for Soul Bound9/26/2004 c4 
1Rytia Malachite
You've got some minor typos, but don't we all? ;-)
I like how you suggest that Father maybe controling Ev. Very interesting that a man who 'loves' his 'family' so, feels the need to control them. I do hope there's more in coming. :-D
Rytia
1Rytia MalachiteYou've got some minor typos, but don't we all? ;-)
I like how you suggest that Father maybe controling Ev. Very interesting that a man who 'loves' his 'family' so, feels the need to control them. I do hope there's more in coming. :-D
Rytia
1/30/2004 c4 54ByFireAndMoonlight
Wow this is good! Keep up the good writing, but try starting new paragraphs when a different person's speaking. It helps make your paragraphs shorter, AND it makes it easire to read.
54ByFireAndMoonlightWow this is good! Keep up the good writing, but try starting new paragraphs when a different person's speaking. It helps make your paragraphs shorter, AND it makes it easire to read.
1/24/2004 c4 sakurafox666
Another good one! *sweatdrops* Now if only I can be that good! Oh well! Write more!
Another good one! *sweatdrops* Now if only I can be that good! Oh well! Write more!
11/1/2003 c3 1Rytia Malachite
Whew this really is a page turner. I guess i'll just have to eagerly await the next chapter. :-)
Rytia
1Rytia MalachiteWhew this really is a page turner. I guess i'll just have to eagerly await the next chapter. :-)
Rytia
10/21/2003 c2 Rytia Malachite
You have a real knack for descriptions, and your characters are already showing realy unique personalities. My only critique would be to say that you need to have paragraphs. New paragraphs start when someone is speaking or when you change the topic.
Besides having paragraphs would be easier on the eyes!
By the way, I seem to be on your favorite authors list, but i've never seen a review from you *pouty face* I was just wondering what gained me the honor of that placement?
Anyway, these first two chapters are really good and I have fallen in love with Ev. I hope his mission isn't too dangerous. (but then what kind of a story would we have?)
Rytia
You have a real knack for descriptions, and your characters are already showing realy unique personalities. My only critique would be to say that you need to have paragraphs. New paragraphs start when someone is speaking or when you change the topic.
Besides having paragraphs would be easier on the eyes!
By the way, I seem to be on your favorite authors list, but i've never seen a review from you *pouty face* I was just wondering what gained me the honor of that placement?
Anyway, these first two chapters are really good and I have fallen in love with Ev. I hope his mission isn't too dangerous. (but then what kind of a story would we have?)
Rytia