
1/20/2004 c1
53Impressionist
somewhat...I mean really cliche. I don't know why I have such a problem with that kind of poem, but I do. OR maybe I have a problem with stereotyping. anyway.
I'd encourage you to try this poem again without rhyming, and see how much farther you can get with it. Rhyming can be so restricting that you lose the essence of what you're trying to say.
and yeah. not bad!

somewhat...I mean really cliche. I don't know why I have such a problem with that kind of poem, but I do. OR maybe I have a problem with stereotyping. anyway.
I'd encourage you to try this poem again without rhyming, and see how much farther you can get with it. Rhyming can be so restricting that you lose the essence of what you're trying to say.
and yeah. not bad!
1/10/2004 c1
19Celia Rose
Nice. Like thi stanza:
"Surely dead of abandonment
Or love so pure
It would shatter my heart
In a single life-long beat"
It doesn't flow with the rest, but it' worth to say. ;)

Nice. Like thi stanza:
"Surely dead of abandonment
Or love so pure
It would shatter my heart
In a single life-long beat"
It doesn't flow with the rest, but it' worth to say. ;)
12/4/2003 c1
12Kep Trefler
Nice poem, sort of makes you think things over, I really enjoyed reading it.
-Kep Trefler

Nice poem, sort of makes you think things over, I really enjoyed reading it.
-Kep Trefler
8/14/2003 c1
281Devil6667
this is a really good short poem. i like how you express yourself in this. i appreciate your review for rage of a nation.

this is a really good short poem. i like how you express yourself in this. i appreciate your review for rage of a nation.
8/12/2003 c1
612simpleplan13
Sad but an excellent poem... a tad confusing though i cant really figure out what your talking about

Sad but an excellent poem... a tad confusing though i cant really figure out what your talking about
8/7/2003 c1
191Trinity Joselyn Carter
dang... seriously... sounds like the person in the poem has been through alot of pain.. wow... true emotion :'( *tear*

dang... seriously... sounds like the person in the poem has been through alot of pain.. wow... true emotion :'( *tear*
8/7/2003 c1 sinfool
It's so sweet~
It's so sweet~
8/6/2003 c1
20midnights shadow
I keep trying to get what I want to say out and it's not working. I liked the poem. I like that it is not all angst and cry and whine. Would have liked it even more if the last stanza fit better with what came before, it seemed...different.

I keep trying to get what I want to say out and it's not working. I liked the poem. I like that it is not all angst and cry and whine. Would have liked it even more if the last stanza fit better with what came before, it seemed...different.
8/6/2003 c1 deletedaccount902902
It's actually very good. I was expecting it to be okay, at best. But I'm impressed. Kudos.
It's actually very good. I was expecting it to be okay, at best. But I'm impressed. Kudos.
8/6/2003 c1
5pessimistic romanticist
i like it but the endindg dosnt fit with the flow still good ON ANOTHER NOTE HAVE YOU BY ANYHANCE HAD PROBLEMS WITH THE DOCUMENT MANERGER BECAUSE I HAVE TRYED TO UPLOAD STUFF BUT IT WONT WORK IM NOT SURE IF ITS ONLY ME IF IT IS MABY THERES A PROBLEM WIT THE COMPUTER IF NOT THEN I THINK ITS THE WEBSITE please email me if you can help because i really want to update my stories
thanx-BBS

i like it but the endindg dosnt fit with the flow still good ON ANOTHER NOTE HAVE YOU BY ANYHANCE HAD PROBLEMS WITH THE DOCUMENT MANERGER BECAUSE I HAVE TRYED TO UPLOAD STUFF BUT IT WONT WORK IM NOT SURE IF ITS ONLY ME IF IT IS MABY THERES A PROBLEM WIT THE COMPUTER IF NOT THEN I THINK ITS THE WEBSITE please email me if you can help because i really want to update my stories
thanx-BBS