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9/15/2003 c1 Bakadesu
This lost a lot of its sensitivity and effectiveness simply because of the lack of regard for grammar. You do not place commas after nouns of address, you use the wrong forms of "you're" and "your", and you don't punctuate properly. You confuse homophones. This actually takes a way a lot of pleasure that could have been recieved from reading a story, because it seems like the author couldn't take the time to go through with spell-check.

In the future, I'd advise you to get a beta-reader.
6/8/2003 c1 Sincere SeReNiTy too lazy too log in
Whe! It's me!

yays! that was REALLY good, nice discription was so good! It WAS pretty sad and angst-y *sniff* but it was cute at the end. I loved it!

You write so well, you should be proud! Well i'll shut up now...

*hops away*

Adios!

~(Serenity)~

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