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11/26/2008 c17 2AlijaS117
amazing story I'm just sad that it hasn't been uploaded in a while.
7/10/2004 c15 Snarks
Heh. I love Rine. And Felldeten has a way of surprising people, doesn't he?
I realize that in all of my reviews, I haven't been doing much in the way of structure reviews. Well, I honestly can't think of anything in that sense that needs fixing. Your grammar is impeccable and the pacing is well played out.
The only thing that I've noticed is that sometimes setting is pushed aside. There is detail here and there, but it tends to be very sparse. Not saying that it's a bad thing, mind you. Just thought I'd through that out.
Regardless, I love this piece. And it's good to be back at fictionpress. I may have a new fic - not a repost, imagine that - in a few days. You never can tell with me. *snerks*
7/10/2004 c14 Wootang
Hm . . . tension increasing. Nice. I'm looking forward to how you'll play out he war council. Knowing you, it too will be frought with tension. It'll be interesting to see how Felldeten handles such things.
Onward and upward!
7/10/2004 c13 Wootang
Fellisyen is certainly an interesting character. It's fitting that he's both suspicious and annoyed by the sudden seclusion in the nursery. And who wouldn't despise being locked up in a *nursery.*
Great addition. On to the next one!
7/9/2004 c15 16Jasper Riddle
Very nice! I like this; I even waited till I had read both stories to review. (Gah, that only makes sense to me...)
The charas are very nice. I'm particularly curious about Rine... *threatens with mallet "Update soon!"*
Hm...the heir (can't remember his name...) is one of the charas that I'm beginning to dislike a little. I mean, he's such an ARROGANT little kid! Someone needs to give him a smart slap upside the head!
Keep writing and update soon! ^-^ \V/
7/8/2004 c13 Seina
Jeez, Fellisyen is really arrogant about being just a couple of minutes older than Matthias, isn't he? He thinks he's above everyone! And you have one typo thing going on in here. Capitol/capital. I'm really not sure how you're supposed to spell it, but you've had both spellings in your story. ~Lady Merlin
7/8/2004 c12 Seina
Why did Serg all of the sudden get all sharp and everything, calling Rine "Mage" like he was belittling her? Hm? More trouble? ~Lady Merlin
7/8/2004 c11 Seina
Ooh. Fellisyen is going to be a TERRIBLE king. No emotion and beatings. And killing his own brother, the adorable little Matthias! *shudder* That is definetly not good. ~Lady Merlin
7/8/2004 c10 Seina
Ha! I was right! If that chapter was fun to write, it was fun to read, too. And that's interesting, about the plainscats hunting outside of their territory. Yes, I am dying to know about Rine. Dying, dying, dying. She knows something about those cats, doesn't she? One more thing, that has nothing to do with this chapter: I think you should kill the queen. She'd be the prime character to kill, and Felldeten shouldn't have gotten married anyway. Especially not to her. You still have that evil little heir to the throne for a bad guy, so it'd be safe to kill the queen. And it'd be a very happy day for the random peasants... ~Lady Merlin
7/8/2004 c9 Seina
You really like making trouble, don't you? Now we've got some crazy cats on our hands. Crazy cats that will be attacking the camp tonight, right? ~sigh~ Someone's going to die pretty soon with all of this insanity going on. ~Lady Merlin
7/8/2004 c8 Seina
Uh-oh. This chapter introduced loads more trouble. Soman is looking like he might turn towards the evil side, and I get the feeling that the Queen is planning something, no? Hm. ~Lady Merlin
7/8/2004 c7 Seina
O-o-oh...secrets, huh? What's going on with Rine? She's definetly got something going on behind those pretty little eyes of hers. I'm starting to get curious now. ~Lady Merlin
7/8/2004 c6 Seina
I seriously think you should kill Fellisyen. A nice, gory death...but then where would the plot go? ~sigh~ terrible things, those evil people. I guess you've always got to have bad guys. ~Lady Merlin
7/8/2004 c5 Seina
I think Matthias is my favorite of the children. He's so sweet and honest! ~Lady Merlin
7/8/2004 c4 Seina
I love all of the kids! Except Lisyen. He's...um...a noble. A very bad noble. But you did write him well. Even if he is...ahem...evil. Why do I get the feeling there's going to be some trouble concerning him? Hm...? ~Lady Merlin
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