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8/19/2005 c1 72Dark Ink
Dun have any suggestions of how to make it better, sorry, but that's because I think it's great as is. The set up kept me interested. I really like it!

~dark ink
6/8/2005 c1 24Lux's Confusion
i noticed how the tone of the poem was a sort of quiet passion. a passion wanting to spring up from its hiding place at any given moment. it felt like the words were speaking in pictures in my mind, only at times though, and it's quite a challange to really encounter something that speaks with honesty, which only then allows me such a treat, such a reaction. again, the honesty, i envy it. i think it's the true soul of a poem, that could speak of damn near nothing, but approached with an honest, pure, and ready hand, it's a world of difference. i think thats why people were so enthralled by all the drug saturated songs that emerged in the 60's for this very reason. to find my honesty. the goal of my life now. sorry for digressing.

Jasmine
1/19/2005 c1 95unjaundiced
the places where you broke up otherwise essentially complete thoughts and phrases sort of add bumps to a fairly smooth stanza. but the shortness of comment and speed of the flow sort of works. it seems despairing and desperate, and screams of effort when all you want to do is give up.
3/28/2004 c1 123breakdown in the waiting room
Perfect. The voabulary helps with the tone- condescending to the person it's written to, but not concescending to the reader. You know who it's meant for, I guess is what I'm trying to say.
It sounds like rape to me, but then my mother says I liken everything to rape. . .
-Jessica
2/16/2004 c1 Love and Destroy
There's a ton of difficult words in it which make it seem very elegant. Of course I'm too lazy to search in the dictionary, but it seems a little angsty over romance. I like the little stanzas that say "And the show must go on". I understand those and I think they're very poetic. I like it! Sunrise
1/9/2004 c1 25pleasecometrue
I love your poetry, each piece is amazing. Great work!
12/7/2003 c1 1Pound
GOOD FUCK. hi old friend, this was really quite amazing. i doubt i have ever read anything that flowed as seamlessly as "the show must go on". piercing. good words, also. just something about it.
"And the show must go on,
So they say,
For even as I write my
Catharsis,
Time is impatient."
the above is excellent... as is all of it. you really have something here. really really have something.
11/29/2003 c1 3Angerona
YAY you metioned me at the end of the poem! and your right, that was just what i was going to say!
so i shall say it!
"Pris! This is just anouther one of your attemps at romance! And it's dark in it's own way!" Oh cool right! garg i'm so predictable! Gotta stop that... anywa way i loved it and it DID seem kinda romantic to me. I love it love it love it!
~Angie~
11/4/2003 c1 35rocket baby doll
wow... you should get a really big hat... just because your that damn special...wow...this just really flowed and the vocab? what are you, like a dr in a teenage body? it was amazing though...

Keep it up (though i doubt you need that inspiration)
10/27/2003 c1 41Razor Sharp Kisses
This is great. Such an extensive vocabulary - and you use it very well. You are an amazing writer.
10/26/2003 c1 35Krikoris
-bows- I bow down before your wonderful . . .. ness. It's as simple as that. You write so emotionally that I can't even describe it. Not just this poem, but all of them. Sometimes I just feel like you went into my mind and stole my emotions, then wrote them down into words. I relate to almost all your poems (Destroy Me the most) and I . . .. . -hangs head and simply bows.-

Krikoris
10/24/2003 c1 49recalcitrant
yeh sometimes i also like writing poems with a vocab book out, it makes u sound like u have a huge vocab. anyway its a good poem and u if most people could understand it i m sure they would appreciate it

review some of my poems if u want (i suggest "vicious ambition" and "one small meaning" lemme know what you think.

peace
10/24/2003 c1 Shinn Too lazy to sign in
Thanks for reviewing my poem "Unwanted"...most imaginative and heart warming review I've received up to date. I love your poem, especially this:

"Before popping in a Phenobarbital,

To wish me a good night."

Thanks again.
10/24/2003 c1 Shinn Too lazy to sign in
Thanks for reviewing my poem "Unwanted"...most imaginative and heart warming review I've received up to date. I love your poem, especially this:

"Before popping in a Phenobarbital,

To wish me a good night."

Thanks again.
10/24/2003 c1 Shinn Too lazy to sign in
Thanks for reviewing my poem "Unwanted"...most imaginative and heart warming review I've received up to date. I love your poem, especially this:

"Before popping in a Phenobarbital,

To wish me a good night."

Thanks again.
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