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4/27/2004 c1 52Tiriel Sapharious
Good work, I really like it so far. You do however need to work on a few spelling and gramatically errors, though who doesn't. I envy the talent you posses to write from many different naritve perspectyives where as I tend to stick to the same ones afraid to come out of my comfort zone and fail at something. I will now have to read chapter two as you so urged me to read this and yet I only wish I could come up with cool enough characters to have a modern story, non fantasy/gothic styled story such as nearly everything I attempt to write. Again I will say good job on this.
12/6/2003 c1 37Animagess
You know, many people have tried to write stories form the perspectives of people whose lives they knoe nothing about- suidicals, sadists, homosexuals- but this seemed surprisingly real. The imagery is appropriately graphic and, despite some numerous awkward phrasing, the prose was smooth.
I didn't really pay attention to the summary, so when I got to the end I was thinking "Oh, so that was the serial killer..." because the character was introduced so well.
It grabbed my attention, anyway. Hope you go through with this rather visceral and ambitious undertaking.
12/3/2003 c2 33Blondeggman
wow...very good. there are some parts that might need a little spell check. like a part when it says 'brian of missing boy' there were a few others. but it was really good. keep it up!
:)
10/27/2003 c2 wazawaisuru
OMG! So gross-I love it! The pace is great, and your details are incredible-the bloodwine...oh man, I'm still nauseous! Please please please keep writing on this!
10/16/2003 c1 13HeavyMetalMaiden
wow compelling. I like it. Congrats on writing such a captivating first chapter.
10/16/2003 c1 2Layla Knight
Well that was fucked up. I like it though, good description. Write more!
10/15/2003 c1 14thepaxilfairy
That has to to be the most morbid and deranged thing I have ever read. It was actually pretty good. ^_^. Though it was rather descriptive...and I'm not really a horror fan. My friend told me to read it.

You have good use of rhetorical devices. That's good. And you've got imagery...lots of it. Still not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing...lol.

All in all...it was really very good. I liked the part about him playing with the intestines. lol. Reminded me of an old X Files ep.

Anywho...very good. Carry on.
10/15/2003 c1 Dale Jones
My goodness! What a delightfully disturbed tale! I really, really hope there is something more coming. This is spectacular!

-Dale Jones
10/15/2003 c1 Catch Ya Later Alligator
That just. . .that just rocked. I wish I could be helpful or something, but I can't. The way you wrote it and described everything was very effective. I can't wait for the next chapter.

Just keep going with this.
10/15/2003 c1 wazawaisuru
Oh wow, was that ever scary! You absolutely have to keep writing-I love all the gory details you put in! Please update soon, okay?
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