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for Crumbling Foundations

2/4/2004 c1 9sheza
all of ur work is fantastic, its amazing...i'm speechless!
10/27/2003 c1 41Razor Sharp Kisses
I don't find this to be horrid at all. In fact, I think it's quite beautiful, just like all of your work.

In my mind, I saw a woman who has no love for herself, and thus sells her body. It seems as if she is wasting away because she isn't doing anything constructive or meaningful. The men do as they please, and although it hurts her and she knows it's wrong, she continues to let them have their way. And because this has been going on for so long, she's beginning to feel like she is nothing, like she is wasting away. At least that's what I got from it.

Very good, as usual. :)
10/23/2003 c1 whyt forest
that's definately not horrid. it was beautiful in an extremely tragic way. the imagery of the building is very real but the feelings of the undertones makes the reader sympathise and empathise. i don't know why but i feel like crying after reading that...but then maybe i do know why.

~whyt forest~
10/10/2003 c1 KayWest not signed in right now
Remember me? :D Yes, I'm back, and here to review more of your fabulous work. I swear, you never cease to amaze me. This is brilliant! You are such a fantastic writer.. don't forget that! This is a very strong piece, I though, and I really enjoyed it. That about sums up all I can think to say. Drop me an email sometime!
10/7/2003 c1 69the cereal killer
I think the sexual bit comes off more on the word use. (: But it's pretty clever.. You'd never.. expect it.

Gosh I sure hope I'll be half as good as you by the time I hit 15.
10/2/2003 c1 2Hypersensitive
Wow, I loved the rhyming in the end and it was such a sad ending. Very nice though, and I think I got the sexual undertones. You are really really very good. I don't have anything else to say but wow.
9/30/2003 c1 132mizu no kokoro
goods anyway. not at all bad^^
9/5/2003 c1 Winter's Roar
haha yeah, there were some undertons in that. Still, another interesting read. Again, marvelous images "bleeds rust" *sighs* such wonderful words! Hats off on another excellent poem!

~ winter
8/31/2003 c1 8Teresz
very interesting...deep. You're 14 you said? wow, impressive work. I suppose you're in GT or honors...work like this for your age is not common. (I'm 14 too, I know hehe) nice. I shallgo read more.
8/28/2003 c1 17fontanellemonster
hey, i just came over to say thank you very very much for the review you left me. giving good reviews is an art. i suck at it and you don't, but hey, i try.

hm, and hand on heart, this is a really good piece of poetry. it's very visual and...breathless, is how i would describe it. i loved the second line. it was just...great.

ah i told you i suck. i won't embarrass myself any longer.
8/27/2003 c1 64not sure yet
interesting, i like it, i saw some things as sexual and some as not, i dont know, but i think that everything has sex behind it cause im sick, but anywayz, muchly like it, not bad at all, nicely done
8/27/2003 c1 38Shattered Snow
this is not a horrid peie of poetry, in fact it's quite the opposite. it's deep, so you have to do more than glance at it to get an understanding. i do hope you keep posting because it's a pleasure to read someone as talented as yourself.
8/26/2003 c1 12Sugar On The Asphalt
Oh, yes, they were sexual.

But beautiful, and tragically done in ways that churn the stomach. Bravo.


(thanks for the bio mention; you're a star).
8/26/2003 c1 191Trinity Joselyn Carter
wow that was good
8/26/2003 c1 Identitycrisis
Fictionpress is acting up again. I can't seem to login.

Anyway, this piece was cool. All the little hints you dropped along the way. And when you said sexual, all the images came in. Cool work, its unique and sorta seductive. I liked it.
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