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8/8/2003 c1 24fearphobic
lovely poem...i really liked the grave thing...
7/29/2003 c1 Amberose
I have two words for you "KuroiKaen sucks."

-KuroiKaen's note: That's 3 words!

Amberose again: Well, you're the one who didn't leave a space! It's not my fault!plops, sorry for Kuroi's note.

-Kuroi's note: KuroiKaen was placed together for a purpose! Mainly so that my email address would be one character shorter.

Amberose:Sorry again! You must be really scared by now, huh?

-Kuroi's note: If she is, she hasn't been hanging around you long enough.

Amberose: Mr.Tinkles wants to add something also...

Kuroi's note: Totoro doesn't like Mr. Tinkles. It'll use it's superior mass and weight to squash him.

Amberose:Well, Mr.Tinkles doesn't like Totoro either. and he can use his chainsaw before that happens.

Mr.Tinkles:n/kldmfj'ap53741

$i7

Amberose:Sorry, Mr.Tinkles hasn't learned how to type yet...*sweatdrops*

Totoro: sldkfjasl;as9p[tuw0e9 twpu

Kuroi's note: Totoro says that Mr. Tinkle's chain saw is useless. He can bow and grow a forest over the dumb rabbit.

Kuroi's note: And Hiei says rabbits are for eating.

Amberose: You just HAVE to bring Hiei into everything don't you?

Kuroi's note: And Bejiita says he'll blast the skewy wabbit into oblivion.

Amberose: Him too?

Kuroi's note: Hai.

Amberose: Hey! That's not fair! You're not allowed to edit my note!

Kuroi's note: You forgot the question mark. Grammer problems. (And MAJOR spelling problems.)

Amberose: It wasn't s'possed to be a question mark. It was MEANT to be a period.(At least I can spell meant)

Kuroi's note: So can I. I MEANT to say that Hiei and Bejiita want to blast YOU into oblivion too.

Amberose:Well plops for then. Gots to be going now.Sorry for traumatizing you.

Kuroi's note: I'm not.

Amberose:Haven't you learned by now not to listen to Kuroi now?

Kuroi's note: That did not make any sense whatsoever.

Amberose: it will when I edit it.

-Haven't you learned by now not to listen to Kuroi?

Hiei: That makes a bit more sense. Baka niingen.

Amberose:You're human too you know.

Hiei: Am not.

Amberose:Gr...I hate you all. In fact, at the moment I hate the whole world.

Hiei: At least we agree on something.

-amberose...
7/29/2003 c1 Kuroi Kaen
I liked the hiruiseki imput. ^_^

NEways, I liked every other line here.

"All to the star's command' what the %$&*@# does that mean?

I WOULD apologize for my gracious comments but Emily said she'd say "_the word_" for me.

So, anyways, again, I thought it was a very interesting poem when I actually liked it. For instance, "Cascade in a brilliant display" completely lost me. I had absolutely no clue what you were talking about.

I still don't.

"Beside my own grave" -rather cryptic ain't it? `_^

Well... I'll read it again later and attempt to like- I mean enjoy- I mean I DO like it. I really do. I swear. You don't believe me do you?

Darn. That completely ruins the sarcastic effect.

What in the $%)# IS a 'calla lily'.

Where I will meet with my angel (a boy friend?) who will carry my soul to the sirens (who make funny noises) I rasp my obedience and sink beneath the waters and DIE!

I am so proud of myself. I actually understood what you were talking about. Sorta.

...BWHAHAHAHAHA...
7/22/2003 c1 90SweetGrape
So many ways to see it, so many ways to feel it- that goes for most things, but here more so becasue it touches on so many different possiblities.

The moment the rose shatters is the moment that the thoughts and ideas start chattering.

Seems so despairing and aching.

'I drop to my knees'is very powerful and the 'grave' image is darkly strong.

Can wonder about the significance of a calla lily, especially when roses are shattering.

Then it seems to be smoothly calm for a moment 'Who will carry my soul', but quickly turns back into hoarse pain, 'rasp my obedience', and cold, unhappy acceptance 'sink beneath the waters'.
7/6/2003 c1 53Lidless Eye
Very good... you're an excellent poet. Keep up the good work!
6/26/2003 c1 80Plato's Optic Runaway
wow...i'm in awe...this is beautiful! and i like your penname...but anyway, i have to read more of your writing now...
6/19/2003 c1 2Saranha de Angelo
See, this is one of those times that I'm incredibly jealous of what a good poet you are. This piece is absolutely amazing. And I love what you did with the punctuation...I'm probably going to end up reading this a hundred times with a different way of phrasing each time. Only a good piece could make people back and look at it many times over...great job!
6/19/2003 c1 89Lyria Shard
Oh, ah, oh. Sorry, I was just showing some internet tourists your poem! ^_~

In all honesty, and with all joking aside, this is an excellent piece. I'm used to punctuation, but you make this style work, I salute you Marley.

"Get happy!"

Lyrsy

"15p for 40p - that's totally fair"

My friend Michael scrounging for money - pitiful, eh?
6/18/2003 c1 9januaryisforever
Great job, Starlight! Another Fainne-poem... though it could apply to anyone, I think, who's feeling battered and just wants to burn stuff and float away. Wasn't there a commercial or a Ms. Shultz science video on stuff placed in liquid nitrogen, then dropped? I recall a frozen rose shattering in some program on TV. Anyway... write more (as always)!

-Mangoberry

P.S.

SIRENS!

You put them on police cars;

They make a funny noise!

Or, alternatively...

SIRENS!

You put them in the ocean;

They make a funny noise!
6/18/2003 c1 1Marshmallow Vampire
wow...so pretty...crystal and flowers and flame and oceans...

I love the part about twisting to the will of the angels... This poem was so sad and so pretty and I think I'll post it on my door...More suicide though... Marley! Get happy now or else! You're turning into Andrea!

-Amberose,

Pats on the back for a good poem, and maybe a few cookies too
6/17/2003 c1 13Moonie
Spooky. I like it alot. It leaves a haunting feeling and keeps you coming back to read it over and over.

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