for Suicide's Summer5/30/2007 c13 
5The Green Crow
Still pretty good. But a story can't depend on drama alone. you need more conflict in this. you know that other link i sent you? there's a conflict one somewhere there too. Conflict is good. I know you already have lots between the charaacters, but i think you should have something BIGGER, ya know?
anyways, this is going rele good. good luck!
The Green Crow
5The Green CrowStill pretty good. But a story can't depend on drama alone. you need more conflict in this. you know that other link i sent you? there's a conflict one somewhere there too. Conflict is good. I know you already have lots between the charaacters, but i think you should have something BIGGER, ya know?
anyways, this is going rele good. good luck!
The Green Crow
5/30/2007 c2 The Green Crow
Hey this is pretty good! I really like the premise, just one thing though: characters are more then one adjective. They're gonna seem really really flat if you can do that, just apply one adjective to them. Think of ppl you know: can you do label them as neatly as you labels these people?
Read through that article, it shouldnt take long and itll help you alot.
Anyways, thanks alot for writing this, its really great and its really entertaining so far.
The Green Crow
Hey this is pretty good! I really like the premise, just one thing though: characters are more then one adjective. They're gonna seem really really flat if you can do that, just apply one adjective to them. Think of ppl you know: can you do label them as neatly as you labels these people?
Read through that article, it shouldnt take long and itll help you alot.
Anyways, thanks alot for writing this, its really great and its really entertaining so far.
The Green Crow
5/25/2007 c14 Hidden Flowers
I would have smacked him right back! Aughh! Cna't they get along? Update soon!
I would have smacked him right back! Aughh! Cna't they get along? Update soon!
5/25/2007 c13 Hidden Flowers
I meant Ryan in my last review, but if another one of them is a decent cook, I'll marry that one!
I meant Ryan in my last review, but if another one of them is a decent cook, I'll marry that one!
5/25/2007 c11 Hidden Flowers
I like it. This chapter shows thar she's not just a depressed thing. She's real person, with feelings, a little more sensitive than others, but yeah,
I like it. This chapter shows thar she's not just a depressed thing. She's real person, with feelings, a little more sensitive than others, but yeah,
5/25/2007 c9 Hidden Flowers
I would be a hermit if I had to be there for even five minutes. I'd probably like Bella or Owen best.
I would be a hermit if I had to be there for even five minutes. I'd probably like Bella or Owen best.
6/15/2006 c15 bansira
The story is so great! I love how each character has it's own detailed personality!
I guess I love all the characters... I can't really decide which one the most, though xD... probably Trent.
Your story is really awesome, the idea is pretty good! Keep it up!
The story is so great! I love how each character has it's own detailed personality!
I guess I love all the characters... I can't really decide which one the most, though xD... probably Trent.
Your story is really awesome, the idea is pretty good! Keep it up!
5/18/2005 c15 brokensilverheart
hey! why'd you stp writing? This story is hilarious. that's a compliment. some stories that say they are hilarious aren't as funny as yours! And i'm seriuos! haha. well pease write more!
hey! why'd you stp writing? This story is hilarious. that's a compliment. some stories that say they are hilarious aren't as funny as yours! And i'm seriuos! haha. well pease write more!
4/11/2005 c15 C. Regeling
Sapphire and Trent are the two i like best both have some realy hard-to-deal-with problems so i feel for them, but Owen is pretty cool too, i dont like the gotta-be-the-happy-one thing..meh..
Ryan's funny, but ges a bit of a perv. and the other 2 chicas, i dont like em, dont ask coz i dunno i just dont.
Update Soon.
Jorja : )
Sapphire and Trent are the two i like best both have some realy hard-to-deal-with problems so i feel for them, but Owen is pretty cool too, i dont like the gotta-be-the-happy-one thing..meh..
Ryan's funny, but ges a bit of a perv. and the other 2 chicas, i dont like em, dont ask coz i dunno i just dont.
Update Soon.
Jorja : )
1/11/2005 c10 13Twizzlers
Well, I don't think it's starting to get majorly sucky at all. I like it. And I really like Owen. Though, I'm kind of dissapointed that Ryan's a man whore. lol. I like Bella the best out of the girls, becuase I think I can identify most easily with her. This reminds me of the Breakfast Club. I love that movie to pieces.
13TwizzlersWell, I don't think it's starting to get majorly sucky at all. I like it. And I really like Owen. Though, I'm kind of dissapointed that Ryan's a man whore. lol. I like Bella the best out of the girls, becuase I think I can identify most easily with her. This reminds me of the Breakfast Club. I love that movie to pieces.
1/11/2005 c9 Twizzlers
I'm starting to like Trent a lot. He's so ... interesting. I love the end of this chapter. "God, I hate unison." That was hilarious.
I'm starting to like Trent a lot. He's so ... interesting. I love the end of this chapter. "God, I hate unison." That was hilarious.
1/11/2005 c3 Twizzlers
Wow. Definitely looking forward to reading this. I love it already. And I have to admit, I get addicted to reality tv, like the Real World, so easily. So, I think this story will be a good one.
Wow. Definitely looking forward to reading this. I love it already. And I have to admit, I get addicted to reality tv, like the Real World, so easily. So, I think this story will be a good one.