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for The Child of the Storm

11/28/2010 c19 4Aelfdronna Cierclal
This is highly amusing and very well written. I only wish there were more chapters...

Your characters are also highly unusual (in the best way possible) and had me crying from laughing so much. Please continue with your epic literary accomplishment, I beg of you! This is now officially my favourite story.
3/11/2004 c9 37Peachez 24
*waves hand* THANX SHADES! ^-^
If not I wouldn't have had the chance to read this. You know Rai, I do belive this is one of your better stories that I've read. Though nothing tops Keep Breathing. I dunno, that story just has a wacky pull to it. ^-^ just your great writing. Anyway, I shall keep reading. Keep writing and update soon!
Peachez ^_~
3/11/2004 c1 Peachez 24
You know, I don't believe I've even stumbled across this one of yours. Hm... I don't believe I'll have enough time to update myself to where you are now, but I will be reading.
Your descriptions and characters are amazing as normal. I'm surprised how well we know that characters and in the first chapter. Anyway, keep writing!
Peachez ^_~
2/28/2004 c18 Rivana
*laughs and laughs and laughs* oh my dear god, this is wonderful. It's crude and a bit too confusingly written to be healthy, but the sarcasms and impossibliity/high probability of it all is really interesting. The constant bantering and the characters are simply adorable! And to think you actually manage to get a plot into the mess as well and set the whole thing in the border land between serious and hilarious... Darling I applaud you! Hope you update again soon, I can't wait to see what happens next.
2/20/2004 c4 8Kezkay
So short, so very short, Rai. If I didn't know better, I'd say this is a satire of human nature with some dang powerful insight, but, just a story, just a story. (notice the quirked eyebrow and doubtful look).
Dee is cool. I like him. Iri is cool too, in a messed-up sort of way. I like your frequent comparisons of him to animals- wolves especially. madness is fun, ne?
1/19/2004 c17 xerosphere
Eheh. Rhapsody's one cool, eloquent bastard. But you already know that.
I enjoyed the witty dialogue quite a bit. Description in most places is solid, and the quest (?) seems to be progressing more or less – with many amusing new characters and situations that I, as an easily amused reader, appreciate a great deal. I'd suggest sticking with the 1st person, but you could try experimenting with different perspectives. Or exert your omnipotent narrative voice, whichever suits.
Kaiv is adorable.
... I'm sure if I linked these two words in your world _someone_ would mercifully run me through.
10/24/2003 c3 Kezkay
Short chapter Rai! You left me wanting! You may have uploaded this at 1:34, but still! *cries* *bashes you over the head* Write more!

Iri is one odd, odd madman. My, is that a little redundant? Though redundant itself is redundant, so nevermind. Ahem.

"I felt strangely as if I had passed some sort of ritual in to a state of madness. Iri still grinned at me with a smile uncomfortably full of teeth, surprisingly white and sharp." That image was just great. I had to put it on here. Reminds me of the Cheshire cat. -Kez
9/11/2003 c17 Cloudy
Hey, glad you posted another chapter :)

About the French: I'm not bad at it, but most of the time I have no idea what you mean. I don't recognise the words: "Canonisé" (not necessary, so never mind), "après-diner-une" (pretty sure that's not a word in french, and I'm having some trouble guessing what it means. Only guess I could come up with, would be "afternoon", which would make "Bon après-midi" a closer translation.), and "literie" (that one probably because I've been neglecting my french vocabulary. I can guess, but I could be miles off, so please give a translation.)

And unless it was your intention to use the orcisch version of french (which is possible, of course), you might want to change "Nous se rencontrer" to "Nous nous rencontrons".

Please don't be offended if I sound a bit professor-y. I just like showing off my half-baked language skills. I know I would like for people to be more critical of what I write, so I tend to be "helpful" if the occasion arises.

I'm also a bit confused about the last part of chapter 17, but that might be because it's been a while since I read Nikkita's story. Or maybe Nikki is just not very coherent when he's this angry.

Untill next time. Soon, I hope :)
8/28/2003 c16 Cloudy
So, I read it. And I must say, you know how to do "surprising plot twists" :) I hope the next chapter comes soon.

One problem you are going to encounter if you ever publish: the "excessive sarcasm" style makes for a very enjoyable read, but after a few times (say five) it gets too boring/familiar to reread. So I'm not sure if it's gonna sell all that well...
8/27/2003 c9 Cloudy
I just got to chapter 9, but I wanted to let you know I'm reading the story anyway. At least half the sentences sound so familiar I can't believe they're actually your words, and the setting in the beginning was a bit too bloody to my liking, but you write in the most captivating way, and the story is enormously funny. You can put another marking in the "addicted" list :) Your wording isn't perfect yet (at least I think I noticed some grammatical errors), but it's getting very close.

Now I'm going to read the rest of it, I hope you managed to keep up to the expectations you raised in the beginning. Good luck!
8/13/2003 c2 Kezkay
Ah. What a vision to be left with as I scurry off to bed. I'd like to thank you. haha. Anyway, favorite lines:

"All I knew was Iri played in life-blood like others played in the rain."


"These things all took place after death, and were, therefore, unimportant to him.

It was raining again." This chapter perfectly portrayed different feelings after bloodlust and war, -Kez
7/3/2003 c2 3naughty little munchkin
ok, normally i review every few chapters... but i just had to say that this one was especially gory. Iri freeks me out! lol! twisted bastard. ugh. ah well...ok, will continue on reading... heehee. gee, lots of blood and gore in this story... and its only the second chapter! argh!
7/3/2003 c1 naughty little munchkin
hey there! wow, sorry, finally got aroundto reading u're story :P sorry for the wait, but i've just started ma skool holidays! so now i'll have heaps of time on my hands... oh, only wen i'm not doing homework of course :P

n e way, this was - if u don't mind me saying - kind of a morbid start to u're story! lol! but very well-written. its actually kinda sad really, a tyrant ruler and no one can do n e thing about it except to follow his/her wishes. but yeah, u have a nice direct style, and i picked up quite a few artistic descriptions in there, so well done on that. brilliant job on the whole first-person style story. as u sed u'reself, 'its a bitch to pull off' and u've done it beautifully.

n e way, storyline's got me interested so i'm gonna keep on reading! thanks for suggesting me to read this story :P

lotsa luv, nadia :P

ps - thanks heaps for u're review on my story! i just updated it yesterday so check it out and tell me what u think if u're interested! thanks!
6/27/2003 c15 4Shades of Twilight
gads woman, that's cruel, making me faul on my ass like that. i can't laugh that much with out rupturing something! "My weapon of choice was highly explosive rabbits!", christ my eyes teared up i was laughing so hard!

anyway, update soon damn you! and please keep up with teh Iria randomisms, they're hilarious!

6/27/2003 c14 Shades of Twilight
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha . . .this chapter was just . .hahahahahaha! Does that explain it? Anyway, I loved it. Iria/Dee fights are thus fav my favorite part of your story, that and your easy-flowing writing. Anyway, The chap was great, don't change a thing. Oh, and to what you said **strokes chin and nods** I can't wait tll Dee shows his bastard-ness. anywho, on to the next chap!

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