for Together as One Apart10/27/2003 c1 
132Sarah Parker
Oh this is such a gorgeous poem. Absolutely beautiful imagery and your word choice is amazing... wonderful, wonderful job. So very heartwrenching.
132Sarah ParkerOh this is such a gorgeous poem. Absolutely beautiful imagery and your word choice is amazing... wonderful, wonderful job. So very heartwrenching.
7/16/2003 c1 8glitterjewele
wow! this is astoundingly vivid and powerful, you create the scenes and the emotions expertly. the pain and helplessness of the lovers really jumps out at you. i loved how you classified the natural elements as belonging to specific emotions (i.e.-the seas of longing) and kept the same mold going through the entire poem ~ it served as a very effective connecting device. got a wonderful sense of a plummeting movement when you switched from the girl on the top of the cliff to the guy stranded on a rock in the middle of the ocean below. also, i loved how they never spoke except for that one cry (which didn't make any noise at all the way you wrote it - very cool) ~ the denial of their simple motions accomplished *such* an amazing effect. my most favoritest lines in the piece overall were "hair of streaming golden love," "she turns her crystalline eyes of patience," "surrounded by a sea of ridicule," and "they give in to the reeking power of fate/and tumble into the black sea of tragedy." the end was absolutely gorgeous ~ on par with romeo and juliet 'beautiful tragedy'ness, i'd say. fantastic work. i shall most definitely be back to read more of your stuff as soon as i find another free moment. kudos!
8glitterjewelewow! this is astoundingly vivid and powerful, you create the scenes and the emotions expertly. the pain and helplessness of the lovers really jumps out at you. i loved how you classified the natural elements as belonging to specific emotions (i.e.-the seas of longing) and kept the same mold going through the entire poem ~ it served as a very effective connecting device. got a wonderful sense of a plummeting movement when you switched from the girl on the top of the cliff to the guy stranded on a rock in the middle of the ocean below. also, i loved how they never spoke except for that one cry (which didn't make any noise at all the way you wrote it - very cool) ~ the denial of their simple motions accomplished *such* an amazing effect. my most favoritest lines in the piece overall were "hair of streaming golden love," "she turns her crystalline eyes of patience," "surrounded by a sea of ridicule," and "they give in to the reeking power of fate/and tumble into the black sea of tragedy." the end was absolutely gorgeous ~ on par with romeo and juliet 'beautiful tragedy'ness, i'd say. fantastic work. i shall most definitely be back to read more of your stuff as soon as i find another free moment. kudos!
7/16/2003 c1 14Dirty Wallpaper
this poem was so strong, it literally engulfed my entire attention, and captured my mind, it was absolutely amazing. the descriptions were tragicly clear and so i got a very very vivid picture of what exactly was heppening, and it was so sad...and here i was thinking i was the only one who wrote poems as depressing as these...ther was something very trademarkie about the poem, like you had really put something into which just made it all yours. i absolutely cannot choose my favourite line/section in this, its all to riviting and essential that i wouldnt dare single out even one little bit.
you obviously have massive amounts of talent, kudos for the magnifico poem.
14Dirty Wallpaperthis poem was so strong, it literally engulfed my entire attention, and captured my mind, it was absolutely amazing. the descriptions were tragicly clear and so i got a very very vivid picture of what exactly was heppening, and it was so sad...and here i was thinking i was the only one who wrote poems as depressing as these...ther was something very trademarkie about the poem, like you had really put something into which just made it all yours. i absolutely cannot choose my favourite line/section in this, its all to riviting and essential that i wouldnt dare single out even one little bit.
you obviously have massive amounts of talent, kudos for the magnifico poem.
6/29/2003 c1 7Pa-Ja-Mas1
WOW that was great it made me think it actually gave me chills it was a very well written poem it hard to describe it without sounding like a sissy lol keep it up
7Pa-Ja-Mas1WOW that was great it made me think it actually gave me chills it was a very well written poem it hard to describe it without sounding like a sissy lol keep it up
6/27/2003 c1 17Winged One1
This poem has such wonderful imagery! You tell such good stories through poems. Never stop writing, I'd have to kill you. ;)
winged one
17Winged One1This poem has such wonderful imagery! You tell such good stories through poems. Never stop writing, I'd have to kill you. ;)
winged one
6/25/2003 c1 Angele Raye
This is amazing. It feels like it was written for me, and only me. Your phrasing is simply beautiful. I truly love it.
Angele Raye~
This is amazing. It feels like it was written for me, and only me. Your phrasing is simply beautiful. I truly love it.
Angele Raye~
6/24/2003 c1 28Softly Jae
As the tempest of deceit climaxes
Awesome line. Great poem. Very true to my life. Good visuals.
-keep writing-
28Softly JaeAs the tempest of deceit climaxes
Awesome line. Great poem. Very true to my life. Good visuals.
-keep writing-
6/21/2003 c1 3J. T. Phlaan
Depressing, emotional, and visuals up the ying-yang. Perfect, but reminds me of a friend of mine...and I hope her life doesn't erode away in pain.
Touching, and powerful
3J. T. PhlaanDepressing, emotional, and visuals up the ying-yang. Perfect, but reminds me of a friend of mine...and I hope her life doesn't erode away in pain.
Touching, and powerful
6/17/2003 c1 128Zainab
Wow, well written. Very mysterious. Love the descriptions you put in, especially about the girl. Good imagery.
128ZainabWow, well written. Very mysterious. Love the descriptions you put in, especially about the girl. Good imagery.
6/16/2003 c1 49recalcitrant
hey seriously thank you, that is the only worth while piece of work that i have read on this fuckin site. i would say 99 percent of the stuff i read it horrible but that was very good.
49recalcitranthey seriously thank you, that is the only worth while piece of work that i have read on this fuckin site. i would say 99 percent of the stuff i read it horrible but that was very good.