Just In
for Jack

6/9/2005 c8 Your Greatest Fan
i love it and im so glad i found it please update soon!
6/8/2005 c8 13Virgo Child
It's great to see that you've updated this because you have such a neat premise here. I like the twist you've taken with the imaginary friend sort of coming to life, and it's interesting. My only criticisms are some character confusion (mostly because I can't remember who's related to whom and what all these people are doing) and near the end of the chapter it looks like there is some story missing. Right after Nicole asks Alex about the book Elise gave him, Alex's mother shows up from out of nowhere apologizing for giving Nicole short notice. I didn't even realize what they were going on about until Angela finds out she won the Senate seat, and next thing you know, Nicole is declaring to Alex, who wasn't supposed to be there, that she's going to bed. I don't know if there's any missing narrative in between these two parts, but if there isn't, I think you need to better differentiate them by putting in a page break or something. This may be just me, but I think it's strange that Nicole doesn't ever ask Alex what he's doing or where he's going when he cancels on her or alludes to "previous engagements". Personally, I would be a little peeved if my best friend started blowing me off all the time without telling me why, and it doesn't say much for Nicole's character if she doesn't care enough about her best friend's weird behavior to inquire about it. It's one thing if he gets defensive and fails to tell her why he's doing the things he's doing - and it's one way to keep Nicole and the reading audience in the dark, which is probably your intention all along - but it's another for her to randomly think, "Gee, I think something's up with Alex and he's blowing me off a lot. Oh well," and to forget about it. It doesn't ring very true to me, and I'm sure that's not what you intended to do. I know I certainly have a lot of questions for the Alex character, and it's frustrating for me as a reader to not have some of the answers that I would think Nicole would want, too. There's a lot of mystery and foreshadowing going on here - almost too much. There isn't much in the way of narrative advancement here other than introducing Emilie and having Mike and Nicole interact with each other, which is also a little bit frustrating. I'm still very interested to see how everything pans out in future chapters, and don't be afraid to take as much time as you need to write them. It's great to see you back, and I hope you continue with the good work. :)
6/8/2005 c1 Lydia
Aww...I absolutely loved this chapter! Their relationship is awesome. Hehe i'm just gonna leave this short review cause I wanna carry on with the rest of the story. Luvin it ;)
6/6/2005 c8 murphy1086
Hmm. Weird. But good. Update soon
6/6/2005 c8 2Naomi Schemer
Well...that took a while to update. I would have never know you updated, I just checked an author's favorite list, and by accident noticed that you updated. I wonder if I get to see any more of her going to the mental institution. I really liked that chapter.
6/6/2005 c8 k8t
YAY! you finally updated...big grin... i am fully enjoying this and i can hardly wait for you to continue...ciao k8t
6/5/2005 c8 1pen-ink
Alrighty, made it all the way through! A couple of things:

1. It may be my attention span, but I've kind of lost track of who's related to whom-you may try to make that a little clearer2. In this chapter, you mention her having a dog when she was little, but int the prologue you said she could only have a fish as a pet3. I was confused in the dream sequence when a character-I thought it was Jack-was talking about moving? What it supposed to be her talking?

Anyway, I'm still enjoying it! I would like to encourage you to post what you have finished! I think it's cute how you have the Mike character helping random people, like "Jack" had. Let me guess that Alex's Anna is the cause of his lateness?

CONTINUE! ~penink
6/5/2005 c3 pen-ink
Aww! What a nice friend. This is progressing nicely! Um, once you repeated a sentence about rich people. Nothing major, I'm sure you'll see it when you edit through!

That's all the constructive thoughts I have... ~penink
6/5/2005 c2 pen-ink
Ohh, the suspense! Is it Jack? (Well, I suppose it is, from your summary.) Um, I'm a little confused if she's trying to be a medical doctor or a psychiatrist? Also, maybe you could mention her loving to write in the prologue? I think you just said something about being an actrist, but it seemed kind of like a joke...?

Anyway, I'm loving it! Onto the fav list we go...
6/5/2005 c1 pen-ink

I just found this story and it's very sweet! Your characters are very 3D, which is nice to find! You had a few typos in here, but nothing major. I was a little startled when you jumped in time, but I can see that it was her looking back. So, great start!

6/4/2005 c8 Suze
Amazing story.

I really can't wait to see what happens. It's a shame you can't update more often, but it's nice that you make it up with extra long chapters. :)

Just wanted to know if Nicole is really studying psychology or psychiatry. It jumps around a lot.

And then there are the few typos here and there I need to mention. Not so much that it's distracting or anything.

Keep those chapters coming. This is one of those original plots that I find most gripping and not too plain.

6/4/2005 c8 2gum is yum
Ok, I have a theory. You know how both are called by their middle names and yet Nicole always called him Jack and he always called her Jessica? Well MAYBE Nicole was HIS "imaginary friend" or whatever when HE was growing up, and that's why he "froze and did a quick double take, his jaw dropping slightly" when he saw her by the limo. LoL.

I mean, there HAS to be a reason for that. And if you think about it, my theory sort of makes sense in a messed up sort of way. He probably also figured that she may have looked like Jessica, but she was a different person. Plus there was all that stuff about her soul mate and finding "him" in the future, so that is sort of another back-up point. I kind of makes sense...

Anyway, I LOVE this story and I can't wait to find out the truth. :o) Update soon!
6/4/2005 c8 1Madcow13
I loved the new chapter and I'm glad you've updated. I can't wait to find out the whole Jack/Michael mystery. I like Emilie and hope this isn't the last we see of her. I like the developing relationship between Nicole and Michael as well. You've potrayed all the reactions realistically. I honestly cannot even start to figure out how you plan to tie this together, or if you even plan to (please don't leave it on a she never finds out or I'll probably tear out all my hair in frusration) but I'm sure it will be good.
6/3/2005 c8 7tickle-me-pretty15
Long time no see, im so glade you back. Well till next time.

6/3/2005 c8 SemiTurtle
I want to be on the email list. Add me on please...pretty please? Update soon please (I kind of lost track of what happened and now I might just have to go back and reread; but that's fine since it's such a great story ^_^)
491 « Prev Page 1 .. 4 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 24 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service