for Ricochet8/12/2003 c2 Emberlye
Hey everyone. Sorry for such bad grammar mistakes in this chapter. I was rushed. So, please don't sit through and count out everything. I'm slready working on it. Thanks.
~Emberlye
Hey everyone. Sorry for such bad grammar mistakes in this chapter. I was rushed. So, please don't sit through and count out everything. I'm slready working on it. Thanks.
~Emberlye
8/9/2003 c2 
6Belle the Shadow-Cat
Whhaha i'm back!
Drav: You go on vacation next week though
I know . . . hopefully i'll have Spirit Guardian's (SG) finished before then. thanks for letting me use the picture of Andorell. Hey, thanks for the picture you and your dog (well have of your dog anyway) look really cute.
And Digi got his computer fixed *cheers*
Oh, this was an interesting twist Emberlye, having Nicki star in this also. THis should be interesting. And Carrie's mother is whacko! Just so you know.
-Belle
6Belle the Shadow-CatWhhaha i'm back!
Drav: You go on vacation next week though
I know . . . hopefully i'll have Spirit Guardian's (SG) finished before then. thanks for letting me use the picture of Andorell. Hey, thanks for the picture you and your dog (well have of your dog anyway) look really cute.
And Digi got his computer fixed *cheers*
Oh, this was an interesting twist Emberlye, having Nicki star in this also. THis should be interesting. And Carrie's mother is whacko! Just so you know.
-Belle
7/30/2003 c1 Tangle Elftree
Yo, Cool StorY!
R u gonna continue?
I hope so! ^^
Um, also, about the character... It means submit a character for the writing, like ... I dunno how to explain. It's not like your and Nickel City's story, Dragon Warz, it's more like a submit a character to use story.
Gomen if that causes too many difficulties or inconveniences.
Plz let me kno if I can still use your character. I would appreciate it if I could use her! Arigato!
Ya, well, plz let me kno!
Yo, Cool StorY!
R u gonna continue?
I hope so! ^^
Um, also, about the character... It means submit a character for the writing, like ... I dunno how to explain. It's not like your and Nickel City's story, Dragon Warz, it's more like a submit a character to use story.
Gomen if that causes too many difficulties or inconveniences.
Plz let me kno if I can still use your character. I would appreciate it if I could use her! Arigato!
Ya, well, plz let me kno!
7/29/2003 c1 Kynria
Congrats Ember! you've got a really good story going here.
Mondaiz: i agree. The silver fox thing was cool!
Keep up the wonderful job! and post soon!
Morgan and Mondaiz
Congrats Ember! you've got a really good story going here.
Mondaiz: i agree. The silver fox thing was cool!
Keep up the wonderful job! and post soon!
Morgan and Mondaiz
7/24/2003 c1 8Kezkay
Hello Emberlye! Nickel City reviewed my fic and told me to come here! I luvs it when people give me authors of good stories! Anyways, a lovely beginning! I think you could use just a tad bit more description of your characters though. For example, just how BIG is Emberlye in relation to Carrie? Or, the description of the forest they are in? Temperate? Tropical? I first envisioned oak and maples etc, but then you mentioned monkeys and it kind of warped to include ficus and fig... I know, I know...I'm picky, and you can totally schmack me later :)
I really liked how you first described Ember, there was some INCREDIBLE imagery and personification, "The slick blackness, seeming metallic, of the dragon's scales shimmered in the fading light of the sky." This sentence was my fav, though I think it needs to be put in a slightly more coherent manner. ex, "The slick blackness of the dragon's scales shimmered metallicly in the fading light of the sky"? Also, though this is just total personal preference, maybe personalize your witches? It makes a story more original to create your own kind of witch/warlock/wizard sects. For example, maybe they wear something other than a black, pointy hat? That image tends to be generic and makes me think of Kiki's Delivery Service, hehe. Other than some random grammatical errors, that's all for me! :) I hope you continue more, -Kez
8KezkayHello Emberlye! Nickel City reviewed my fic and told me to come here! I luvs it when people give me authors of good stories! Anyways, a lovely beginning! I think you could use just a tad bit more description of your characters though. For example, just how BIG is Emberlye in relation to Carrie? Or, the description of the forest they are in? Temperate? Tropical? I first envisioned oak and maples etc, but then you mentioned monkeys and it kind of warped to include ficus and fig... I know, I know...I'm picky, and you can totally schmack me later :)
I really liked how you first described Ember, there was some INCREDIBLE imagery and personification, "The slick blackness, seeming metallic, of the dragon's scales shimmered in the fading light of the sky." This sentence was my fav, though I think it needs to be put in a slightly more coherent manner. ex, "The slick blackness of the dragon's scales shimmered metallicly in the fading light of the sky"? Also, though this is just total personal preference, maybe personalize your witches? It makes a story more original to create your own kind of witch/warlock/wizard sects. For example, maybe they wear something other than a black, pointy hat? That image tends to be generic and makes me think of Kiki's Delivery Service, hehe. Other than some random grammatical errors, that's all for me! :) I hope you continue more, -Kez
7/23/2003 c1 Zelle again
Hey! This is me again...I just wanted to ask permission to post a poem I wrote based on the first few paragraphs of this story. I fyou want, I can send it to you to look at first, just email me or something telling me your answer. Thanks! And, again, good work on your first story! May the inspiration and writing keep on flowing!
Hey! This is me again...I just wanted to ask permission to post a poem I wrote based on the first few paragraphs of this story. I fyou want, I can send it to you to look at first, just email me or something telling me your answer. Thanks! And, again, good work on your first story! May the inspiration and writing keep on flowing!
7/22/2003 c1 39zelle
ek! So sorry I was so long in getting back to you! Blame it entirely on my stupid computer. Hasn't been working for me the last few days...*glares at aforementioned computer*...but I am back! And feel honored, yours was the first story I read. ^_-
Hm...interesting...witch and dragon, you say? Now I'm going to leave a nice and long review since this is your first story. Now, from the beginning! ^_^
OOh...nice scene-setter...kind of sinister, gave me the impression that this was some kind of evil dragon-beast we were dealing with...and inspired a poem! Which I might or might not post.
You know, this witch character is rather funny ^_^. When she was talking to Emberlye, I kept getting this mental image of some therapist in a suit and glasses resolving his issues or something...was funny. It made me giggle ^_^
*blinks*...*chuckles* stupid little monkeys...would have been fun to see Ember roast them on a shishkabob stick over an open fire...but that would be a tad morbid, be? ^_^
hmm...is the witch's name Mina or Carrie? I think you called her Mina earlier and then changed her name to Carrie...just an observation.
haha! I think its so funny that witches catch colds around humans. Human-allergy methinks? ^_-
oh...hey, the molding/shape-shifting thing was cool! Really original, I don't think I've ever seen that before...
Nice work! Other than the name-change, the only other thing I could see wring with it was a punctuation grammar here and there. "I'm not, rejected, in my group because of any color I am but..." No biggie.
Now all the good points about your work ^_^. The characters are cute and really original. The withc-therapist especially makes me giggle. So is the plot (or what I've seen of it so far). I don't think the witch-dragon combo is used very often and you put it together into a story that's serious, but has a funny side that keeps it from being dull or depressing.
In other words, congratulations on yoru successful first entry on fp.net, and may your inspiration produce more entertaining literature for us to read ^_^. Also, thanks for reviewing my *couch*crap!*cough* poem. It's nice to know I was able to give you that feeling and I was extremely flattered! ^_^. Now watch me get all big and pretentious.
And *gasp*...DigiDayDreamer was...a guy?
...
oops. *blushes*...hope I, er, didn't refer to him in any...female-er-terms...
eh-heh. ^_^;;
39zelleek! So sorry I was so long in getting back to you! Blame it entirely on my stupid computer. Hasn't been working for me the last few days...*glares at aforementioned computer*...but I am back! And feel honored, yours was the first story I read. ^_-
Hm...interesting...witch and dragon, you say? Now I'm going to leave a nice and long review since this is your first story. Now, from the beginning! ^_^
OOh...nice scene-setter...kind of sinister, gave me the impression that this was some kind of evil dragon-beast we were dealing with...and inspired a poem! Which I might or might not post.
You know, this witch character is rather funny ^_^. When she was talking to Emberlye, I kept getting this mental image of some therapist in a suit and glasses resolving his issues or something...was funny. It made me giggle ^_^
*blinks*...*chuckles* stupid little monkeys...would have been fun to see Ember roast them on a shishkabob stick over an open fire...but that would be a tad morbid, be? ^_^
hmm...is the witch's name Mina or Carrie? I think you called her Mina earlier and then changed her name to Carrie...just an observation.
haha! I think its so funny that witches catch colds around humans. Human-allergy methinks? ^_-
oh...hey, the molding/shape-shifting thing was cool! Really original, I don't think I've ever seen that before...
Nice work! Other than the name-change, the only other thing I could see wring with it was a punctuation grammar here and there. "I'm not, rejected, in my group because of any color I am but..." No biggie.
Now all the good points about your work ^_^. The characters are cute and really original. The withc-therapist especially makes me giggle. So is the plot (or what I've seen of it so far). I don't think the witch-dragon combo is used very often and you put it together into a story that's serious, but has a funny side that keeps it from being dull or depressing.
In other words, congratulations on yoru successful first entry on fp.net, and may your inspiration produce more entertaining literature for us to read ^_^. Also, thanks for reviewing my *couch*crap!*cough* poem. It's nice to know I was able to give you that feeling and I was extremely flattered! ^_^. Now watch me get all big and pretentious.
And *gasp*...DigiDayDreamer was...a guy?
...
oops. *blushes*...hope I, er, didn't refer to him in any...female-er-terms...
eh-heh. ^_^;;
7/21/2003 c1 14DigiDayDreamer
Sigh, sorry for the late review! I was going to do it yesterday, but Nogar didn't want to login.
Nogar: I said I didn't want to write. I'm a muse, not a writer.
Oh, come on. You know you want to.
Nogar: No, I don't! You're just saying that.
Anyway, great story, Ember. Somehow, your story resemble Nicki's story: The Unforgotten Cloud.
Nogar: Yes, it does. Very much.
Yep. And Ember's only 11? Hmm, I see you're using the old witches-and-dragons plot, with a twist. It's cool she could transform into anything, though I was expecting her to turn into a dragon. Oh well. Glad you enjoyed my chapter, Nicki! You'd be pretty surprised who's the dragonist is in the next chapter.
Nogar: Who?
Hmm, I'm not gonna say.
Nogar:. . .
And funny intermission with Nickel City.
Well, I gotta work on the 3rd chapter of TAS.
Spell ya later!
14DigiDayDreamerSigh, sorry for the late review! I was going to do it yesterday, but Nogar didn't want to login.
Nogar: I said I didn't want to write. I'm a muse, not a writer.
Oh, come on. You know you want to.
Nogar: No, I don't! You're just saying that.
Anyway, great story, Ember. Somehow, your story resemble Nicki's story: The Unforgotten Cloud.
Nogar: Yes, it does. Very much.
Yep. And Ember's only 11? Hmm, I see you're using the old witches-and-dragons plot, with a twist. It's cool she could transform into anything, though I was expecting her to turn into a dragon. Oh well. Glad you enjoyed my chapter, Nicki! You'd be pretty surprised who's the dragonist is in the next chapter.
Nogar: Who?
Hmm, I'm not gonna say.
Nogar:. . .
And funny intermission with Nickel City.
Well, I gotta work on the 3rd chapter of TAS.
Spell ya later!
7/20/2003 c1 6Belle the Shadow-Cat
Drav: Nice job Ember, your first story eh? Well done. I should've known it'd be about yourself.
Belle: Drav!
Drav: Nothing, nothing, i thought Nickel City would be in here too, because we would like to know how you two met. Like a prequel to Dragon Warz.
BElle: Well, that would be interesting. Anyways i just finished reading Digi's second chapter . .I loved it, Didn't you.
Drav: I did
Belle: I know you did, i meant Nickel City and Ember
Drav: oh.
Belle: Hope we meet up in Digi's next chapter, once i starting reading i noticed that we looked a lot alike. Like twins almost, except the age, one year older then you.
Drav: So . . . Good job on the story, the Silver Fox idea was cool. Look for the new chapter of TSTOF tommorow. To celebrate your new story and Digi's new chapter
-Belle
6Belle the Shadow-CatDrav: Nice job Ember, your first story eh? Well done. I should've known it'd be about yourself.
Belle: Drav!
Drav: Nothing, nothing, i thought Nickel City would be in here too, because we would like to know how you two met. Like a prequel to Dragon Warz.
BElle: Well, that would be interesting. Anyways i just finished reading Digi's second chapter . .I loved it, Didn't you.
Drav: I did
Belle: I know you did, i meant Nickel City and Ember
Drav: oh.
Belle: Hope we meet up in Digi's next chapter, once i starting reading i noticed that we looked a lot alike. Like twins almost, except the age, one year older then you.
Drav: So . . . Good job on the story, the Silver Fox idea was cool. Look for the new chapter of TSTOF tommorow. To celebrate your new story and Digi's new chapter
-Belle
7/20/2003 c1 8urlastchance27
lol, thank you for reviewing my column =P. I just got done reading all of this and it was very interesting.
But. Yes the dreaded word "but".
But, I was wandering why is the dragon scared of humans? Also, in the beggining of the story you used the same words over and over, and that causes confusion.
Well I hope I craved your addiction for reviews for a while and good luck I look forward to the next chapter!
8urlastchance27lol, thank you for reviewing my column =P. I just got done reading all of this and it was very interesting.
But. Yes the dreaded word "but".
But, I was wandering why is the dragon scared of humans? Also, in the beggining of the story you used the same words over and over, and that causes confusion.
Well I hope I craved your addiction for reviews for a while and good luck I look forward to the next chapter!
7/20/2003 c1 TemporaryEternity
Wow!
Cool story!
Continue soon plz.
I'll be waiting via author alert!
Also, I wish I was like Carrie...
She's so cool!
Wow!
Cool story!
Continue soon plz.
I'll be waiting via author alert!
Also, I wish I was like Carrie...
She's so cool!