for The Four of The Great9/9/2003 c5 
8Charna
Dude (I've been saying that lately) this is getting better but still...*I'm easily distracted* getting back to what I was saying I'd like to see what would happen. But still...wanna see more!
8CharnaDude (I've been saying that lately) this is getting better but still...*I'm easily distracted* getting back to what I was saying I'd like to see what would happen. But still...wanna see more!
8/11/2003 c4 8Charna
That's nice...though I think that the girl going into the kitchen for food was a bit stupid. I really don't care though, it's nice. I wanna see more!
8CharnaThat's nice...though I think that the girl going into the kitchen for food was a bit stupid. I really don't care though, it's nice. I wanna see more!
8/10/2003 c1 Random Reader
The story is coming along. I can't wait for more. A little more detail is in order but all in all its pretty good. I really like this part ""Huh? A duck—” Bing was obviously confused" that is somthing I would do. I like that i can relate to the chracters on some level. You've got a good imagination for coming up with a story like this. Keep writing i want to read more.
Kim
The story is coming along. I can't wait for more. A little more detail is in order but all in all its pretty good. I really like this part ""Huh? A duck—” Bing was obviously confused" that is somthing I would do. I like that i can relate to the chracters on some level. You've got a good imagination for coming up with a story like this. Keep writing i want to read more.
Kim
8/10/2003 c4 kat c
wow!i'm really hooked now.what happens next?please write more!
wow!i'm really hooked now.what happens next?please write more!
8/3/2003 c3 Robin the Jarbog
I think it's better to post a little at a time. Besides, you get more reviews that way! Interesting ideas in here, but I'd like more descriptions.
I think it's better to post a little at a time. Besides, you get more reviews that way! Interesting ideas in here, but I'd like more descriptions.
8/3/2003 c2 Robin the Jarbog
Again, I think you're rushing this a bit too much. Also, I don't think you need the author notes (). You don't need to explain yourself. Your characters are developing nicely, though, so keep writing.
Again, I think you're rushing this a bit too much. Also, I don't think you need the author notes (). You don't need to explain yourself. Your characters are developing nicely, though, so keep writing.
8/2/2003 c4 12MoonDaughter17
This is pretty good so far but you need some more suspence and action. Well, update soon please.
12MoonDaughter17This is pretty good so far but you need some more suspence and action. Well, update soon please.
8/2/2003 c1 12Robin the Jarbog
I like where this is going so far! You've got an interesting plot going. I don't really think it needs the introduction bit though. People will be compelled to read more if you keep them guessing. Despite that, it's still intriguing. Keep it up.
12Robin the JarbogI like where this is going so far! You've got an interesting plot going. I don't really think it needs the introduction bit though. People will be compelled to read more if you keep them guessing. Despite that, it's still intriguing. Keep it up.
7/29/2003 c3 8Charna
Upload chapters bit by bit, I think its better that way. Though I think the(author note) things are a bit annoying and completely unnecessary. This was a chapter that could have placed the dream in a little more detail. Though it was actually a nicely written chapter to my eye.
8CharnaUpload chapters bit by bit, I think its better that way. Though I think the(author note) things are a bit annoying and completely unnecessary. This was a chapter that could have placed the dream in a little more detail. Though it was actually a nicely written chapter to my eye.
7/29/2003 c2 Charna
Did you really want to rush the meeting like this? I thought this was a bit dull, no offense, *being honest* but it has a nice dull sort of tone thing going on in my eye.
Did you really want to rush the meeting like this? I thought this was a bit dull, no offense, *being honest* but it has a nice dull sort of tone thing going on in my eye.
7/29/2003 c1 Charna
This beginning is nice, I like how you out a little of personality of different types of people you see nowadays.
This beginning is nice, I like how you out a little of personality of different types of people you see nowadays.
7/27/2003 c3 kat c
bit by bit for your question.nice story but what does the women in black have to do with this all?
bit by bit for your question.nice story but what does the women in black have to do with this all?
7/26/2003 c3 12Darkness Shadowed
So who exactly is the dark woman, and is she the same as the light woman? Or was the dark lady pretending to be the light lady and that's why she cursed?
It got a little confusing. Sorry. Anyway, I think I figured out that the girls each have a part of one of the shi'koir things.
12Darkness ShadowedSo who exactly is the dark woman, and is she the same as the light woman? Or was the dark lady pretending to be the light lady and that's why she cursed?
It got a little confusing. Sorry. Anyway, I think I figured out that the girls each have a part of one of the shi'koir things.