for Mall Goth8/13/2011 c3 
4Red Midnight
I'm digging this piece, and it does have a lot of potential. Then again, I see that you haven't worked on it in years, or at least haven't posted anything on it. Your characters are established, and they seem as if they could definitely go somewhere. The only thing I really see, more than anything, are the mechanics. If you would like, I could work with you on this. That is, if you are interested in re-upping this project. All in all, though, I found this project because I was looking for stuff on one of my favorite subjects, the Goth scene. I would also recommend putting in some stuff about Goth music, or at least what makes this person a "Mall Goth," which is normally a dirty connotation for a poser.
4Red MidnightI'm digging this piece, and it does have a lot of potential. Then again, I see that you haven't worked on it in years, or at least haven't posted anything on it. Your characters are established, and they seem as if they could definitely go somewhere. The only thing I really see, more than anything, are the mechanics. If you would like, I could work with you on this. That is, if you are interested in re-upping this project. All in all, though, I found this project because I was looking for stuff on one of my favorite subjects, the Goth scene. I would also recommend putting in some stuff about Goth music, or at least what makes this person a "Mall Goth," which is normally a dirty connotation for a poser.
3/8/2009 c3 Alexa Jayy
It's good but you really really need to edit first and make sure you aren't missing words. I makes it hard to read. It's good so keep going. But please please please edit next time.
It's good but you really really need to edit first and make sure you aren't missing words. I makes it hard to read. It's good so keep going. But please please please edit next time.
11/26/2003 c3 sugaricing
you know, i would help you if my FRICKIN EMAIL WAS WORKING! A*pant*AH!
all done. well, i g2g, and this is a cool story. i shall email you when my email is better.
icing :P
you know, i would help you if my FRICKIN EMAIL WAS WORKING! A*pant*AH!
all done. well, i g2g, and this is a cool story. i shall email you when my email is better.
icing :P
11/23/2003 c3 Ryanne Moonit
Awesome story, keep writing! I can't wait for more chapters! I love your style of writing.
-Ryanne Moonit
PS: i was too lazy to sign in, but if you're interested, thats my penname
Awesome story, keep writing! I can't wait for more chapters! I love your style of writing.
-Ryanne Moonit
PS: i was too lazy to sign in, but if you're interested, thats my penname
8/23/2003 c3 11DreamNightmare
don't worry ms. lady gerbil hehe i love that name...neways i'll help u if u want...i'll send u an email w/ my ideas later
DreamNightmare
11DreamNightmaredon't worry ms. lady gerbil hehe i love that name...neways i'll help u if u want...i'll send u an email w/ my ideas later
DreamNightmare
8/23/2003 c3 Kristina Toffland
I think your story is still good! so have more confidence girl! i'll try and help if i can! but greatjob, lata, Kris
I think your story is still good! so have more confidence girl! i'll try and help if i can! but greatjob, lata, Kris
8/19/2003 c2 7silver coins
keep on going! i cant wait to see what happens! and i cant wait to meet the person (girl?) who watches Kristen draw...
7silver coinskeep on going! i cant wait to see what happens! and i cant wait to meet the person (girl?) who watches Kristen draw...
8/19/2003 c2 Kristina Toffland
Damn, that was short, but okay, keep going, lataz, Kris. p.s. please come and check out my work
Damn, that was short, but okay, keep going, lataz, Kris. p.s. please come and check out my work
8/18/2003 c1 Nat
...a bit of direction would do this story good...other wise i guess its ok
eh ne ways
~Nat The Unchanging Darkness~
...a bit of direction would do this story good...other wise i guess its ok
eh ne ways
~Nat The Unchanging Darkness~
8/18/2003 c1 Kristina Toffland
A bit confusing right now so i need an update! thanks! great job though! and please come and review something of mine! thanks, lataz, Kris
A bit confusing right now so i need an update! thanks! great job though! and please come and review something of mine! thanks, lataz, Kris
8/18/2003 c1 6Lady Gerbil
I'll be making this chapter longer,so if your complaint is on the length,check back later.This was just to feel out if the story could even be done.
6Lady GerbilI'll be making this chapter longer,so if your complaint is on the length,check back later.This was just to feel out if the story could even be done.