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for Pitty me for I pitty you

8/8/2003 c1 14Storysmith
very good. You might want to run it through a spell checker. like pitty is actually pity and just a few other things like that. But, watch for that and you'll be fine. I love the fee style form. Really makes it seem more like a story than a poem, but as a story, I just wouldn't be the smae. as a poem, it seems more poetic. Wow. I'm making a whole lot of sense now. Bye.

Katt
8/4/2003 c1 4ColorCrayons
this was really really good, i like the thought and start of it. personally, i would call it something like "Pitty" or "Pitty Changes Course" or something. only because at the start you talk about pitty because of the homeless thingy then at the end "you're" kind of pittying them because they will never feel what "you" do. i have never been one much for titling so, whatever.

anyway, this was pretty interesting. an odd but intriguing start. nothing like long car drives to give u ideas, eh?

~color outside the lines~

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