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for HTSP squared: Original Old

2/17/2007 c1 7Niki Tori
This sounded pretty intresting. Nice first chappie!

Thanks 4 R&R R.paths!

UnTil NexT TimE

LOvE

Niki!
10/25/2004 c1 A-Bomb
Gj! I like the story line so far. Funny how they all kno he was the one who didnt answer. Also luv how this guy is tryin to become famous even though he has a lower background at his school. Keep it up Chuka!
7/27/2004 c1 Vladimir
LOL. Wonderful, one helluva cliff-hanger. Funny, usually all I have to do to get a large room full of people to stare at me is streak and scream, "The chainsaws are going to get us all! AGH!"
Just remember, Quality over Quantity, and move it along nice and easy.
Anyways, nice work, as always. Keep it up.
The Funkalicious,
~Vladimir
5/18/2004 c3 1by-the-light-of-the-moon
this is reall yinteresting, your right, theyare definatley not just a ccliche couple, but i am hoping hat regardless of their little agreement, something will happen - i know what its like to be a loser and i want somebody (even if he's only fictional) to get a chance at popularity!
3/21/2004 c2 dookie
okay I know I prolly sound stupid but what the fuck is POV and Overload? otherwise it's pretty damn good, eh cutie? lol
3/9/2004 c3 1Aexicas Ryinn
"Zack, can i use ur toilet?" if its ever made into a movie that will turn into a classic one liner
the dialogue is great and the surrounding storyline is great, just the flipping back and forth between 1st and 3rd makes it a bit choppy, with a bit of polishing, this will turn out great, as a great book that teens can relate to one way or another
9/29/2003 c1 Euqirne
This piece is well written but needs spelling and punctuation checks. It would be even better if you did it in either first person or third person, but not both. Watch word usage and feel free to trim away words you don't need. But aside from small grammatical errors, cool story.
9/25/2003 c3 YodaJediMaster89
"Nice thong!" said Nick.

Whoa, that blew my mind. LOL! Nice dialogue as always man. Ending this chapter with a cliffhanger makes me really want to read chapter 4. I can't wait for it. Keep up the good work!
9/23/2003 c1 YodaJediMaster89
Nice job man. I can't wait for chapter 3. You're wrong about the dialogue thing though. The dialogue thing is great. If you don't have good dialogue your story is going to suck. So don't decrease on the dialogue thing. Other than that it's very well written. I can't wait for the 3rd part.

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