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for nostalgia 86 or another night staring into the sun

4/23/2004 c1 116Incubabe
God... it's so fantastic.
This is how poetry should be. Seriously.
I'm speechless and you have NO idea how rarely that happens.
It's on my fave stories list... it just had to be.
1/5/2004 c1 121Seeker of the Way
Again, very evocative! I felt pulled into your telling! So many wonderful images I felt as if fireworks were going off in my head!
Of course, I am going backwards thru your works, kind of like Merlin!
good job! you may like Razor Sharp Kisses "Sin" poems - she sure would love the reviews! thanks
1/4/2004 c1 56Blasphemequarantine
This poem is far richer in visuals than anything I've ever seen before.
Its an awful lot to digest since there are no commas or periods so I don't really know where to start.
I notice you repeat certain words a little, like flakes, pillars, sun, glow, flecks, tawny. If you were to pop some synonyms and divide up your paragraphs I think this would be perfect although it will depend on what you intended to do to the reader anyway.
1/2/2004 c1 127godawful teen-angst poetry
I adore this. Every line has such a nostalgic melancholy to it, like looking through faded sepia photos in a dusty antiques shop...*sigh* oh the loveliness. Your imagery is...wow. I don't even have words. You are amazing.
12/14/2003 c1 8Rosemary Greene
wow that was really good I like he mental sceneary very descriptive
please continue
Raven Demon
12/13/2003 c1 25pleasecometrue
Wow. That blew my mind. Awesome imagery, great write!
7/7/2003 c1 29understated
very nice imagery with the paint flakes. i liked the lines "these flakes have seen the past felt my back rubbing against them brushing some loose/as I rested or laughed even as I slept in the arms of those who are gone"

my suggestion is to add some punctuation to make your intended rhythm obvious to the reader. (and way to shun caps... :))
7/4/2003 c1 38Shadafakup
Very VERY very beautiful.. Breathtaking descriptions.. So peaceful.. i wonderful choice of words and amazing descriptions.. Havent read somethin like this in quite a long while.. I dont know what to say, just that its fantastic and I enjoyed it a lot..
6/26/2003 c1 70insert name here
great poem! u have a really unique and original style of writing, continue on ur journey! great job!


(ty for r/r my poemz) u rock!
6/24/2003 c1 Nico Morrison
You reviewed my story...thought I'd return the favor. (thanks by the way!)

This piece was interesting to me not only semantically but aesthetically. The lack of punctuation allows for a smooth, free-falling, flowing rhythm that matches perfectly with your subject matter. Nicely done!
6/13/2003 c1 Paradoxical Goddess
huh...this poem feels...heavy, at first. the descriptions/adjectives seem to overwhelm the reader and you get burdened by the baroque-ish imagery.

but then, amazingly, when you end the poem you think: wow. that was good. and then you wonder why. :)
6/11/2003 c1 15oh-sweet-nothing
that might be my favorite poem out of all the poems i've read on this site. good job!
6/10/2003 c1 9Lise72
Wow that was good, lots of description,very full, maybe too full but that is for you to decide!


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