Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Destiny

7/25/2003 c4 2ZoieLark
It sounds like a huge RPG game. But knowing you and RPG's...hehehehe

Anyway, nice chapter as well. I really liked the semi-cliff hanger thing in the last chapter. Thanks for putting up more description sentences. It really helps in me picturing the scenery and the people.

Oh, as for corrections, there's a few spelling errors. Try to check it next time. That's really my only complaint, but don't mind it. Even the best of writers still have a few spelling errors.

Till the next chapter!
7/25/2003 c2 ZoieLark
Wow, that was was even better!

Oh, do me a favor next time, try and add more descriptions and stuff. You have a great story so far!
7/25/2003 c4 1secretstar
it's good again, but...

Nai stared at him, shocked. ‘I thought I could trust him!’ To her surprise, her burst out in laughter.

shouldn't it be "she burst out in laughter"?...you still have a good story :D
7/25/2003 c3 6Avid Writer
Great story, great plot. You might want to make the spacing a little thinner, though, because it was kind of distracting. I noticed that you spelled straight strait a couple times. I also would like to know what her surroundings look like in the story. Keep up the good work.
7/25/2003 c3 1secretstar
this story still has yummy goodness! :D
7/24/2003 c1 2ZoieLark
Very very nice. I would've liked a little more background on Sean and Nai, but this was good nonetheless. A far different turn from your usual happy go "lucky" stories with. I hope you continue sometime SOON! Put strong emphasis on SOON.
7/23/2003 c1 1secretstar
h0y ish ur cozin...well newayz...I LOVE THIS STORY! WRITE MORE! it's very/really good...it's soo good i'm putting it in my favorites list on my msn favorites :D
37 « Prev Page 1 .. 3

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service