for Storm of Dreams9/13/2003 c26 
36MoonLitDemon
Man, I think you had me tearing. No, just kidding.
It was a great ending. Yay! Kyle's alright! Everyone's back to normal. Tinker and Kahiki are having a child! Named... Lani/Katy/Kristen...etc...
Very nice ending, I look forward to your next story!
Much love,
MEGAN THE MOONLITDEMON
36MoonLitDemonMan, I think you had me tearing. No, just kidding.
It was a great ending. Yay! Kyle's alright! Everyone's back to normal. Tinker and Kahiki are having a child! Named... Lani/Katy/Kristen...etc...
Very nice ending, I look forward to your next story!
Much love,
MEGAN THE MOONLITDEMON
9/12/2003 c26 Allegretto
Hey, wow, you put it up fast. I missed a lot of the postings.
But hey, nice ending! Even if it did move pretty fast from around chapter 19 on. Finishing up's the hardest. Congrats on putting in a happy ending without it being corny.
One question: how did Kyle get to the cave? I thought he couldn't leave his house.
One more question: how did Lani die? I thought Tinker just gave her to the CPS. No death explained.
And don't worry about the LOTR thing. When you start out not knowing quite what you're doing, you tend to gravitate towards subconscous things...
But overall, very nice. The plot is interesting and engaging and all ties together very neatly.
Hey, wow, you put it up fast. I missed a lot of the postings.
But hey, nice ending! Even if it did move pretty fast from around chapter 19 on. Finishing up's the hardest. Congrats on putting in a happy ending without it being corny.
One question: how did Kyle get to the cave? I thought he couldn't leave his house.
One more question: how did Lani die? I thought Tinker just gave her to the CPS. No death explained.
And don't worry about the LOTR thing. When you start out not knowing quite what you're doing, you tend to gravitate towards subconscous things...
But overall, very nice. The plot is interesting and engaging and all ties together very neatly.
9/12/2003 c26 38Fate Thirteen
WELL... *sits back in awe* I'm dead impressed.
Yes, I thought it ended abruptly, and I wasn't sure who was married to whom at the end of this... But it was very nice. Very nice indeed.
I think I told you in all my previous reviews what was good and what wasn't so good. Hope I was helpful.
Good luck to you both, you wonderful writers.
FAte 13
38Fate ThirteenWELL... *sits back in awe* I'm dead impressed.
Yes, I thought it ended abruptly, and I wasn't sure who was married to whom at the end of this... But it was very nice. Very nice indeed.
I think I told you in all my previous reviews what was good and what wasn't so good. Hope I was helpful.
Good luck to you both, you wonderful writers.
FAte 13
9/12/2003 c26 15CarrieTheVampire
'ello i loved the ending! it was a well thought out story and it was very easy to get addicted to! i liked the small part about Lani, (even her death). so please don't cut her out. other wise i think the whole story was excellent!
See ya Round,
CaRRie
15CarrieTheVampire'ello i loved the ending! it was a well thought out story and it was very easy to get addicted to! i liked the small part about Lani, (even her death). so please don't cut her out. other wise i think the whole story was excellent!
See ya Round,
CaRRie
9/12/2003 c26 13Jun Ying
Oh my god! This story was planned extremely well. I could certainly jot down a few pointers from this one. I Love It!
13Jun YingOh my god! This story was planned extremely well. I could certainly jot down a few pointers from this one. I Love It!
9/11/2003 c26 18Gemema
Excellent ending! It was a bit sudden, but I'm glad everything worked out. One thing that could be elaborated on would be Kyle's eye colour change. Leaving it as it is does kinda leave us with a bit of mystery, which is great in endings. (I hate endings that explain everything!) But if you're thinking of re-doing some bits, it might be interesting to add a bit more on that. Maybe something like even though the necklace was destroyed, a piece of it will always stay with Kyle, and this piece is reflected in his eyes. I dunno, it was just a thought.
I've really enjoyed reading this story, and will be looking out for your next one. I wish you both good luck with trying to get storm of dreams published too. I hope it does eventually happen.
18GememaExcellent ending! It was a bit sudden, but I'm glad everything worked out. One thing that could be elaborated on would be Kyle's eye colour change. Leaving it as it is does kinda leave us with a bit of mystery, which is great in endings. (I hate endings that explain everything!) But if you're thinking of re-doing some bits, it might be interesting to add a bit more on that. Maybe something like even though the necklace was destroyed, a piece of it will always stay with Kyle, and this piece is reflected in his eyes. I dunno, it was just a thought.
I've really enjoyed reading this story, and will be looking out for your next one. I wish you both good luck with trying to get storm of dreams published too. I hope it does eventually happen.
9/11/2003 c26 Flamehail
It was almost over. Darn.
I dunno. Maybe a little abrupt. But everyone had the same complaints about "Mercenary," so ignore me.
One typo:
"neither knew it was possible" = "both knew it was impossible"
It's amazing how much you have improved! Congratulations!
*sniff* Huzzah for happy endings. A little odd, but happy.
I shall be sure to read your reworks. I think more needs to be spent on the end of the story and the relationships between the characters. They're GOOD characters, and it's a GOOD plot, but you started out all in-depth and then you just kinda vagued-off, if that makes sense, which it prolly doesn't. ^_^
Can't wait for your new stories!
*happy update dance*
*happy review dance*
*happy finished story dance*
Peace out!
Flamehail
It was almost over. Darn.
I dunno. Maybe a little abrupt. But everyone had the same complaints about "Mercenary," so ignore me.
One typo:
"neither knew it was possible" = "both knew it was impossible"
It's amazing how much you have improved! Congratulations!
*sniff* Huzzah for happy endings. A little odd, but happy.
I shall be sure to read your reworks. I think more needs to be spent on the end of the story and the relationships between the characters. They're GOOD characters, and it's a GOOD plot, but you started out all in-depth and then you just kinda vagued-off, if that makes sense, which it prolly doesn't. ^_^
Can't wait for your new stories!
*happy update dance*
*happy review dance*
*happy finished story dance*
Peace out!
Flamehail
9/11/2003 c25 Flamehail
Ah! It looks like it's almost over!
Ah! It looks like it's almost over!
9/11/2003 c26 52Enter The Coil
Wow that was kool! kept me hooked the entire time! WOO!
Very interesting!
~sha.
52Enter The CoilWow that was kool! kept me hooked the entire time! WOO!
Very interesting!
~sha.
9/11/2003 c26 Souless Freedom
...that was extreamly abrupt ...
...that was extreamly abrupt ...
9/11/2003 c26 8swim052001
Well congradulations on completing a very good story. Good luck on all of your other stories!
8swim052001Well congradulations on completing a very good story. Good luck on all of your other stories!
9/11/2003 c25 38Fate Thirteen
I thought it was a little mean to kill little Lani... I thought she would be more significant.
Nice plan with the whole fake family thing - very clever.
That necklace is so evil, I'm glad it's gone. Preciouss...
38Fate ThirteenI thought it was a little mean to kill little Lani... I thought she would be more significant.
Nice plan with the whole fake family thing - very clever.
That necklace is so evil, I'm glad it's gone. Preciouss...
9/11/2003 c25 36MoonLitDemon
Whoa!
Yay! Evil necklace is destroyed! They all live happily ever after... or do they?
Mwahahahaha.
Anyways, great chapter. Loved the fighting. Man, for some dillusional reason I thought that you were going to have Kahiki and Eric kiss. Whoa. Too romantic for my own good, aren't I?
Well, does that mean that this wonderful story is coming to an end?
Damn... there goes another one...
Much love,
MEGAN THE MOONLITDEMON
36MoonLitDemonWhoa!
Yay! Evil necklace is destroyed! They all live happily ever after... or do they?
Mwahahahaha.
Anyways, great chapter. Loved the fighting. Man, for some dillusional reason I thought that you were going to have Kahiki and Eric kiss. Whoa. Too romantic for my own good, aren't I?
Well, does that mean that this wonderful story is coming to an end?
Damn... there goes another one...
Much love,
MEGAN THE MOONLITDEMON
9/11/2003 c25 Mitsubishi Eclipse
Nice end for the chapter. Dead stop, cliffhanger deal. How the hell did you get so many reviews? This is a great story and I hope you keep it going for a long time.
Nice end for the chapter. Dead stop, cliffhanger deal. How the hell did you get so many reviews? This is a great story and I hope you keep it going for a long time.
9/11/2003 c19 12TheWoozler
ah, cute. I really like the flash back in this chapter, adds well to the story. *grins* I knew a relationship was ineviteable. Sorry I haven't been reading lately, but I promise I'll pick up soon. School's a real beat down right now. Well, see ya! ~ TheWoozler
12TheWoozlerah, cute. I really like the flash back in this chapter, adds well to the story. *grins* I knew a relationship was ineviteable. Sorry I haven't been reading lately, but I promise I'll pick up soon. School's a real beat down right now. Well, see ya! ~ TheWoozler