for Storm of Dreams8/23/2003 c9 
38Fate Thirteen
This is just getting stranger and stranger... Why is Lani so important? Is she even real?
*looks confused* Hm. NExt chapter, methinks.
38Fate ThirteenThis is just getting stranger and stranger... Why is Lani so important? Is she even real?
*looks confused* Hm. NExt chapter, methinks.
8/23/2003 c7 Fate Thirteen
Er, ok. Why am I so confused? I thought Kyle was... oh no, I'm getting him mixed up with Tinker.
Lovely little bit of backstory, and now I'm a bit bemused as to who is alive and who is dead and who is haunting... I'm sure you'll sort it out eventually...
Great story, as I will probably keep saying.
Er, ok. Why am I so confused? I thought Kyle was... oh no, I'm getting him mixed up with Tinker.
Lovely little bit of backstory, and now I'm a bit bemused as to who is alive and who is dead and who is haunting... I'm sure you'll sort it out eventually...
Great story, as I will probably keep saying.
8/23/2003 c5 Fate Thirteen
I'm reviewing as I go, so bear with me.
'He glanced out his window' - sorry to be so picky, but you look out OF windows. Otherwise it doesn't make sense.
'rain that began to pattered down' - probably a typo...
'It had to have been the Thai he ate for dinner' - Heehee, love it! So real!
Fabulous chapter. It being daylight now, I can enjoy it all the more.
I'm reviewing as I go, so bear with me.
'He glanced out his window' - sorry to be so picky, but you look out OF windows. Otherwise it doesn't make sense.
'rain that began to pattered down' - probably a typo...
'It had to have been the Thai he ate for dinner' - Heehee, love it! So real!
Fabulous chapter. It being daylight now, I can enjoy it all the more.
8/22/2003 c17 18Gemema
You just love leaving us hanging, don't you? I'm DYING to know what happens!
Can I just ask your permission to print this story out and keep a copy for myself? I love it so much, and can't wait to read the rest!
18GememaYou just love leaving us hanging, don't you? I'm DYING to know what happens!
Can I just ask your permission to print this story out and keep a copy for myself? I love it so much, and can't wait to read the rest!
8/22/2003 c4 38Fate Thirteen
*hides behind chair* OK, now I'm officially freaked out and scared, and I will come back to this when it's daylight.
Very good writing, I haven't got a clue quite what's going on, but I want to know more. Expect more reviews tomorrow, and thank you for giving me something so delicious to enjoy!
Fate 13
38Fate Thirteen*hides behind chair* OK, now I'm officially freaked out and scared, and I will come back to this when it's daylight.
Very good writing, I haven't got a clue quite what's going on, but I want to know more. Expect more reviews tomorrow, and thank you for giving me something so delicious to enjoy!
Fate 13
8/22/2003 c3 Fate Thirteen
Umm, why was Kat in his house when he'd gone out? Were they living together? It's not clear.
And this necklace is either very good or very bad. I can't decide which, yet.
Another excellent chapter. I might get repetitive, soon...
Umm, why was Kat in his house when he'd gone out? Were they living together? It's not clear.
And this necklace is either very good or very bad. I can't decide which, yet.
Another excellent chapter. I might get repetitive, soon...
8/22/2003 c2 Fate Thirteen
'The yard before the Victorian home but after the black gates was in no better shape' - That's a bit of a mouthful to read. It would be simpler and more effective if it was along the lines of 'The yard between the gates and the house' or something.
Nice detail in your description, though. And the bit with the boys at the beginning was excellent - very real.
OOh, spooky graveyard voices. If this gets too scary, I can't read it until it's daylight. But it's very good.
'The yard before the Victorian home but after the black gates was in no better shape' - That's a bit of a mouthful to read. It would be simpler and more effective if it was along the lines of 'The yard between the gates and the house' or something.
Nice detail in your description, though. And the bit with the boys at the beginning was excellent - very real.
OOh, spooky graveyard voices. If this gets too scary, I can't read it until it's daylight. But it's very good.
8/22/2003 c1 Fate Thirteen
It's a nice opening - an excellent mood has been established in the first few words, which is always a good thing.
My one and only criticism is that silver doesn't rust. It tarnishes. But that's no criticism of your writing, just a picky little fact...
OK, I'm going to read the next chapter and stop rambling now. I'm glad Winged Reaper recommended you - I think I'm going to enjoy this!
It's a nice opening - an excellent mood has been established in the first few words, which is always a good thing.
My one and only criticism is that silver doesn't rust. It tarnishes. But that's no criticism of your writing, just a picky little fact...
OK, I'm going to read the next chapter and stop rambling now. I'm glad Winged Reaper recommended you - I think I'm going to enjoy this!
8/22/2003 c17 14DigiDayDreamer
Finally the pieces are coming together!
Great way to explain he bit of mystery there. Winter and Kyle, the best of friends: the strangest thing I heard in fiction so far.
But I agree with Allegretto. The transition to the explanations seems a bit bumpy. But other than that, it's really great how the plot is moving along, and characters and such great setting.
Well, until then. . .
Spell ya later!
14DigiDayDreamerFinally the pieces are coming together!
Great way to explain he bit of mystery there. Winter and Kyle, the best of friends: the strangest thing I heard in fiction so far.
But I agree with Allegretto. The transition to the explanations seems a bit bumpy. But other than that, it's really great how the plot is moving along, and characters and such great setting.
Well, until then. . .
Spell ya later!
8/22/2003 c4 3theangryfeminist
Oh, when girls talk about people, they know they have ears. They count on it. They're mean-spirited people. I hated girls, growing up. Now that I'm older I'm finding that not all of them are as nasty as they were to me when I was growing up. I like Winter. She reminds me a lot of myself when I was that age. My mom even used to lock me out of the house to force me to socialize. I'd always sneak a book along with me. Sorry for the rambling nonsense.
I think I remember hearing that if pond water is clear instead of murky, that generally means there's something wrong with it. Like it's contaminated, so fish and plants can't live in it.
She is FAR braver than I, taking off her clothes outside. I'd be far too worried about someone finding me.
Creepy over all. I'll be back soon. :)
3theangryfeministOh, when girls talk about people, they know they have ears. They count on it. They're mean-spirited people. I hated girls, growing up. Now that I'm older I'm finding that not all of them are as nasty as they were to me when I was growing up. I like Winter. She reminds me a lot of myself when I was that age. My mom even used to lock me out of the house to force me to socialize. I'd always sneak a book along with me. Sorry for the rambling nonsense.
I think I remember hearing that if pond water is clear instead of murky, that generally means there's something wrong with it. Like it's contaminated, so fish and plants can't live in it.
She is FAR braver than I, taking off her clothes outside. I'd be far too worried about someone finding me.
Creepy over all. I'll be back soon. :)
8/21/2003 c17 Allegretto
I'm sorry I haven't been saying much lately. It's just that a lot of these chapters are so short, that I can't find much to say. Of course, it's well written, and I really like the way you handle dialogue.
But you got stuff up in this chapter! It's cool how Winter's now friends with a ghost! One objection though. The transition into Kyle's explanation isn't all that smooth. That sort of thing is so difficult to perfect. But as far as I can see it, the whole discourse takes place in the entryway of the house. Just something.
But otherwise, keep updating! I can't forget that Eric guy!
I'm sorry I haven't been saying much lately. It's just that a lot of these chapters are so short, that I can't find much to say. Of course, it's well written, and I really like the way you handle dialogue.
But you got stuff up in this chapter! It's cool how Winter's now friends with a ghost! One objection though. The transition into Kyle's explanation isn't all that smooth. That sort of thing is so difficult to perfect. But as far as I can see it, the whole discourse takes place in the entryway of the house. Just something.
But otherwise, keep updating! I can't forget that Eric guy!
8/21/2003 c17 stephen
wow that explians alot
please write more
I like your writing
wow that explians alot
please write more
I like your writing
8/21/2003 c3 LOLOLOL
i read the 1st chapter and a little of the 2nd and i am astonished at how misleading the 2 chapters can be!
i read the 1st chapter and a little of the 2nd and i am astonished at how misleading the 2 chapters can be!
8/21/2003 c17 Flamehail
Hey hey, nice bit of expo about the necklace. Glad to see one of us is keeping up with her updates! Heh...
Til more (from either of us...),
Flamehail
*happy update dance*
*happy review dance*
*just happy dances in general*
Hey hey, nice bit of expo about the necklace. Glad to see one of us is keeping up with her updates! Heh...
Til more (from either of us...),
Flamehail
*happy update dance*
*happy review dance*
*just happy dances in general*
8/21/2003 c17 8swim052001
wow this plot line is getting really good and everythign is coming together very nicely. Keep up the good work!
8swim052001wow this plot line is getting really good and everythign is coming together very nicely. Keep up the good work!