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for Hell's Mistress

1/27/2004 c18 26Jitterrue
absolutely gorgeous. Nice imagery, great flow and rythm, nice sound. I love the last line. great.
1/27/2004 c5 74wonky donkey
This was such a good chapter,installment thingy. "Small as thumbnails large as lies, watching her with death-smeared eyes." - Awesome!
1/27/2004 c2 wonky donkey
Hey hey hey! I havent checked you out in so long. this is such a great poem you have done. I dont know how you can continue a story that rhymes so well and still continues on with a story line. I cant wait to read more.
Cheers!
1/27/2004 c18 Carolina.Scribe
Wow, she becomes Hatred's Queen, huh? That is very cool.
I love the rhyme scheme that you have developed. It has a nice flow and it really makes the poem good.
So is this the end or what? Sure sounds like it. ^_^
1/27/2004 c18 90SweetGrape
Still in shock over her death(?), everything's eerie and not quite quiet. Like an concert/speech nigh audience whispering when something seems off or the speaker's being odd. (Ack- dunno how that popped in my head!)
'a breeze of dragon's breath'- with magical properties? hope so.. it's certainly a contrast to the 'chill and black'- it gives you shivers just thinking about the breath floating through you.
'a mockery of life'- harsh!
'New nerves cut through her'- she's transformed into sometihng much sharper and scarier- because before, she still always seemed human and now she seems colder and steely.
'Hatred's rightful Queen'- have to agree with that statement- exciting development!
1/25/2004 c1 55Lellida
So beautiful, and so dark. I love the rhythm of it all. It's a very nice poem. Good job.
1/12/2004 c17 90SweetGrape
NOO! That can't be right- there ahs to be another twist to this!
He was dying, fading, she'd won... and then 'watch a hand materialize'- !
She might not care, but I do! Intersting sidenote taht her heart is still red.
Maybe she's just becoming something else, it can't be true death...
Great descriptions- I love when you use the surrounding ghosts and things to show how dramatic the situation is -'the undead gasp and choke'.
'Raw ice throughout her veins'- big contrast to all of the fire before, maybe hell's having a makeover;)
This was certainly a twist...
1/11/2004 c17 39Dahlia Wolffe
i know it isn't the end, but for now it is the last chapter. i shall keep up with this tale. i really like it. but one thing i noticed was that people weren't supposed to actually die in hell cuz thier soul can't die... but what am i saying? i haven't written anything like this so i should just shutup. *x shaped electric tape on mouth, struggles to project for last sentence* really nice though.
_angel
1/11/2004 c4 Dahlia Wolffe
I'm really getting into this. your poetry and story mix is like, so mesmersing. Wow! i love this! r/r me somtime if you can, for now i shall notinue to read.
_angel
1/7/2004 c3 127godawful teen-angst poetry
Lovely, as always. For some reason the last two lines, with the color dripping, gave me this really sick, ominous feeling...which really says alot about your skill as a poet, because usually I'm not fazed by dripping paint. Quite the interesting collection you've got here...
~lyv
1/7/2004 c17 1Jimmy Jazz
No! I can't wait! What happens next?
1/6/2004 c17 14Dirty Wallpaper
*has goofy smile on face*
yay! update...oh god, the joy is all to much...my severe twitching can now come to an end!
alas, my joy did not last though...i actually had tears in my eyes by the end...im not really sure why, maybe the fact that she might actually be dead? this hard as nails chica dead? *sigh* no hope! no hope i say! though very creative, i must admit, i was not expecting it and cannot even predict what might happen next...i thought it may actually be the final poem, but it isnt...*does secret happy dance*...but i expect she comes back? moving...lol, im starting to see it more as an engrossing story than a poetry series.
right, im not really sure i had a fav line in this chapter...its more of the ideas which are getting to me rather than the imagery and such.
"In death collapses to the ground."
the phrasing, and the timing was perfect.
ahh, happy day. anyways, FANTABULOUS...ill wait in desperation for the next few chaps! KUDOS!~
P:S - im being to think i hvae offended my muse in some way...hehe...scandals in ze air...*stops singing*
ah well, good luck with the disgusting schedule and the new year of course! remember, im here if you need any help :).
1/5/2004 c17 64not sure yet
o, now that was seriously creepy...BUT GOOD! (i smell like hell right now..ANYWAYZ (dontask)) very gruesome and dark and for some odd reason a marilyn manson type song seemed like it was in the background..very odd, but i love it lots..some parts almost seem to be in slow motion, muchly fascinating how language works and the things they can set up..lots of implied imagery in this one, esp since i had this realy vivid image of like a red but frozen heart, hard as a rock yet wet falling out of her chest, i have a real weird image of what this woman looks like too..and her clothes, why i keep on thinking theyre perfect even though..yea, o well, muchly enjoyed this, and gave a long rambling pointless review just to say, LOVE IT, AWESOME JOB!
1/5/2004 c17 47Anjeni Windsinger
Phew, I thought you weren't going to finish this! I'm so happy now. Anyways, this one is my new favorite out of them all. The imagery just blew me away, especially the part where her heart is being cut out. My favorite line was 'Her heart had failed her long ago.' When I read that I sat up straight and froze. As always, I can't wait for the next chapter ^_^
1/3/2004 c16 53Lidless Eye
Very neat... The last two lines were good ending lines, wraps up this chapter (or whatever it is, heheh) quite well. Keep on writing, this is great!
~Lidless Eye
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