
6/6/2005 c1 TheMaidenoftheMoon
That was really great-you told such a meaningful story in such a short amount of time. Through Chris we got a lot about Gywn even though this was short, and we saw a really developed characters which is hard to do in novel, let alone a story like this, so awesome job. The ending was cool too, how it tied everything together, very poignant. I'm putting on my favorite stories, very nice
That was really great-you told such a meaningful story in such a short amount of time. Through Chris we got a lot about Gywn even though this was short, and we saw a really developed characters which is hard to do in novel, let alone a story like this, so awesome job. The ending was cool too, how it tied everything together, very poignant. I'm putting on my favorite stories, very nice
8/6/2004 c1
23Platypi
Just like the rest of your reviewers, I was really impressed by the story; your dialogue and characters are compelling and you concisely show something meaningful and real.
Technical notes:
[-even though he knew the answer would be a terse no.] and [suggested that her headache hadn’t gone away yet.] can't both be there. It's too repetitive.
dieing is mispelled.

Just like the rest of your reviewers, I was really impressed by the story; your dialogue and characters are compelling and you concisely show something meaningful and real.
Technical notes:
[-even though he knew the answer would be a terse no.] and [suggested that her headache hadn’t gone away yet.] can't both be there. It's too repetitive.
dieing is mispelled.
3/3/2004 c1
2kaze-nyv
This is very, very good. It's... touching, I guess you could say. I like how you used flashbacks to enhance the rest of the story, and I loved how you tied it all in at the end.
Thank you so much for your review- I didn't even realize I had changed the name halfway through. Yeah, they're the same person, that was just one of my stupid mistakes... Ah, well. I'll fix that now. And, well, I know Caitlin doesn't have any redeeming qualities at the moment, but that's probably because I haven't figured any out for her yet... and, well, it's only the first chapter! Thanks again!
~Truth~

This is very, very good. It's... touching, I guess you could say. I like how you used flashbacks to enhance the rest of the story, and I loved how you tied it all in at the end.
Thank you so much for your review- I didn't even realize I had changed the name halfway through. Yeah, they're the same person, that was just one of my stupid mistakes... Ah, well. I'll fix that now. And, well, I know Caitlin doesn't have any redeeming qualities at the moment, but that's probably because I haven't figured any out for her yet... and, well, it's only the first chapter! Thanks again!
~Truth~
9/8/2003 c1 Kathleen
Wow. I saw that you posted on my friend's Blog, and I just happened to end up here. I'm a writer myself and that was a really good story. Have you submitted it to any literary magazines?
Just one comment...would Gwyn have sharp nails if she was a farm girl?
Wow. I saw that you posted on my friend's Blog, and I just happened to end up here. I'm a writer myself and that was a really good story. Have you submitted it to any literary magazines?
Just one comment...would Gwyn have sharp nails if she was a farm girl?
9/8/2003 c1 Kathleen
Wow. I saw that you posted on my friend's Blog, and I just happened to end up here. I'm a writer myself and that was a really good story. Have you submitted it to any literary magazines?
Just one comment...would Gwyn have sharp nails if she was a farm girl?
Wow. I saw that you posted on my friend's Blog, and I just happened to end up here. I'm a writer myself and that was a really good story. Have you submitted it to any literary magazines?
Just one comment...would Gwyn have sharp nails if she was a farm girl?
9/8/2003 c1 Kathleen
Wow. I saw that you posted on my friend's Blog, and I just happened to end up here. I'm a writer myself and that was a really good story. Have you submitted it to any literary magazines?
Just one comment...would Gwyn have sharp nails if she was a farm girl?
Wow. I saw that you posted on my friend's Blog, and I just happened to end up here. I'm a writer myself and that was a really good story. Have you submitted it to any literary magazines?
Just one comment...would Gwyn have sharp nails if she was a farm girl?
7/10/2003 c1 Mysterious
I like this story, it's good.
Keep writing.
I like this story, it's good.
Keep writing.
6/9/2003 c1
9CatieZee
WOW...just...WOW! This is so so good.
Fabulous short story.
Love the going back and forth between past and present, really really great idea.
You are so talented. This is such a sad, yet strangely sweet story. Wow!
Am in awe.
Great job!

WOW...just...WOW! This is so so good.
Fabulous short story.
Love the going back and forth between past and present, really really great idea.
You are so talented. This is such a sad, yet strangely sweet story. Wow!
Am in awe.
Great job!
6/6/2003 c1
3Lucerna
"For if she did, she just might wind up with broken thumbs"
That's really excellent. I felt a lot of sympathy for Gywn by the end even though, outwardly she didn't appear to likeable. The insight into her character through Chris created a lot of pathos. You've given her a lot of history already so she's quite intriguing, and I hope you write more :)
And thanks for reviewing. I hadn't considered that the history of Alanna's mother would be confusing. I'll fix it ^-^

"For if she did, she just might wind up with broken thumbs"
That's really excellent. I felt a lot of sympathy for Gywn by the end even though, outwardly she didn't appear to likeable. The insight into her character through Chris created a lot of pathos. You've given her a lot of history already so she's quite intriguing, and I hope you write more :)
And thanks for reviewing. I hadn't considered that the history of Alanna's mother would be confusing. I'll fix it ^-^
6/4/2003 c1 PainKiller
Well... I've never read anything like it. This was just had an amazing message, and the final paragraph was so wonderfully written. It was the perfect way to end it. You are extremely talented. Keep writing.
Well... I've never read anything like it. This was just had an amazing message, and the final paragraph was so wonderfully written. It was the perfect way to end it. You are extremely talented. Keep writing.
5/31/2003 c1
21NatashaRostof
Oh, wow. I had to read that last paragraph a couple of times. What an amazing...connection...
It is totally incredible-and I know I've said something of the sort before-how very developed your characters are right from the start, and even more in just a short period of time. It's like...you've known them all your life, or something.
AAh, I love your writing. :o)

Oh, wow. I had to read that last paragraph a couple of times. What an amazing...connection...
It is totally incredible-and I know I've said something of the sort before-how very developed your characters are right from the start, and even more in just a short period of time. It's like...you've known them all your life, or something.
AAh, I love your writing. :o)