for Just a Scratch5/14/2008 c25 augusky
Wow, took me a good two days to read...but it was totally worth it. Good storyline, it kept me intriuged throughout, the paragraphs are funky though...
Wow, took me a good two days to read...but it was totally worth it. Good storyline, it kept me intriuged throughout, the paragraphs are funky though...
7/27/2006 c1 
6bookface31
I already like this, even though I've only read the first chapter.I haven't been on this site for very long, but I like your style. Keep writing, even though you said you were done with this one.It's very good; I'm going to have to read more of it.
6bookface31I already like this, even though I've only read the first chapter.I haven't been on this site for very long, but I like your style. Keep writing, even though you said you were done with this one.It's very good; I'm going to have to read more of it.
5/23/2005 c1 x funky koala x
Hey Ian, it's the other lauren, here.
I warn you now, I suck royally at reviewing.
I really liked the plot, the only thing is the whole paragraph pattern made my eyes go all wacky at some points.
great story!:D
Hey Ian, it's the other lauren, here.
I warn you now, I suck royally at reviewing.
I really liked the plot, the only thing is the whole paragraph pattern made my eyes go all wacky at some points.
great story!:D
5/17/2005 c25 5Lillium
APPLAUSE! APPLAUSE, APPLAUSE!
Yay for the cute, fluffy ending. The story itself r0xx0rz my s0xx0rz, if you'll pardon my leet. You're an awesome writer, CI, in case I haven't mentioned it. And your ideas rock, regardless.
I've only got a few things that I'd say you need to improve if/when you rewrite this: 1) I'd say longer paragraphs, but I'm guilty of short ones, m'self. So I'll say a bit more description. You do quite well with what you've got, but if I didn't actually know you, I'd have a hard time picturing things in my mind. 2) The ending (meaning resolution, etc.) was rather abrupt. What happened after the park incident? What happened to Nate? How did Adam feel about the experience in retrospect?
Elsewise, you're awesome, CI. So, keep writing! (insert many exclamation points)
5LilliumAPPLAUSE! APPLAUSE, APPLAUSE!
Yay for the cute, fluffy ending. The story itself r0xx0rz my s0xx0rz, if you'll pardon my leet. You're an awesome writer, CI, in case I haven't mentioned it. And your ideas rock, regardless.
I've only got a few things that I'd say you need to improve if/when you rewrite this: 1) I'd say longer paragraphs, but I'm guilty of short ones, m'self. So I'll say a bit more description. You do quite well with what you've got, but if I didn't actually know you, I'd have a hard time picturing things in my mind. 2) The ending (meaning resolution, etc.) was rather abrupt. What happened after the park incident? What happened to Nate? How did Adam feel about the experience in retrospect?
Elsewise, you're awesome, CI. So, keep writing! (insert many exclamation points)
5/16/2005 c25 Beldavid the Sorcerer
EN! Now that I've said this, I am going to review, and review very critically, and then I might review some of the reviews, correcting people for bad grammar etc, because I'm like that. Fortunately for you (that is, everyone who reviewed) this would leave EN! distaught, and mildly perturbed, so I won't, for now.
Anyways, for the most part, great story. It doesn't really slow down at all, and has a lot of really good cliffhanger endings for his chapter, but not the story. Thank God for that, not wrapping a story up at the end is extremely infuriating for readers, and may ruin a 20 some odd book long series, as EN! so inconspiculously, I am almost positive I spelled that wrong, pointed out. Yeah, I have a lot of side notes in the middle of sentences, they're there to justify the sentences existance, for everything is pointless without justification, thank God there's 42.
The story does a good job with character developement, except for the villian, he's so one-dimensional, he's worse than A. Square, good luck figuring out that reference. He wasn't nearly feral enough, and his intelligence seemed to wax and wane, though that does seem oddly appropriate. The wolf was a good character though, his droll personality fit very well, and I can't help but think that EN! based him off of soomeone who really existed.
Also, although this is a short read,only an hour or two, EN! definitely needs to stop worrying about how short his chapters are. In fact, the relatively short length of his chapters kept his story interesting and fast paced, the chapter structure was mildly reminiscient of Angels and Demons, which was way better than the Da Vinci code, but I'm not reviewing that now am I. At least he didn't go off on irrelevant tangents (SCORE!) like victor Hugo in Les Mis, if I could go back in time, I would throttle him for that, but I can't go back in time for time does not exist, and it would take too long to explain this, so I won't.
Now that I have shown everybody how conceited I am, everyone will realize that I do not readily compliment people, or writing, and that this work received such compliments from me is something to notice. Now THAT was conceited, like being conceited about being conceited.
So, yeah, read it, NOW!
EN! Now that I've said this, I am going to review, and review very critically, and then I might review some of the reviews, correcting people for bad grammar etc, because I'm like that. Fortunately for you (that is, everyone who reviewed) this would leave EN! distaught, and mildly perturbed, so I won't, for now.
Anyways, for the most part, great story. It doesn't really slow down at all, and has a lot of really good cliffhanger endings for his chapter, but not the story. Thank God for that, not wrapping a story up at the end is extremely infuriating for readers, and may ruin a 20 some odd book long series, as EN! so inconspiculously, I am almost positive I spelled that wrong, pointed out. Yeah, I have a lot of side notes in the middle of sentences, they're there to justify the sentences existance, for everything is pointless without justification, thank God there's 42.
The story does a good job with character developement, except for the villian, he's so one-dimensional, he's worse than A. Square, good luck figuring out that reference. He wasn't nearly feral enough, and his intelligence seemed to wax and wane, though that does seem oddly appropriate. The wolf was a good character though, his droll personality fit very well, and I can't help but think that EN! based him off of soomeone who really existed.
Also, although this is a short read,only an hour or two, EN! definitely needs to stop worrying about how short his chapters are. In fact, the relatively short length of his chapters kept his story interesting and fast paced, the chapter structure was mildly reminiscient of Angels and Demons, which was way better than the Da Vinci code, but I'm not reviewing that now am I. At least he didn't go off on irrelevant tangents (SCORE!) like victor Hugo in Les Mis, if I could go back in time, I would throttle him for that, but I can't go back in time for time does not exist, and it would take too long to explain this, so I won't.
Now that I have shown everybody how conceited I am, everyone will realize that I do not readily compliment people, or writing, and that this work received such compliments from me is something to notice. Now THAT was conceited, like being conceited about being conceited.
So, yeah, read it, NOW!
5/16/2005 c15 Lillium
No, mommy, don't do it again, don't do it again! I'll be a goody boy, I promise! No mommy, don't hit me! -AH! Why do have to hit me like that, mommy? Don't... do it... you're hurting me - AH! Why do hafta be such a b-h? Why don't you... will you just f-k off and die, why don't you just f-k off and die? Never stick your hand in my face again b-h! F-k you! You stupid, sadistic, abusive, f-king whore! Wouldn't you like to see how it feels, mommy? Well, here it comes, get ready to die!
Er... yeah. I started singing the song, while I was reading this chapter, and I couldn't help but insert Dave's little... uhm... thing. That's the best part of the song. Even though its totally irrelevant to your story.
Great integration of Down With the Sickness into the text. You still rock!
No, mommy, don't do it again, don't do it again! I'll be a goody boy, I promise! No mommy, don't hit me! -AH! Why do have to hit me like that, mommy? Don't... do it... you're hurting me - AH! Why do hafta be such a b-h? Why don't you... will you just f-k off and die, why don't you just f-k off and die? Never stick your hand in my face again b-h! F-k you! You stupid, sadistic, abusive, f-king whore! Wouldn't you like to see how it feels, mommy? Well, here it comes, get ready to die!
Er... yeah. I started singing the song, while I was reading this chapter, and I couldn't help but insert Dave's little... uhm... thing. That's the best part of the song. Even though its totally irrelevant to your story.
Great integration of Down With the Sickness into the text. You still rock!
5/16/2005 c9 Lillium
Ouch. Silver.
Like I said in my past reviews, I'm really loving this story. You really rock my socks, Ian. And, best of all, you can actually keep me interested for more than two seconds!
But, (you knew there had to be one) two things: somewhat unimportant, but I sometimes get confused by the random changes between past and present tense; also, Adam seems so accepting of his condition... I don't really know that anyone would be so calm in saying he was a werewolf.
Elsewise, goin' good! Only Sixteen chapters left!
:hearts:
Ouch. Silver.
Like I said in my past reviews, I'm really loving this story. You really rock my socks, Ian. And, best of all, you can actually keep me interested for more than two seconds!
But, (you knew there had to be one) two things: somewhat unimportant, but I sometimes get confused by the random changes between past and present tense; also, Adam seems so accepting of his condition... I don't really know that anyone would be so calm in saying he was a werewolf.
Elsewise, goin' good! Only Sixteen chapters left!
:hearts:
5/15/2005 c2 Lillium
Ouch. That's gotta be fun. Poor Adam.
One can only guess what Grrs at dusk. XD
I'm liking this more and more, my dear. Now I must go read the rest. And perhaps only review every other chapter, when I've got something important to say. Because I'm quite tired. Damned show...
Ta for now.
Ouch. That's gotta be fun. Poor Adam.
One can only guess what Grrs at dusk. XD
I'm liking this more and more, my dear. Now I must go read the rest. And perhaps only review every other chapter, when I've got something important to say. Because I'm quite tired. Damned show...
Ta for now.
5/14/2005 c1 Lillium
Now that I've finally gotten my lazy butt online... (Yes. I'm going to read & review your chapters one-by-one. Doncha just lurve me?)
I'm intrigued by the... should I say openness? ... of the first chapter. You really don't do anything but introduce the setting and main character, which is good. But you give enough of a taste of what's coming to keep the reader (even one with a short attention span, like me) interested.
I can't wait to read the rest.
Now that I've finally gotten my lazy butt online... (Yes. I'm going to read & review your chapters one-by-one. Doncha just lurve me?)
I'm intrigued by the... should I say openness? ... of the first chapter. You really don't do anything but introduce the setting and main character, which is good. But you give enough of a taste of what's coming to keep the reader (even one with a short attention span, like me) interested.
I can't wait to read the rest.
4/17/2005 c25 MrCellophane
The beginning was kinda weird. I think I already said that though. I think the rest of the story was really great though. It was so suspenseful from Halloween on. I loved it.
The beginning was kinda weird. I think I already said that though. I think the rest of the story was really great though. It was so suspenseful from Halloween on. I loved it.
4/10/2005 c1 MrCellophane
Hello Ian. It's Kevin, in case you didn't know. I only read the first 5 chapters so far, but it seems really good so far. I did though think the beginning seemed a little... awkward. With that whole "boring, average me," it just didn't feel right. Other than that, the story is extremely good so far.
Hello Ian. It's Kevin, in case you didn't know. I only read the first 5 chapters so far, but it seems really good so far. I did though think the beginning seemed a little... awkward. With that whole "boring, average me," it just didn't feel right. Other than that, the story is extremely good so far.
10/9/2004 c1 7blue-sage-mika
Great story. I've only had time to read the first chapter right now but I can't wait to finish it. Good job on establishing the main character he realy does seem like someone who would sit next to me in math class *glances around uneasly*. Anyway can't waite to finish your story and read any others you put up.
7blue-sage-mikaGreat story. I've only had time to read the first chapter right now but I can't wait to finish it. Good job on establishing the main character he realy does seem like someone who would sit next to me in math class *glances around uneasly*. Anyway can't waite to finish your story and read any others you put up.
8/26/2004 c25 Lorna aka polly -P
Hey Ian. Cool story! I really liked it.
See ya in school.
- Lorna
Hey Ian. Cool story! I really liked it.
See ya in school.
- Lorna
8/17/2004 c1 KopakaX
Dude, I thought you said this was flawed. Are you KIDDING? This story was amazing! Every single character is awesome ('cept that wolf. Bas-d...), the plot twists are ingenius, and everything is resolved in the end.
Okay, you don't have to bother saying it, that review SUCKED. Maybe I shouldn't have attempted reviewing this HN-level material at 11:30 on a school night. Oh well, I don't even know what I'm gonna click the Submit button down there. I'll rant on some more about the greatness of this work on IM.
Dude, I thought you said this was flawed. Are you KIDDING? This story was amazing! Every single character is awesome ('cept that wolf. Bas-d...), the plot twists are ingenius, and everything is resolved in the end.
Okay, you don't have to bother saying it, that review SUCKED. Maybe I shouldn't have attempted reviewing this HN-level material at 11:30 on a school night. Oh well, I don't even know what I'm gonna click the Submit button down there. I'll rant on some more about the greatness of this work on IM.
6/16/2004 c25 xb
grand story mabey a secuill is in order maybey wit van hellsing
xander b bzp hopefull
grand story mabey a secuill is in order maybey wit van hellsing
xander b bzp hopefull