Just In
for Calvin's Sports Column

3/16/2004 c12 A Yankees Fan
I take offense...
3/15/2004 c12 James Jago
Basketball is of some passing interest to me (my brother is an enthusiast and a damn fine player), so I'll be on the lookout for more on that subject.
3/14/2004 c12 Steven Lawrence
LOL...damnit, I just turned 21 last night and I was hoping to drink to another gay essay!

Alrighty-yippie, go f-cking Patriots...once again, the only team you guys have that wins.

Basketball is still boring...Bertuzzi needs to be beaten with wet rawhide...and then to this:

"Golf/ Tennis/ NASCAR: Uh, I like Jeff Gordon to win Wimbledon this year."

See, you northerners have no idea how awesome NASCAR is. Jeff Gordon is a woman-#8 baby, Dale Jr.

"I hope you and Jeter get in a brawl over who plays short stop better, and the both of you get suspended. Secondly I'd like to extend my heartiest, wait scratch that, bitterest sympathy to the Players Union. They can suck my @#$%!"

Aww, cry those alligator tears.

"Hell, all they got is hitting and us Sox fans saw how far that'll get you last year."

Because Vasquez, Brown, and Mussina are just jerkoff pushovers? LOL...right...and Wakefield really showed his stuff...right up until the ball landed in left field...hahahahah!

"First you let Pettite slip away, then Wells, but Roger coming out of retirement to play for the Astro's? (Must hold in laughter.) I would be really bitter right now if I lived in New York, let me tell you. I just hope Roger goes on to play better in Texas than he ever did at Yankee Stadium."

First off, we didnt let Andy "slip" away...we offered 9 million more than Houston-he doesnt like Steinbrenner, and he's coming to the end of his career-he wants to be at home...we cant FORCE him to stay with the Yankees.

Wells? Jesus, c'mon, his back explodes every other game-he's done for, we dont need the extra fat-literally and figuratively.

The Rocket, well, he's an anamoly. We cant really do anything about that-he's playting one last year, and he's doing it mostly for Andy-you saw him at the end of last season...he's not the same Rocket anymore.

We still have A-Rod...haaha..i love AAron Boone.

Two and a half weeks D...two and a half weeks left...

3/13/2004 c12 C Shot
Hmm.. baskeyball, I love baskeyball, baskeyball is fun. Until the curse of Minnesota strike them Timberwolves down... as for hocket... well hocket is only fun for the fighting, even hocket has manage to ruin that as well. My money is on the Vikings for the Stanely Cup. God knows they couldnt choke much more on hocket then foolball.

Now to the sport we love the most. Basieball. Now lets compare the pay roll of the Twinkies to the Fed Socks, then let compare the Fed Socks to the New Jerk Yankers. Then lets see how much cheaper it is for the Twins franchise to go to the Play-with-Nuts Offs. Well my bet is on... hmm, whats the best team in the NFL? I know, the Brewers! Ye'ah, ya'll better look out for the Big Bad B's this year.

By the way Cal, do you think a Tippmann Pro-Carbine is relyable paintball gun? Im so tempted to buy it with the money the Government didnt take from me. Bound to be a beauty.

Likewise I will shoot (more or less) the next cheese-head that bitches out a Gay Right's essay.. they are so annoying.

3/13/2004 c12 Le Creature
What? No new essay on homosexual marriage? Aww, and I was looking forward to getting drunk...
2/16/2004 c1 Steven Lawrence
Calvin, I'm shocked you havent put an essay up regarding the Deal, which is being referred to as Ruth II: A-Rod. How much more can you guys take?

2/1/2004 c1 Steven Lawrence
Before you even post some celebratory "New England is the greatest" essay, I hope you put in there how hard the Panthers played-they were favored to lose by like 6 or 7 and that game came down to a field goal.

God, I hate Boston. Here comes another Super Bowl Rally with a "Yankees Suck" chant. At least you guys got a team to win a championship-because Cal, my man, it sure as hell aint coming in the form of a trophy with alot of flags. LOL...football's over buddy-and we're merely weeks away from Spring Training. Congrats goes out to the New England Patriots. But Boston, relish in it now, because come April 1 to late October, its only gonna be hell.
1/20/2004 c11 James Jago
Ah, NUTS. The NFL's just rugby for wusses; come try it against our national team (my new friend Spawny and I haven't forgotten your observations about them) without all that poncy Kevlar! #Swing low, sweet chariot...#
Sorry, got a little caried away there. Too much coffee on an empty stomach. I'll shut up now.
1/19/2004 c11 7C Shot
Cal, of course the Vikes chocked. Or they wouldnt be the Vikings. Weather it's wide left or a forced out of bounds, they keep inventing new ways to choke.

I mean, a six and zero start usually leads to a play off spot. But Culpepper drops the ball and Moss... loses focus and starts smoking funny stuff. And dont even get me started on their defense. Well there is always hope for next year.. to be honest I am wondering how they're gonna choke next time.

Either way the Vikings won the Superbowl in my Madden 2002 game, so it's all good.

Now to the Patriots, going into yesterday I want them to win. But I knew the Colts were going to... so i forgot to watch the game and made out with a chick to some movie I cant remember the title of anyways. Oh well, glad to here they won.

My bet is 31-28 overtime to the Patriots. I'll have more faith in them this time.

1/19/2004 c1 Steve Lawrence
LMAO-Jesus was in third? Surely theres something wrong!

You know, when I heard the Pats won, I thought of nothing but this: here comes the Boston fans. Which is why I was not surprised that you've graced us with another chapter. The best thing about yesterday? Eagles lost-Rush was right. Keep warm brotha.

12/10/2003 c10 Steven Lawrence
LOL...atta baby Calvin. Not much else to add bud. How bout the spending splurge of Boston? and why you never email me back man?
12/10/2003 c1 C Shot
Edina's debate team? I go there next month for a speech team competition.
But my school's glory is in it's Knowledge Bowl team, first in the nation 2 years ago and second last year. This year doesnt look hopeful... Tyler, Drew, and Emily graduated... all three of them at over a 4.2... out of 4 for a GPA...
But I guess what we lack in muscles we make up for in brains... here comes the Mayo Clinic! ahahahahahahaha.. wait that'sa hospital...
~C Shot~
12/10/2003 c10 James Jago
Never been there, so I'll keep out of this one.
12/9/2003 c10 15Radyn
Minnesota isn't all worthless...Edina's debate team (which is a high school in Minnesota) is currently one of the best, if not the best in the country. And yes, debate's a sport. Or at least it should be.
12/9/2003 c10 C SHot
Well you... are right... except for we kicked the Canadians out a long time ago, when tey found out are legal drinking limit was going down to .08... they ran
Not only are we Germans... we're Swedish to!
My dad cried when Jesse was elected (not really but he did send a few curses flying).
By the way, this is everything I thought you'd make it to be. I laughed my ass off, thanx buddy ol' pal.. now you should do Wisonson, or we'll invade them for real.
Are the rest of thte 49 states really considering selling us to Canada.. if so I might have to migrite to a real mess... like Iowa.
Thanx for reminding me... I gotsta tip a few cows, later.
~C Shot~
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