Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Welcome to Paradise

1/13/2004 c1 96Liebe Sasa
I quite like it. Somehow the description of the sheets at the end could use a bit more though, I do believe. I agree, it's better than saying something along the lines of, "and then I woke up." However, how you ended it is more... Real, than the dream, I suppose you could say. Maybe something more along the lines of, 'the grass became green fabric as...' or something like that. Seems to fit the writing style of the piece a bit better.
Yet again, I'm probably just babbeling, but I hope I'm of some assistance. I really have no clue what advantages my wandering thoughts would bring you. Anyhow, I quite liked this piece. Keep it up.
~Sasa
6/28/2003 c1 5Adam Evans
I like it Andrea! Although I agree about that ending. Can't say that I have any better ideas on how to end it though. Great job Andrea, keep up the good work!

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service