for The Cliche'12/28/2012 c5 
9AKhwab
Oh man. Alec's so mean :( I know he isn't. Just trying to act like it. Waiting to read more!
9AKhwabOh man. Alec's so mean :( I know he isn't. Just trying to act like it. Waiting to read more!
12/28/2012 c4 AKhwab
Hey can you indicate when there's a change in POV? Sometimes the change is so fast that it's hard to settle down & think like the character. By the way, I like your plot.
Hey can you indicate when there's a change in POV? Sometimes the change is so fast that it's hard to settle down & think like the character. By the way, I like your plot.
3/18/2006 c4 Insomniac
Hm... cute, typical teenage story that everyone can understand and maybe relate to (I can relate to it mildly, I just haven't been found in the same bed as him! =D). I like the way that you switch between characters to tell the tale.
However, the paragraphing could be better. It strains my eyes! =S Lol. And one more thing, even though this is a bit more personal. I don't like the whole using lyrics for chapters thing, especially not from Avril Lavigne (spelling?).
But, apart from that, great story! =D And you better update soon or I'll send a mob of hungry badgers after you! ARGH! And you won't like that will you? WILL YOU? *Ahem* Sorry, too much sugar...
Anyways, that's me done...
.:~*]Insomniac[*~:.
Hm... cute, typical teenage story that everyone can understand and maybe relate to (I can relate to it mildly, I just haven't been found in the same bed as him! =D). I like the way that you switch between characters to tell the tale.
However, the paragraphing could be better. It strains my eyes! =S Lol. And one more thing, even though this is a bit more personal. I don't like the whole using lyrics for chapters thing, especially not from Avril Lavigne (spelling?).
But, apart from that, great story! =D And you better update soon or I'll send a mob of hungry badgers after you! ARGH! And you won't like that will you? WILL YOU? *Ahem* Sorry, too much sugar...
Anyways, that's me done...
.:~*]Insomniac[*~:.
12/20/2004 c4 Kaia Carroll
Its a really good story, but you need to tell us which pov your using for each story because it can get a little confusing. Other than that, it's awesome!
Its a really good story, but you need to tell us which pov your using for each story because it can get a little confusing. Other than that, it's awesome!
9/11/2004 c4 57JC-Saved-Me
LOL! I love this story! you HAVE to continue it! it's gr8 and so funny. I like the idea of having different characters telling the story in each chapter.
*~Rachel~*
57JC-Saved-MeLOL! I love this story! you HAVE to continue it! it's gr8 and so funny. I like the idea of having different characters telling the story in each chapter.
*~Rachel~*
7/22/2004 c1 8Enlightened One
Why haven;t you updated yet?
PLEASE UPDATE! PLZ! My life may depend on it. Well, not really, but you get the idea.
UPDATE!
8Enlightened OneWhy haven;t you updated yet?
PLEASE UPDATE! PLZ! My life may depend on it. Well, not really, but you get the idea.
UPDATE!
7/14/2004 c4 Enlightened One
You must update soon, and then update again SOONER! Please! I
m dying of suspense! THis is such a good story!
Update!UPDATE!
You must update soon, and then update again SOONER! Please! I
m dying of suspense! THis is such a good story!
Update!UPDATE!
2/21/2004 c4 20Ashes of Marie
Cute, a typical teenage story of childhood romance. Though, I suggest that you don't group everything together. Dialogue should be separate from the actions and one another.
i.e.
"You wanna talk about soap operas?" He had questioned.
In response, a shoe came flying at his head, a crash sounding out behind him as Alec began to laugh.
"I don't have a soap opera," Alec responded.
That kind of thing. Using a proper format like that would make things easier on the reader and more like a story.
20Ashes of MarieCute, a typical teenage story of childhood romance. Though, I suggest that you don't group everything together. Dialogue should be separate from the actions and one another.
i.e.
"You wanna talk about soap operas?" He had questioned.
In response, a shoe came flying at his head, a crash sounding out behind him as Alec began to laugh.
"I don't have a soap opera," Alec responded.
That kind of thing. Using a proper format like that would make things easier on the reader and more like a story.
2/18/2004 c4 The punk girl
Hey i love ur story
update soon
Hey i love ur story
update soon
1/10/2004 c4 2Lady Sunlight
Paragraphing!
Use it!
Jeeze now my eyes hurt.
Get your own ideas then stealing songs by posers!
2Lady SunlightParagraphing!
Use it!
Jeeze now my eyes hurt.
Get your own ideas then stealing songs by posers!
1/7/2004 c1 24echoes of chaos
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. break that into some paragraphs, this whole jumble is a little too run-on to read. The plot and characters sound decent, but format this in a way that's more readable.
24echoes of chaoswhoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. break that into some paragraphs, this whole jumble is a little too run-on to read. The plot and characters sound decent, but format this in a way that's more readable.