6/29/2003 c1 27Loganberry
Possibly the fact that you have no reviews for this? =;) Okay, so I'm being flippant. In any case, you do have one now.

And I think the unlikely line break between the antepenultimate and penultimate lines is what makes the poem. Of all the places you could have broken the sentence, after "to" seems one of the least likely. But that jarring note works rather well.

(On a completely unrelated note: that is one *heck* of a Furry Code phenotype section you have!)