for Demons of the Night5/25/2003 c2 
4Gabriel C
Perhaps a bit of revision for spelling and grammatical errors would be the order of the day. Your concept, however, is terribly rehashed since vampire stories (and badly written ones at that) are a dime a dozen here on FictionPress.net. You ought to look into putting into writing more unconventional ideas that do not betray the astonishing lack of creativity you seem to be displaying at this juncture. Your writing is of average quality, though as I mentioned before running the piece by a third party is highly advisable given the alarming number of errors I've encountered whilst reading your work. In addition, deal in other realms of the supernatural and unexplained for vampires, though captivating and in a sense enamouring in their own sort of way, have been written about so many times and by so many mediocre to terrible authors that it will take a great deal of originality, flair, and imagination to pen a story worthy of being "passable."
4Gabriel CPerhaps a bit of revision for spelling and grammatical errors would be the order of the day. Your concept, however, is terribly rehashed since vampire stories (and badly written ones at that) are a dime a dozen here on FictionPress.net. You ought to look into putting into writing more unconventional ideas that do not betray the astonishing lack of creativity you seem to be displaying at this juncture. Your writing is of average quality, though as I mentioned before running the piece by a third party is highly advisable given the alarming number of errors I've encountered whilst reading your work. In addition, deal in other realms of the supernatural and unexplained for vampires, though captivating and in a sense enamouring in their own sort of way, have been written about so many times and by so many mediocre to terrible authors that it will take a great deal of originality, flair, and imagination to pen a story worthy of being "passable."
5/25/2003 c2 6Jessica Night
Hey again! Told you I would review once I finished. ^_^ Anyway. So far the story is very interesting, and the only connection I see between "Demons of the Night" and "The Vampire Lestat" is the fact that there's a character named Nicolas and it's set in the 18th century. Other than that, it's completely original. :) I hope you continue writing this story, and I'm waiting for the next update.
~Jessica M. Night~
6Jessica NightHey again! Told you I would review once I finished. ^_^ Anyway. So far the story is very interesting, and the only connection I see between "Demons of the Night" and "The Vampire Lestat" is the fact that there's a character named Nicolas and it's set in the 18th century. Other than that, it's completely original. :) I hope you continue writing this story, and I'm waiting for the next update.
~Jessica M. Night~
5/25/2003 c2 6Phantom Moon
Its great story so far. I am looking forward to more of it becuase now that you have gotten through the describtions and the base of the story, I think its gonna take off. I am not a big fan about that crush on Falane part of the story, its little wried. Update it!
6Phantom MoonIts great story so far. I am looking forward to more of it becuase now that you have gotten through the describtions and the base of the story, I think its gonna take off. I am not a big fan about that crush on Falane part of the story, its little wried. Update it!
5/24/2003 c1 7Vakril
that was pretty good. umm if u really wanna base this sorta on Anne Rices novels then u gotta know that in her Novels Vampires when they become vampires their umm reporductive organs die. so yeah...that woudlnt have hurt it. and o this paragraph had a few mistakes just letting u know
The ground was covered in moss, and some was in swam. The trees around us were now gone, we stood in an open space among the woods. I felt a child go down my spin that made my body all over for an instant tremble. The willows were still, the grass had not a movement, there were not even crickets giving us there musical tunes of the evening.
7Vakrilthat was pretty good. umm if u really wanna base this sorta on Anne Rices novels then u gotta know that in her Novels Vampires when they become vampires their umm reporductive organs die. so yeah...that woudlnt have hurt it. and o this paragraph had a few mistakes just letting u know
The ground was covered in moss, and some was in swam. The trees around us were now gone, we stood in an open space among the woods. I felt a child go down my spin that made my body all over for an instant tremble. The willows were still, the grass had not a movement, there were not even crickets giving us there musical tunes of the evening.
5/22/2003 c2 9Salena Harris
I'm glad you feel this is an "awsume" story. I would have thought spelling-error riddled, regurgitated and clichéd nail on a chalkboard would have been more appropriate.
I guess that's just me.
9Salena HarrisI'm glad you feel this is an "awsume" story. I would have thought spelling-error riddled, regurgitated and clichéd nail on a chalkboard would have been more appropriate.
I guess that's just me.
5/22/2003 c1 6Jessica Night
Hey! Love your story so far... Actually, I haven't even finished the first chapter yet, but that's because my brother's making me get off the internet... Anywho. I can't wait to finish it! I'm writing a vampire story myself. :) I'll review again once I finish these chapters. Bye!
~Jessica Night~
6Jessica NightHey! Love your story so far... Actually, I haven't even finished the first chapter yet, but that's because my brother's making me get off the internet... Anywho. I can't wait to finish it! I'm writing a vampire story myself. :) I'll review again once I finish these chapters. Bye!
~Jessica Night~