for Suppressed Love2/13/2004 c1 
70Burning Moon
perfect . . . all there is to say . . .
1 thing, tho:
"The two lovers left heartbroken
As the girl was lead from view." . . . no a in led . . . but the idea and the rhythm n the rhyming . . . wow
70Burning Moonperfect . . . all there is to say . . .
1 thing, tho:
"The two lovers left heartbroken
As the girl was lead from view." . . . no a in led . . . but the idea and the rhythm n the rhyming . . . wow
1/19/2004 c1 54Cal Miskimen
Great holy jahosophat! I cannot BELIEVE YOU! This is awsome. Better then any love drama I've ever read! (INCLUDING Romeo and Juliet). Astounding. Meraculious(sp?). I cannot get over the wonderful way you wrote this. Forget about violin girl, go for some kind of Enlgish! You inspire me so. I hope you know this.
Rather then making this a poem of expressions you made it into a picture, painted with lively colors and everything inbetween. My mind was enveloped in the poem as soon as I started. Captivating! Every word written could not have been replaced otherwise it would not have been the same. Awesome! And the rhyming scheme! ABCDEFGH, pure, purely wondrous. I am utterly impressed by your talent at such a young age. You could be the next Amelia Atwater-Rhodes. BUT BETTER!
Young Woman, you have been given a gift from God, and you'd better as stick use it! God Bless you, God Bless you. AHH!
Guy McLaughlin.
PS. I am greatly liked by a lot of people here on fiction press, but obviously they have never read your stuff. It would do me great honor to have you review some of my writtings.
54Cal MiskimenGreat holy jahosophat! I cannot BELIEVE YOU! This is awsome. Better then any love drama I've ever read! (INCLUDING Romeo and Juliet). Astounding. Meraculious(sp?). I cannot get over the wonderful way you wrote this. Forget about violin girl, go for some kind of Enlgish! You inspire me so. I hope you know this.
Rather then making this a poem of expressions you made it into a picture, painted with lively colors and everything inbetween. My mind was enveloped in the poem as soon as I started. Captivating! Every word written could not have been replaced otherwise it would not have been the same. Awesome! And the rhyming scheme! ABCDEFGH, pure, purely wondrous. I am utterly impressed by your talent at such a young age. You could be the next Amelia Atwater-Rhodes. BUT BETTER!
Young Woman, you have been given a gift from God, and you'd better as stick use it! God Bless you, God Bless you. AHH!
Guy McLaughlin.
PS. I am greatly liked by a lot of people here on fiction press, but obviously they have never read your stuff. It would do me great honor to have you review some of my writtings.
9/20/2003 c1 33Be Summer Rain
This gave me chills. (And not just because it's cold in the basement.)
Seriously, it's amazing.
So very sad...
(is sended a word)
~Laura
33Be Summer RainThis gave me chills. (And not just because it's cold in the basement.)
Seriously, it's amazing.
So very sad...
(is sended a word)
~Laura
6/27/2003 c1 18InSpiteOf
Ah, I loved your poem! Beautiful. I adored the rhyme scheme and your word usage. A great poem, a great poem. Keep writing... I look forward to reading more.
18InSpiteOfAh, I loved your poem! Beautiful. I adored the rhyme scheme and your word usage. A great poem, a great poem. Keep writing... I look forward to reading more.
6/22/2003 c1 3CholeieRoLL
thats a really touching poem, it reminds me of romio and juliet, i love how you had an ABCB format with the rhyming
3CholeieRoLLthats a really touching poem, it reminds me of romio and juliet, i love how you had an ABCB format with the rhyming
6/11/2003 c1 34Wasted Postage
Excellent excellent work! It sounds a lot like Romeo and Juliet only not. I'm sorry, I am even confusing myself. In any case, great work!
34Wasted PostageExcellent excellent work! It sounds a lot like Romeo and Juliet only not. I'm sorry, I am even confusing myself. In any case, great work!
5/31/2003 c1 Gloden Moon and Silver Sun
*Sob* That was sad. I loved it! LOL Golden Moon and Silver Sun. a.k.a. Angel 1
*Sob* That was sad. I loved it! LOL Golden Moon and Silver Sun. a.k.a. Angel 1
5/27/2003 c1 keng2116bellsouth.com
whew
i knew her when
i did
whew
i knew her when
i did
5/26/2003 c1 217MistrissD
OMG! I love this! The rhyming is so cute and the story is so wonderful, I can totally picture the story going on in my mind, your so talented, I love this so much I can't even begin!
217MistrissDOMG! I love this! The rhyming is so cute and the story is so wonderful, I can totally picture the story going on in my mind, your so talented, I love this so much I can't even begin!
5/26/2003 c1 7fool-of-a-took2
Wonderful job Mary Helen! You HAVE to use this one for english. It's so cool that you actually tell a story through it - whenever I try doing that, and making it rhyme and all, I end up with lines like "I like cows, but not raw." Lol. It's so sad, but so good! I love it!
7fool-of-a-took2Wonderful job Mary Helen! You HAVE to use this one for english. It's so cool that you actually tell a story through it - whenever I try doing that, and making it rhyme and all, I end up with lines like "I like cows, but not raw." Lol. It's so sad, but so good! I love it!
5/26/2003 c1 9CatieZee
Wow, hun, this is really good! The language is totally awesome (except, sended isn't a word, but I'm sure you knew that). It's sad though, like Romeo and Juliet, but still really good. Excellent job, honey!
9CatieZeeWow, hun, this is really good! The language is totally awesome (except, sended isn't a word, but I'm sure you knew that). It's sad though, like Romeo and Juliet, but still really good. Excellent job, honey!
5/26/2003 c1 3PeachPawz
Oh, that was so good! It was beautifully-written! Oh, my gosh! It's fantastic! *dies*
~Peach
3PeachPawzOh, that was so good! It was beautifully-written! Oh, my gosh! It's fantastic! *dies*
~Peach
5/26/2003 c1 7Demeter Rose
Narrative poetry is a hard thing to write and it looks like you've got it. one suggestion, swap escorting and courting in the first two lines. It doesn't quite make sense the way it is now.
7Demeter RoseNarrative poetry is a hard thing to write and it looks like you've got it. one suggestion, swap escorting and courting in the first two lines. It doesn't quite make sense the way it is now.
5/26/2003 c1 5LauraLizz007
that is so beautiful! i love the rhyme sceme, they don't seem forced, they just... flow. very beautiful!
Laura
5LauraLizz007that is so beautiful! i love the rhyme sceme, they don't seem forced, they just... flow. very beautiful!
Laura