for Storm of Dreams9/3/2003 c19 
14DigiDayDreamer
Sorry for the late review, ColorCrayons!
Once again, you did well on this short chapter, Kyle longing for Winter's kiss, rather very romantic now. As for the chapter about Kahiki, it does seem rather meaningless. Are you going to include Millie in this? That's like almost a lot of characters.
I pray you will do fine in the other future chapters!
Spell ya later!
14DigiDayDreamerSorry for the late review, ColorCrayons!
Once again, you did well on this short chapter, Kyle longing for Winter's kiss, rather very romantic now. As for the chapter about Kahiki, it does seem rather meaningless. Are you going to include Millie in this? That's like almost a lot of characters.
I pray you will do fine in the other future chapters!
Spell ya later!
9/3/2003 c19 14Storysmith
Pass the tissues. *wipes tear away* talk about heart wrenching. You are one of the few people on here that I've found able to twist my emotion into such aknot it takes me the rest of the night to sort em out. very good, you should both be awarded. Great descriptions and all. Kahiki and the doll was so sweet. Well, I got 2 get ready for church. ADios!
Katt
14StorysmithPass the tissues. *wipes tear away* talk about heart wrenching. You are one of the few people on here that I've found able to twist my emotion into such aknot it takes me the rest of the night to sort em out. very good, you should both be awarded. Great descriptions and all. Kahiki and the doll was so sweet. Well, I got 2 get ready for church. ADios!
Katt
9/3/2003 c19 2Shadow Click
i'm slacking on reviewing. sigh. anyway, this is a great story, especially the way that everything's falling into place like this. so fun to read. i'm waiting for the next chapter.
2Shadow Clicki'm slacking on reviewing. sigh. anyway, this is a great story, especially the way that everything's falling into place like this. so fun to read. i'm waiting for the next chapter.
9/3/2003 c19 8swim052001
OH how cute he has feelings for her. Ahh just the right dose of romance in the morning. Good chapter short but good update soon!
8swim052001OH how cute he has feelings for her. Ahh just the right dose of romance in the morning. Good chapter short but good update soon!
9/2/2003 c10 3theangryfeminist
I'm really enjoying this, and I can't wait to see how the various characters are going to come together.
One technical grammar thing, and this is difficult to explain . . . an example might be best. "Kyle tossed an angry glare at the form that was kneeling by his gravestone, before walking back into his house, longing for his necklace." The way you phrased this, it appears that the form kneeling over his gravestone walked into the house and longed for his necklace. I know you meant Kyle, but when you write about actions, it generally points to the last person you referenced, which was the person kneeling by the gravestone. I hope that makes sense. I'm married to an english teacher, and I only just recently learned this myself. It's a good rule, though. It avoids confusion.
I like Kyle . . . I really feel for him as a character, which some authors have a hard time doing. I'll be back soon for more. :)
3theangryfeministI'm really enjoying this, and I can't wait to see how the various characters are going to come together.
One technical grammar thing, and this is difficult to explain . . . an example might be best. "Kyle tossed an angry glare at the form that was kneeling by his gravestone, before walking back into his house, longing for his necklace." The way you phrased this, it appears that the form kneeling over his gravestone walked into the house and longed for his necklace. I know you meant Kyle, but when you write about actions, it generally points to the last person you referenced, which was the person kneeling by the gravestone. I hope that makes sense. I'm married to an english teacher, and I only just recently learned this myself. It's a good rule, though. It avoids confusion.
I like Kyle . . . I really feel for him as a character, which some authors have a hard time doing. I'll be back soon for more. :)
8/31/2003 c18 13Vitamin Kitten
I know I haven't read and reviewed in like, forever, but I haven't forgotten about you. These chapters keep getting better and better and I'm looking forward to more. And . . . maybe . . . even though you're finished writing it and stuffs . . . maybe Lani could come back? She was so uber cute! But other than that, this is getting to be really good. Keep goin', Muffin!
13Vitamin KittenI know I haven't read and reviewed in like, forever, but I haven't forgotten about you. These chapters keep getting better and better and I'm looking forward to more. And . . . maybe . . . even though you're finished writing it and stuffs . . . maybe Lani could come back? She was so uber cute! But other than that, this is getting to be really good. Keep goin', Muffin!
8/27/2003 c18 2Kell Hound
heh heh this chapter is funny. i hope milli says yes. can't wait to see what happens next
2Kell Houndheh heh this chapter is funny. i hope milli says yes. can't wait to see what happens next
8/27/2003 c6 3theangryfeminist
This makes me really curious now about what really happened to Kyle and his sister. Poor guy. And now I'm worried about Tinker, that you're putting him on a similar path. I'm not sure what it is, but I really like Tinker. And Winter, since I find myself relating to her a great deal.
I actually think this story flows a little more smoothly than your other one, but I'm really enjoying both of them. I'll be back soon.
3theangryfeministThis makes me really curious now about what really happened to Kyle and his sister. Poor guy. And now I'm worried about Tinker, that you're putting him on a similar path. I'm not sure what it is, but I really like Tinker. And Winter, since I find myself relating to her a great deal.
I actually think this story flows a little more smoothly than your other one, but I'm really enjoying both of them. I'll be back soon.
8/26/2003 c18 12TheWoozler
lol... still waiting for more. Good chapter... ^.~ *I'd comment more, but too tired.. *bleh* going to school at five in the morning no good for people*
12TheWoozlerlol... still waiting for more. Good chapter... ^.~ *I'd comment more, but too tired.. *bleh* going to school at five in the morning no good for people*
8/26/2003 c17 TheWoozler
Ahh! poor Kyle! The symbolism/motif of the storms is awesome, but I'm not sure if you're supposed to announce things like that, y'know? Most people have to interpret it from the story... but hey, your story, not mine, but either way it's cool
Ahh! poor Kyle! The symbolism/motif of the storms is awesome, but I'm not sure if you're supposed to announce things like that, y'know? Most people have to interpret it from the story... but hey, your story, not mine, but either way it's cool
8/26/2003 c16 TheWoozler
Ahh. This chapter is good for two reasons: One, it lets the reader see how the necklace effected him in contrast to the previous chapters where Kyle and his sister are close. Two, it's emotional... aww... *sniffle* keep up the good work!
Ahh. This chapter is good for two reasons: One, it lets the reader see how the necklace effected him in contrast to the previous chapters where Kyle and his sister are close. Two, it's emotional... aww... *sniffle* keep up the good work!
8/26/2003 c18 Flamehail
Aww, that was cute. Cliched, maybe, but cute. ^_^
No real crits, except your dashes aren't coming out, but that's the computer's fault, not yours. Good job!
That sounds like a good goal, one chapter a day. Good luck with it!
Waiting for more,
Flamehail
Aww, that was cute. Cliched, maybe, but cute. ^_^
No real crits, except your dashes aren't coming out, but that's the computer's fault, not yours. Good job!
That sounds like a good goal, one chapter a day. Good luck with it!
Waiting for more,
Flamehail
8/26/2003 c18 38Fate Thirteen
Hmm, definitely a bit of a something and nothing chapter. I'm intrigued as to how Eric fits in to all this.
When did Kahiki meet Tinker? Or am I being really thick and I've missed something...
*goes back to read it again* I will get my head around this if it kills me. I _will_ understand the story!
38Fate ThirteenHmm, definitely a bit of a something and nothing chapter. I'm intrigued as to how Eric fits in to all this.
When did Kahiki meet Tinker? Or am I being really thick and I've missed something...
*goes back to read it again* I will get my head around this if it kills me. I _will_ understand the story!
8/26/2003 c18 18Gemema
Agh! I was so hoping to hear more about Kyle and the necklace! Glad to hear you'll be posting one entry per day, the suspence is killing me! Good chapter though, even if it was a bit short. Looking forward to the rest!
18GememaAgh! I was so hoping to hear more about Kyle and the necklace! Glad to hear you'll be posting one entry per day, the suspence is killing me! Good chapter though, even if it was a bit short. Looking forward to the rest!
8/25/2003 c18 Megan
GREAT CHAPTER!
Oh, it was fine. I know you just wouldn't post a chapter for no apparent, pointless reason.
Besides, it was nice and well written. You can almost feel the weight lifting off your own shoulders.
Much love,
MEGAN THE MOONLITDEMON
GREAT CHAPTER!
Oh, it was fine. I know you just wouldn't post a chapter for no apparent, pointless reason.
Besides, it was nice and well written. You can almost feel the weight lifting off your own shoulders.
Much love,
MEGAN THE MOONLITDEMON