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9/14/2003 c2 9Magentian
uh-oh... stalker... not a good thing.

For some reason, probably the general slackness of Michael's life, these small occasional oddities seem magnified to the Nth degree, which I can only suspect is intentional. It certainly generates a great deal of suspense.

The e.e. cummings style chapter titles only add to the uniqueness of this piece.
9/14/2003 c1 Magentian
Wonderful, humorous and descriptive narraration... I swear, I can think of a guy I know who's exactly like this. Impressive start.
8/2/2003 c16 123
i cant wait to see what's so special about micheal. good story.
7/28/2003 c16 Aeitul
Ah! There's no more! I was really getting into and then there's no more. Could you please update as soon as you are able? I'm very wrapped up in this story.

I've finally figured out a better term for that unique, somewhat odd feeling I get from this-surreal. Surreal is a good description of all this, considering that it has a sort of dream-like quality to it (to me it does, at least). As I've said before, I like this feeling. It hooked me and it's kept me hooked.
7/28/2003 c13 Aeitul
"Sain" has such a unique, somewhat odd feeling to it. It's a good feeling, though. It's why I've been sitting here for the past I-don't-know-how-long, reading it. The whole thing is very intriguing.

I like Gulf's accent/dialect. At times, I have to reread what he's said so that I could understand what he was saying, but that's perfectly all right. It only adds to this whole unique, somewhat odd feeling.
7/28/2003 c10 Aeitul
I simply had to review this chapter in order to tell you that I love your description. Ex-"The whiteness of the refrigerator seemed faintly yellowish-grey, like the dullness of flour when placed next to a pile of sugar."

Nice. It provides some very good images. You've maintained a good level of description throughout this story so far and I commend you on that. I think the description adds to the unique feel of this story.
7/28/2003 c8 Aeitul
A talking dinosaur. My first image of Gulf was Barney, but, thankfully, that's faded now. Gulf is actually somewhat likeable. Barney, on the other hand, is the spawn of Satan.

Uh oh, the woman's been kidnapped. I bet Michael's gonna have to get off his lazy butt and go rescue her.

This story is rather different from most of the stories I've read; a good sort of different. I'm really liking this and am very interested in reading more (which I will). I do have one tiny problem, though. You seem to, on occasion, have two people speak in one paragraph. It's not a big deal.
7/28/2003 c4 Aeitul
I'm not sure what to make of this yet. It has my attention, certainly, and it definately has potential. It has a hint of mystery to it that makes me want to go on reading (which I will in just a few moments).

I think I like Michael. I realize that you've described his as average and his life as boring, but he himself seems interesting. Then again, I like jaded, bitter characters.
7/28/2003 c1 87Romantic Squirrel
Good story. Love your Bio. Hitchhikers kicks ass. I like your others to.
7/20/2003 c15 8Nyaa
eep. Blood; and a cliffhanger. Ussually those two mean something when used in conjunction, but I'm betting that they mean something different now.

I thought it clever of you to have gulf's punishment if he didn't come back with michael to be standing outside the door till he met his end. Oh, and -Five months? That'll be something interesting, I'm sure.
7/19/2003 c15 lostinscotland
oho, the suspense! which person is behind this door, i wonder? no doubt someone dreadfully important...eehee!

i like the door with the multiple doorknobs; that's clever. very nice job, keep it up!
7/17/2003 c14 Nyaa
I've said this before... this stgory is going along the same path as Donnie Darko.In quality as well as plot.

"You could ask 'who' happened here, my boy,"

Michael never does ask 'who' happened there. Are you going to tell us later, or was that one of the things we're supposed to have guessed already?

"He was sure the dinosaur hadn't been smoking. "

Erm... do you mean that the dinosour wasn't smoking in the tunnel, and the smoke is just miracoulusly appearing, or was the dinosaur not smoking in tscience fiction mive he had watched?

Please! Update more!
7/16/2003 c14 lostinscotland
fun stuff. this story just keeps getting weirder, but that's the fun of it!
7/15/2003 c13 Nyaa
I think this is my favorite of your stories...

Poor Michael, though. No-one ever explains anything to him, they just expect him to know.

I have nothing to critique right now, that I can think of, exept that you haven't updated in a while. Well? Hop to it! This is a good story. *hop hop hop* (jk)
7/11/2003 c13 lostinscotland
ooh, interesting. this story is just getting better and better, albeit stranger and stranger...

sorry it took so long for me to review this chapter, i've been busy, o.o;;

anyhows, good work, and keep updating!
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