Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Paper Plane

8/6/2003 c1 53Lidless Eye
Not bad at all! It's really interesting when people write like this... as in, a metaphorical sense. Really cool, keep it up!
8/6/2003 c1 MoonlightRegret
Ah...

Wow! I loved this, firstly because the metaphor used was fantastic and then secondly because the ending came as a huge surprise. After the first stanza where you said you never expected to fly again, I thought the last stanza would have you flying. But no! You completely surprised me. Which is great! I Loved Loved Loved Loved it!
8/5/2003 c1 58Sage Valkisco
^.^ I liked that alot...I like the style...Its really cool... I like the way u used the paper airplane...
8/5/2003 c1 4Elidor
That is a facinating analogy. The wording was wonderful. Wonderful!
8/5/2003 c1 33black pixie
wow awesome
8/5/2003 c1 47i was a postcard
eek. hello. that's me. wow. that reminds me of my style too...strange metaphors...anyways, this whole thing was awesome. the way your worded things...very good.

there were two typos ("I fended of the flying foes" and "But though it all I stood firm.") and one other thing. all of your imagery was genius. but the line "Then the raging inferno of hate" sort of...i don't know. it didn't seem to fit. it seemed like a rather unoriginal way of putting it, and judging from the rest of your brilliant imageries, i think you can do better. just a little constructive criticism. :) that's what we're here for isn't it?

overall, this rocked. it's going on my favorites list. go you!
8/5/2003 c1 11TomAfton
The extended metaphor worked very nicely. Keep up the good work.
8/5/2003 c1 Mikala2
I think this poem is very good. You have excellent word choices and your descriptivness allows for some really good imagery for the reader. I thought it was incredibly well written.. you set up a really nice rhythme and a lot of the words complimented eachother, which made it a good poem to read. As far as the concept goes~I thought it was brilliant. The metaphor of the plane and everything was very very clever. So, I loved the concept and theme that went along with that~ How, people become so hurt that it's hard for them to love again(at least... that's what I got from the poem) Great Job!
8/5/2003 c1 1Kyna Isis
Interesting concept, i like this analogy. although i believe it could use a bit more imagery to really captivate the reader!
8/5/2003 c1 35Krikoris
I noticed as well that this is not usually your style, but it was still a great poem. I've never thought to compare myself to such an object, mostly because I despise them.

I too loved the ending.

Krikoris
8/5/2003 c1 612simpleplan13
Thanks for the review... That's a relaly great poem i love the whole metaphor thing (which i suck at)... I like the ending because you expect it be happy but it isn't!
8/5/2003 c1 Letters2God
Beautifully written
27 « Prev Page 1 2

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service