for Things So Hidden3/2/2022 c6 Coralsea
Um, the twins seem to be five or six rather than twelve year old
But other than that nice story
Um, the twins seem to be five or six rather than twelve year old
But other than that nice story
5/2/2014 c20 Ginger
This was lame, very lame. Or maybe thats just how teens act these days. It was disjointed and messy and just unbelievable.
This was lame, very lame. Or maybe thats just how teens act these days. It was disjointed and messy and just unbelievable.
11/7/2013 c33 Hannah Ang
Thank you for this story! I love the characters, the quotes they said, the plot.. Everything. Congratulations on this! I hope you write more stories and I manage to read them all. Very well-written. I admire you and your writing skill.
Thank you for this story! I love the characters, the quotes they said, the plot.. Everything. Congratulations on this! I hope you write more stories and I manage to read them all. Very well-written. I admire you and your writing skill.
5/13/2013 c11 OrientNightmare
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT QUOTE FROM? If it's a real poem, can you please PM me because I'm thinking of using that quote for my yearbook quote...It's BEAUTIFUL AND INSPIRATIONAL!
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT QUOTE FROM? If it's a real poem, can you please PM me because I'm thinking of using that quote for my yearbook quote...It's BEAUTIFUL AND INSPIRATIONAL!
2/4/2013 c1 NothingMoreThanLife123
Yes, Ayla, yes. I love when students do stuff like that, it's amusing. Can not wait to see what else she does to annoy the teacher, or anyone else for that matter.
Yes, Ayla, yes. I love when students do stuff like that, it's amusing. Can not wait to see what else she does to annoy the teacher, or anyone else for that matter.
12/18/2012 c33 
2Hope.Love.Dreams
I love this, I think it is so well written and the characters and emotions that are portrayed are perfect. Congratulations and thank you.
2Hope.Love.DreamsI love this, I think it is so well written and the characters and emotions that are portrayed are perfect. Congratulations and thank you.
12/10/2012 c33 DA-chen1
Great! What can I say? You'll not change anything now, so I only want to say that this was really great ;-)
Mira
Great! What can I say? You'll not change anything now, so I only want to say that this was really great ;-)
Mira
11/21/2012 c3 mareecee
Absolutely love Alya! her sense of humour! And the whole feel of the story so far really. I think it is realistic and not too cliche in terms of the high school setting. where is Alya from... Before she came to this school?
Absolutely love Alya! her sense of humour! And the whole feel of the story so far really. I think it is realistic and not too cliche in terms of the high school setting. where is Alya from... Before she came to this school?
4/2/2012 c13 Kalilah
Whoa...Dawn was way over the top...so dramatic. I didn't see her as the type to just combust like that and just go hysterical on Ayla, accusing her left and right.
Whoa...Dawn was way over the top...so dramatic. I didn't see her as the type to just combust like that and just go hysterical on Ayla, accusing her left and right.
12/28/2011 c32 midnight tales
oh wow, this story is brilliant and had me hooked from the very first chapter and finished this in one sitting. though I think some of the minor characters need a little more development; I feel as though they come off sort of flat. your writing was brilliant and the quotes were wonderful. I especially liked the last chapter. great work!
oh wow, this story is brilliant and had me hooked from the very first chapter and finished this in one sitting. though I think some of the minor characters need a little more development; I feel as though they come off sort of flat. your writing was brilliant and the quotes were wonderful. I especially liked the last chapter. great work!
11/11/2011 c33 Joemommah
The first chapter killed me. It was so good. I love your characters and their bickering dynamic. It was an amazing story. I think I had trouble with expecting everything to happen. I feel that all of the minor characters didn't add depth to the story. Honestly, I barely cared about them. Maybe there should have been more plot development and character fleshing out there. Ayla was real to me and so was Christian.
("Journeys end," he said, in a low voice, "with lovers meeting." And laughed bitterly, shaking his head. As if it were all a strange joke, one that had ended and put an end to a hope with a life of its own. But Ayla heard the wistfulness in the deep wound beneath the laugh, listened to his disappointment. What had made him flinch from her gaze and become an angry child?
"Every wise man's son doth know," she finished the quote, quietly. There seemed nothing else to say.
He turned and looked at her, sitting vulnerable in her flimsy dress with her hands drawn around her legs.
"Who is he?" he demanded.
"I don't-"
"Then why didn't I see anything in your face? I showed you everything. Your eyes- they were completely empty. Like you felt nothing. No, don't tell me why, I don't want to know." He looked away again then, caught up in his own angst. His beautiful face lit up by moonlight, like an angel.
Ayla smiled. "Because I was looking at you."
There was a pause. Inside the marquee the song reached a high point in the chorus, then dimmed slightly, the singer's voice retracting its violent range.)
This quote demonstrates your love of literature, your ability to incorporate a range of emotions, really good analogies and lots of character depth. I loved your story and I read it all in one sitting because I just couldn't get enough. Happy writing!
The first chapter killed me. It was so good. I love your characters and their bickering dynamic. It was an amazing story. I think I had trouble with expecting everything to happen. I feel that all of the minor characters didn't add depth to the story. Honestly, I barely cared about them. Maybe there should have been more plot development and character fleshing out there. Ayla was real to me and so was Christian.
("Journeys end," he said, in a low voice, "with lovers meeting." And laughed bitterly, shaking his head. As if it were all a strange joke, one that had ended and put an end to a hope with a life of its own. But Ayla heard the wistfulness in the deep wound beneath the laugh, listened to his disappointment. What had made him flinch from her gaze and become an angry child?
"Every wise man's son doth know," she finished the quote, quietly. There seemed nothing else to say.
He turned and looked at her, sitting vulnerable in her flimsy dress with her hands drawn around her legs.
"Who is he?" he demanded.
"I don't-"
"Then why didn't I see anything in your face? I showed you everything. Your eyes- they were completely empty. Like you felt nothing. No, don't tell me why, I don't want to know." He looked away again then, caught up in his own angst. His beautiful face lit up by moonlight, like an angel.
Ayla smiled. "Because I was looking at you."
There was a pause. Inside the marquee the song reached a high point in the chorus, then dimmed slightly, the singer's voice retracting its violent range.)
This quote demonstrates your love of literature, your ability to incorporate a range of emotions, really good analogies and lots of character depth. I loved your story and I read it all in one sitting because I just couldn't get enough. Happy writing!
10/17/2011 c11 1leavesfallingup
I suppose that I should have waited for one more chapter before commenting on not knowing how Ayla felt. She seems to be enjoying her time with Christian.
1leavesfallingupI suppose that I should have waited for one more chapter before commenting on not knowing how Ayla felt. She seems to be enjoying her time with Christian.