for Winter's Tear11/1/2003 c3 
21Miri Tiazan
::sad puppy dog eyes:: You are going to update this, right? Soon? Please please please? I love this story, what there is of it, and it would make me SO happy if you would update it. ::hopeful grin:: It's even better than I remembered, I am glad it is up again, but please can you update it? Pretty please? With sugar on top?
M'cha
21Miri Tiazan::sad puppy dog eyes:: You are going to update this, right? Soon? Please please please? I love this story, what there is of it, and it would make me SO happy if you would update it. ::hopeful grin:: It's even better than I remembered, I am glad it is up again, but please can you update it? Pretty please? With sugar on top?
M'cha
11/1/2003 c1 Miri Tiazan
Hey Athena! I am thrilled you reposted this! You can never too much Tir-Nan. Just a couple of notes on this chapter.
"...he crushed them under a militarian boot of tyranny." It seems to me you're halfway between totalitarian and militaristic. Maybe despotic? I've always liked that one. I don't know, I don't think militarian is a word, but I could be wrong...
"Power corrupts, but absolute power corrupts absolute." Umm, absolutely. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
"...without even thinking about consequences that could occur..." Umm, maybe "possible consequences" would be better. I don't know. It just kind of jars in my mind.
That's pretty much it, as far as little funky problems go. But they don't really make much of a difference, and the chapter was as great as I remembered it. I must, however, go read the NEXT chapter, so I am off.
M'cha
Hey Athena! I am thrilled you reposted this! You can never too much Tir-Nan. Just a couple of notes on this chapter.
"...he crushed them under a militarian boot of tyranny." It seems to me you're halfway between totalitarian and militaristic. Maybe despotic? I've always liked that one. I don't know, I don't think militarian is a word, but I could be wrong...
"Power corrupts, but absolute power corrupts absolute." Umm, absolutely. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
"...without even thinking about consequences that could occur..." Umm, maybe "possible consequences" would be better. I don't know. It just kind of jars in my mind.
That's pretty much it, as far as little funky problems go. But they don't really make much of a difference, and the chapter was as great as I remembered it. I must, however, go read the NEXT chapter, so I am off.
M'cha
10/26/2003 c3 Snarks
Sugoi! Eh, but you knew I'd say that since I love this fic. Excellent as always. You have a hefty amount of detail but you don't dump it on everyone. It's spread out nicely and easier to absorb that way.
Quirk though. You used the term "Kangaroo Court" in the first chapter. That's a bit too . . . indicative of our current culture and thus struck me as a jarring reference in this. It just seemed a touch out of place.
Also, I believe in the second chapter you had Winter saying how she turned to look at Cai and then described how her eyes looked to him. That doesn't really work all that well unless you say something akin to "Mine - most likely filled with such and such." Since these are all her observations, she wouldn't really know what look was in her eyes.
But other than that, excellent as always.
Mata ne!
Karen
Sugoi! Eh, but you knew I'd say that since I love this fic. Excellent as always. You have a hefty amount of detail but you don't dump it on everyone. It's spread out nicely and easier to absorb that way.
Quirk though. You used the term "Kangaroo Court" in the first chapter. That's a bit too . . . indicative of our current culture and thus struck me as a jarring reference in this. It just seemed a touch out of place.
Also, I believe in the second chapter you had Winter saying how she turned to look at Cai and then described how her eyes looked to him. That doesn't really work all that well unless you say something akin to "Mine - most likely filled with such and such." Since these are all her observations, she wouldn't really know what look was in her eyes.
But other than that, excellent as always.
Mata ne!
Karen
10/26/2003 c3 3Ta2dFreekshow
Fruitcake, you know me...you know I'm not a fantasy type of guy...so remember that when I say I'm really enjoying this, and look forward to reading more. It's a well-written yarn, and I don't care how much saki you start drinking in Japan, you better keep this up.
With brotherly love,
The Dead Man
3Ta2dFreekshowFruitcake, you know me...you know I'm not a fantasy type of guy...so remember that when I say I'm really enjoying this, and look forward to reading more. It's a well-written yarn, and I don't care how much saki you start drinking in Japan, you better keep this up.
With brotherly love,
The Dead Man
10/26/2003 c3 4Prantis - Queen of Hearts
hehehe still so joyoused by all the return of you! one of my favourite authors!
4Prantis - Queen of Heartshehehe still so joyoused by all the return of you! one of my favourite authors!
10/26/2003 c1 Prantis - Queen of Hearts
YAY! you have returned to fictionpress! all shall be joyous again! starting up writing tales of tir-nan again? becuase they're really great!
YAY! you have returned to fictionpress! all shall be joyous again! starting up writing tales of tir-nan again? becuase they're really great!