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12/14/2003 c1 AVIGON
For me, the "I'm just tired" doesn't really add anything to the poem, but it doesn't diminish it either, so in the end, it's what you think of it yourself. If you're not happy with it, then you might want to change it. Then again: doesn't a thing's perfection lie in its imperfection?
The first three lines: gorgeous.
10/13/2003 c1 2swimming in kerosene
i agree with you...the first three lines are brilliant.

the rest are as well, if you ask me, although not as strikingly. i love how you indented that very last "i'm just tired". it's just one of those small things i notice.

as always, i love your work.
10/13/2003 c1 79CrimsonCat
First off, I just want to say that I agree with you about that line from BtVS. It broke my heart.

And personally, I like that last line. Though I love the first three more...

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