for Waiting9/23/2003 c1 
2AedhgsH
That is so good. The ending is, well not perfect(hey, I'm a romantic), but still, perfect for angst.
2AedhgsHThat is so good. The ending is, well not perfect(hey, I'm a romantic), but still, perfect for angst.
9/3/2003 c1 40AvaRicE
...amazing!
This is written brilliantly; the rhyming, the way it flows so perfectly.
And the topic... so sorrowful.
A drink to drown your despair.
40AvaRicE...amazing!
This is written brilliantly; the rhyming, the way it flows so perfectly.
And the topic... so sorrowful.
A drink to drown your despair.
9/3/2003 c1 8glitterjewele
this is almost chilling, it's so good. the rhythm was out of this world (yet again); i felt like i could sing it, especially toward the end when you expertly vary "one more night" with the other stanzas. "i'm waiting/and thinking/and hoping/then drinking" was really powerful ~ the way you twisted the song just made love seem suddenly grotesque. the short stanzas were a nice formatting move. favorite lines from this one were: "i don't care/you're not here," "with my skull loudly aching" (the addition of sound through 'loud' did wonders for that line), "my throat cracks," "my heart rolls/my vision is/full of holes," "but my heart begins to smile," and the ending was the perfect conclusion. loved it. kudos!
8glitterjewelethis is almost chilling, it's so good. the rhythm was out of this world (yet again); i felt like i could sing it, especially toward the end when you expertly vary "one more night" with the other stanzas. "i'm waiting/and thinking/and hoping/then drinking" was really powerful ~ the way you twisted the song just made love seem suddenly grotesque. the short stanzas were a nice formatting move. favorite lines from this one were: "i don't care/you're not here," "with my skull loudly aching" (the addition of sound through 'loud' did wonders for that line), "my throat cracks," "my heart rolls/my vision is/full of holes," "but my heart begins to smile," and the ending was the perfect conclusion. loved it. kudos!
9/2/2003 c1 159Heather Goldbug
That was pretty cool, also sad... isn't it terrible what alcohol can do?
159Heather GoldbugThat was pretty cool, also sad... isn't it terrible what alcohol can do?
8/30/2003 c1 63neverlove again
That was a great poem. It was kind of sad because of the drinking. But other than that it was good.
Kt
63neverlove againThat was a great poem. It was kind of sad because of the drinking. But other than that it was good.
Kt
8/30/2003 c1 43Jay Lee
Hey props to you. The intro and all through the middle had me. Beautiful work almost. Then the ending kind of lost me. It's alright though. I get lost alot. It's nice you didn't use a forced rhyme scheme and went with natural flow. I think alot of can relate to this poem which is another bonus. Hey props to you and let's hope you writer bigger, better, and greater things.
43Jay LeeHey props to you. The intro and all through the middle had me. Beautiful work almost. Then the ending kind of lost me. It's alright though. I get lost alot. It's nice you didn't use a forced rhyme scheme and went with natural flow. I think alot of can relate to this poem which is another bonus. Hey props to you and let's hope you writer bigger, better, and greater things.
8/28/2003 c1 3Hopes Forgotten
Awws, that's sad. But it's a wonderful poem! It flows very well, and was nicely written =)
3Hopes ForgottenAwws, that's sad. But it's a wonderful poem! It flows very well, and was nicely written =)
8/28/2003 c1 63Tormented Romantic
wow, this was amazingly well written. The rhyme scheme was so natural and didn't sound the least bit forced which is hard to come by these days. The theme in it of itself was very unique and thoroughly strong. Another thing I really thought was great about this piece is unlike most it started off very strong and only got better where most start out weak and end fairly strtong. I thought the ending was a bit akward and really threw the flow off but other than that this piece was just wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.
I especially liked the lines that read:
'"Drown your sorrows" and such
You're not here, so who cares
If I drink a bit too much'
once again, nice work.
-Tormented Romantic-
63Tormented Romanticwow, this was amazingly well written. The rhyme scheme was so natural and didn't sound the least bit forced which is hard to come by these days. The theme in it of itself was very unique and thoroughly strong. Another thing I really thought was great about this piece is unlike most it started off very strong and only got better where most start out weak and end fairly strtong. I thought the ending was a bit akward and really threw the flow off but other than that this piece was just wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.
I especially liked the lines that read:
'"Drown your sorrows" and such
You're not here, so who cares
If I drink a bit too much'
once again, nice work.
-Tormented Romantic-
8/28/2003 c1 28Silent Star4
Very moving poem, I need to show it to someone who doesn't know what happens when people get depressed. Thanks a lot. Bye!
28Silent Star4Very moving poem, I need to show it to someone who doesn't know what happens when people get depressed. Thanks a lot. Bye!