Just In
for High Top Freckled Face Girl

12/15/2005 c1 1GardenOfEden
wow. It is erotic without being blatant and boring. The language is beautiful but it isn't over garnished with useless words.and might I say-I love love love the rythem. simply amazing.
3/19/2005 c1 AlexanderX
DAMN! I liked this right here, I understood it more since I read the story I'm suspecting that its refering to. Man.. I cant even explain how much I liked it.. Nice writing keep writing
10/27/2004 c1 shelby
damn. nice piece. really nice. totally captivated me. if i had three thumbs i'd give you three thumbs up :D
7/20/2004 c1 3I am no longer writing
::is silent::
wow... amazing.. lovely work.. beautiful..
7/11/2004 c1 41Jezebel Malice
wow... that was.. it was beautiful.
4/19/2004 c1 4slashysecrets
Wow... It's been a long time since I read a free verse this long and enjoyed it. Very nice.
2/22/2004 c1 Egads
::noise of awe::
I wouldn't double dot that, but if i onomatopoeia'ed it, it would come out "Oergawnistification," and that doesn't carry the sentiment too well.
I read this after reading Defenses, which I can't find words for. So I'll try anyway: whistful/longing/bitter/sweet/angsty/beautiful. ( Not Bittersweet, because it is both, but not at the same time.) Needless to say, it is my favourite Mira, ever. EVER.
the subject of the poem is one i identify with effortlessly, as her emotions, dress sense and inability to control her flailing limbs resembles me so well, she could be my clone; but more importantly her emotions and low self esteem could have been pulled from my own mind with pliars, i recognise them so well.
The style, emotions and the overall tone leaves this a permenant favourite for me. You (and I apologise for this) roXXOrs.
And being bisexual is tough, I know. Well, half know. So I can identify with what you're feeling. It's different for everyone, I guess, but in my experience, never listen to anyone, ever. You'll get used to it. :D
2/8/2004 c1 stephanie
brittany, you are awesome! i loved it! i only wish i could write like that. it really spoke to me, moved me. i love you, you're so great...until next time
2/6/2004 c1 Nikisha
10/31/2003 c1 Someone
Jesus! That was, no is, totally fucking amazing. No joke at all. There is a lot of pretentious or poorly written bullshit out there that masquerades as poetry, but this...this is the real deal. I am not lying or trying to inflate your ego when I say that this displays very real, very amazing talent. I know that the praise of a random stranger probably means little, but whatever you do in life, please keep writing.
9/12/2003 c1 57tofujunky
Incredibly well-written. Sensual and graghic but in such good taste (decent manner). I really like your writing style, it flows beautifully.
8/19/2003 c1 19Behind the Curtain
much confusion here
8/3/2003 c1 2TonyStephen
I definitely like your writing style. Your poem penetrates below the surface and lingers. That's cool and it's a talent I don't possess.

It was a little hard to follow at times. That's not necessarily a problem because it sometimes adds to the aforementioned effect. However, there were times when I wanted more clarity. Like this part:

Drive through the dark pouring nights

that follow your abandonment

and scream at me from my yard

but never at the door

What was his abandonment? Did he abandon you (the writer) or did you abandon him?

Also this part in the beginning:

Slam the phone and count the days

to your missing pretty boy

Count the days to what, exactly? Count the days since he's been missing? Count the days until you see him again?

I think some punctuation would help clarify your meaning in some sections.

I really liked the rythm you establish in the poem. I could hear it as a hip hop song or something Patti Smith (one of my favs) would sing/speak.

I like the recurring image of the hips swaying, e.g., your heart swaying to his boyish charm and the image of his hips swaying while you go down on him (at least that's the meaning I took-could be my own fellatio-focused mind ;O).

I also loved the line, "Sadistic hunger in pushing need." Wow. Double meaning of the hunger within the need that pushes forward and the pushing of the pelvis forward during intercourse or fellatio. Then you follow it with the term, "knocking" which initially brought to mind the old saying "knocking boots" and then it's also knocking over things.

I wasn't quite sure what you meant by "And I'm loving over minute." Did you mean, "I'm loving every minute?" It wouldn't seem so but the word "over" didn't make sense. Maybe I'm being dense and am missing something obvious,

lol, it wouldn't be the first time!

I'm assuming the last stanza is about you with another girl (again, I can miss obvious things so hit me upside the head if I'm totally off base). I loved the last three lines. Very nice effect, especially "the door shuts soft behind you." I found myself almost shouting out loud, "Yeah! Stay with her, stay with her. Fuck the creep!" (not literally of course, he deserves to be struck with severe premature ejaculation and constant humiliation).

I don't know how much of your poem is autobiographical, but if it is, it sounds like you've begun to be true to yourself. You are much too talented, sensitve, and, I bet, sensuous and sexy to feel compelled to go out with guys like the total jerk depicted in your poem. If I was straight you're the kind of girl I would fall for in a heart beat! :O)

I hope you don't mind my direct feeback/critiques. I only take this much time offering feedback to someone who I think is really good. I think you're a better poet than am I (is it "I" or "me" in a sentence like that-fuck, I always get that confused). Sorry about the digression. You are very talented. I've added you to my Alert and Fav lists.


7/22/2003 c1 18harmonybunny
This absolutely took my breath away...everything about it was unbelievable...must..read..again :D
7/22/2003 c1 5Mia Serene
Not a bit graphic, my dear, just graphic. But in a comfortable, remote kind of way. So, this is *wow* I can't write like this, so I'm naturally jealous. But it is actually good. Expressive, descriptive...it plays like a story, like a movie in my head, in that it just flows along at a...natural pace. It never seems contrived, like you had to work at it; just simple, free-flowing expression. Good stuff. Your warning scared me, and I didn't read it on first click. Now I'm glad I did, because it's good poetry. Congrats on that :)
19 Page 1 2 Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service