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5/31/2011 c2 Gigi
When you have only two characters in a certain situation, I don't see why you keep referring to their names all the time.

Eg:- "Elizabeth looked at Brian with her large green eyes.

Brian stared into Elizabeth's green eyes."

You don't need to use their names. Use "he" and "she" and read the difference it makes.
5/29/2008 c1 2chittychatty14
oh mirime!

your story has really disturbed me a lot...at first i thought the story involved was between a gal nd her cousin...nd dat is OK to sum extent (im not sayin tht it is gud...bt yeah to capture the interests of the readers well...its fine)

But this turned out to b a relationship with soblingxsibling...

Did u have any experience like tht or what...Are you mentally disturbed?

Although i really appreciate ur writing skills nd all tht...

its gr8...

bt u could hve atleast cme up with a cousinxcousin relationship instead...cause u see this story can offend a lot of people...it has even offended me...

You should seriously try some idea or the other...

maybe perhaps a best friend would also b a fine idea...

I really have no words to say after i read ur story,I actually felt disgusting...gross actually...

I mean ur story actually involves a brother and a sister here...who r sexually attracted to each other...You are actually insulting to the pure and the beautiful relationship of a brother and a sister(this appliers to u also).

Do you actually think like this about ur brother..Is that is what ur trying to convey? ur thought? on this story?..I hope not...

.I mean I myslef actually feel ashamed now..cause uve written the story in such a way!(its offensive mind u very offensive)...

Sorry i never meant to offend u or anything...but i simply had to submit a review on ur story...

Ur a wonderful writer...think of somethin else to write...Im sure u hve a fertile imagination!...But i hope it does come to this extent...

Happy Writin nd best of luck!

6/2/2005 c7 babee - - balla
kewl storeedifferent from wut i wuld usually readupdate soon(i wanna c the "tonight" part)im such a pervanyways update or i'll hunt u down and strangle u 2 death! muahahahaha fear me pathertic humans! (jks)
6/2/2005 c7 59Sacred-Phoenix-Nephthys
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG...U MUST update now...this is really good, oh u gotta update, i wanna no wot happens next. Please update soon. This is awesome ^_^
6/2/2005 c6 Sacred-Phoenix-Nephthys
Wow...different, this is really good, and i am wondering wot will happen now. I love this. It is great. Onto the next chapter...
6/2/2005 c5 Sacred-Phoenix-Nephthys
Hehe...Melissa reminds me of a few people i know. This is good, i can see it in my mind...wait that could be a bad thing...oh well, great chapter, u r a great writer.
6/2/2005 c3 Sacred-Phoenix-Nephthys
Short, but really good. Shall read more now. Keep it up ^_^
5/31/2005 c2 Sacred-Phoenix-Nephthys
I am liking this...incense...hehe...you're a good author and i can't wait 2 read more...keep up the work...
5/31/2005 c1 Sacred-Phoenix-Nephthys
Good opening chapter, ur use of words is well done. I can't wait to read more.R&R mi stuff and i'll do the same.
5/28/2005 c7 Ruby-Wonder
5/18/2005 c7 eeyore-iman
hey that was both werid and cool please submit soon
5/14/2005 c7 StarryEyedAmie
I realy like this please update!
4/5/2005 c7 Moop1
wow lol you must be gud you managed to glue me to the story in the first chapter *cheers* that doesn't happen often lol i like your story you kind of expect to find it grose but you get glued to it. Your characters are well developed although i would like to know why Liz and Brian suddenly had a change of heart. You better write more or i will just cry coz that cliffhanger is soo bad lolbex x
4/4/2005 c7 1AmyBabe
Wow, very confusing for them. That would feel so weird. Well written. AmyBabe
2/11/2005 c7 ItalianQT
Uh oh! Brian and Liz are gonna get themselves in trouble! Update soon! : )
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