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for Him

4/22/2005 c1 90poetic abortion
THough I am still not completly sure what this is all about, though I guess that adds to the mystery, the fun of trying to figure out your way of interpiting it. I really liked this, it was sweet in my eyes but also held this dark but beautiful image to them. ^^; For some reason I was thinking of Satan or other religous figures, I don't know why. =) Well done though! The format really brings out its power and the emotion.

!~* Noelle *~!
9/11/2003 c1 1aleppine
I love this. I have always loved a lack of punctuation in poetry. It gives an endless feel to the poem. Someone on this site dissed me once for not using punctuation. Fool.

The structure; I like it a lot. Sentences broken off at just that right point to flow into the next line; you've done it well. 'Splashes of darkness' - 'swimming with delicious apology' - excellent imagery. And of course, the last two lines.

Really well done.

You could always run away back to London. The guys here don't wear pink. I'd say no-one had their heads up their arses, but then I'd be lying, because there's this man called Tony Blair. And Latin rocks.
9/11/2003 c1 amicusveritas
"When love turns an immortal into a God" Even with your authors note I am not sure what you had as a meaning, but...perhaps mystery is part of a poem, Hidden Years...regards...amicus
9/10/2003 c1 127godawful teen-angst poetry
oh...my. That's so incredibly cool...I love the Wagner reference, I love it when people allude to famous people/works in their own work. Er. Right. Anyways. Tres cool!
9/9/2003 c1 11M.D. Cantine
Thsi is very good. I like it.
9/4/2003 c1 these kids
That was a truely inspiring peace of work. I imagined a dark night with the stars hining bright and the god of the sun shooting the arrow rising the sun. (like in Fantasia almost) oh well. thats probably not what you meant it to be :) but I liked it a lot.
8/23/2003 c1 57tofujunky
Good descriptions. I find it very deep, it brought out a certain undescribable feeling when I was reading it. Kind of like love and yearning, but much more.
8/23/2003 c1 37handle187
Good s* ! That's a very good description of love.
8/22/2003 c1 8ThisCatharticNail
this is very intimate. Reading it, it is almost as if i was the one thinking the thoughts, as if i had written this. A good, empathetic piece. Well written, and concise.

p.s. thank you for your comments. i appreciate them very much.
7/16/2003 c1 22MoLay
i like how you make short poetry work for you!

The fact that you capitalized "Him" and "His" is a better way to indicate that you saw him as a god than to just say it-good job; but why not pull the summary into the poem...tweak it and take it to another level.
7/13/2003 c1 One With Moonlight
Wonderful work, me likes. I love the beauty of free verse, and you've done a magnificent job of showing that aspect in your poem. Yes, quite lovely. Quite lovely indeed.
7/9/2003 c1 1romanticvomitx
man...this sucks...i mean...dude, wheres the..actuall poem?
7/6/2003 c1 37Animagess
Not bad... I almost liked the summary better, though, just because the subject fits the poem so well without either having to be explicitly stated. It seemed a little disjointed and unconnected though, kind of like 'found' poetry.
6/12/2003 c1 bestbuddy
Good. I like your use of free prose. That is something I'm not brave enough to do.
5/29/2003 c1 Roses and Candles
What is the mening of this thing, I completely was confused...You didn't have a point. I'm this dude's friend I have something to say about it: IT SUCKS! I am not I a poem writer and I know this is bad it is worse than my little sister's crap, you call yourself a poem writer You suck. THIS IS BULLSHIT!
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