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7/11/2003 c1 14Tabitha Grey
First, this is a great story. I always love the evil guys who want the good girl. Secondly, thank you for reviewing my story! And are there goingt to be more chapters to this? I'd love to read them!
6/27/2003 c1 Reviewer
I heard about your story, and I enjoyed reading it. It had a lot of romance and passion. Keep going on with the story. I will wait for the next chapter...oh yeah WEEZER RULEZ!
6/24/2003 c1 16Ayameko AiKage
This story could certainly use a little more development; the way you have it now is very nice, too. I think the length is okay; it's a nice story in itself. One thing you might consider, though, is a little bit of editing. Sometimes it's confusing trying to figure out whose perspective I'm reading; one second I'm looking through the girl's eyes, and then suddenly I'm looking through the boy's eyes. Perhaps you could make it a little more definite and not switch perspectives quite so often.

The feeling of the story is wonderful, though; you've captured the anger, the shock, the panic, the confusion and the rage of emotions beautifully. Those parts where you wrote things about "unspoken messages" and that kind of thing is a little unclear; I can't tell what "unspoken messages" the two are communicating.

If you wanted to expand the story, I guess you could; it's a very nice story either way.

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