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for dress of dreams

1/20/2004 c1 2Who I Am Instead
Wow...You have much talent, strongwind! This is very good and flows beautifully, I think. The words used fit very well...I wish I could write like you! Anyhow, a nice poem to think about...Keep writing, please!
-Who I am Instead
1/13/2004 c1 2JupGrrl
My immediate impression was that this was a description of a bride left alone on her wedding day. I suppose that could be a metaphor for anyone whose dreams are about to come true and has their illusions toppled. Boy, can I identify with that...
1/13/2004 c1 9QuillKitten
Wow, that was a cool poem. I like the third line and the fifth line. The flow is short and the rhyme works, I like how it flows like that leavong room for thought. However, lines "Her heart within will break." "Leaving only bitterness as her guards." They interuppt the flow that you established and they both sound odd. I love the last line and think it would be better without the s on the end of guard I don't know what to say about the other line except that you might want to revise it. Otherwise this poem was beautiful. The imagery was dark and beautiful.
The last three lines in ADD were meant to complete the poem I had started from the first two lines. The "Oh Shit was just because I always forget or do something wrong. So it would have been this:
"Oh look a butterfly
With wings as soft as silk
Gliding on playful currents
Pretty wings alight the sky"
and then this is what I did
"Oh look a butterfly
With wings as soft as silk
*middle of poem*
Gliding on playful currents
Pretty wings alight the sky"
10/2/2003 c1 1Kaiwaf
This is so...sad. But it a really well-written sort of way. ~.^ The descriptions were really well done...it's tough when your dreams are crushed and yet you have to keep going.

another nice one

kat
9/30/2003 c1 148JJR Meerraf
Good job, I didn't really like the first four lines, they just didn't seem to flow too well, but besides that it was a great poem.
9/26/2003 c1 37Sunflower Philosophy
*cries*

I love this one, too, especially the dress of dreams thing... I love the way you describe the emotions...

I really have to get out of the elipse habit. I must end my sentences in periods. There. That's better.

m~* Sunflower, anyone?

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