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for What Sun SAID What Moon DID

1/31/2006 c1 32bleeding subterfuge
spectacular. i have nothing to say that would push you off the edge... it was beautiful.if you die, take me with you, and where ever we are- read me poetry.
11/10/2003 c1 5Melusine07
Wow... this is amazing! So beautiful and poignant... wow. I love it.
11/4/2003 c1 121Seeker of the Way
OK, you asked for it ... never invite a Taurus to critisize you. MWA_HAHAHAHA

Actually, we Tauri are very fair critics ... unless.

There is no unless here.

OK, I really like the imagry and some of the wording/phrases. Nice end.

But, where are the rhymes? Where is the strutrue? I mean, non-structuire is OK, but this poem needs rhythm.

I thought you gay (bi) guys were supposed to HAVE rhythm! Ha! Actually, I don;t think I, as a straight guy, have the right to say that. Sorry, no offense.

But, This is SO CLOSE! It just needs to be read outloud. Try reading it out loud and I think you may be able to make this sleeping catapillar into a wide-awake Monarch!

But what the hell do I know?

Keep on writing! I think there is real promise here.

*I stil feel badly for critcising. Who am I to criticise?
10/24/2003 c1 whyt forest
oh god that was painful. i mean that in the way the emotions hit me. very beautiful and tragic. hav i added you to my fav's list yet. well i will.

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