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for The Twilights Eye

2/27/2004 c4 dD The dark One
JOE: WOW...intense...I like it, these people have a...(unremembered word)...gah can't remember. Mind link, thought sharing, no secrets...
KYR: (sighs) It is called a hivemind effect brother dear.
JOE: thanks, yeah hivemind...KEWL.
1/21/2004 c1 LordUltima's Biatch
This is strange, but it keeps draging me back, I dont know what you did to this, but it's like a magnet of strange. BTW, who is Dean Kootz?
11/13/2003 c4 1Mitsozuka Ayarashi
Nice so far... It will help enormously when the other elements of this come into play, and you know what I mean. Keep up the good work!
10/29/2003 c3 Mitsozuka Ayarashi
Very well done. The next chapter promises to be very detailed, or very vague, however you decide to write it. Keep it going, and we shall see where it goes from there.
10/28/2003 c1 1Paul B. Spence
I have good and bad things to say.

First of all, I like it. It has a surreal sense to it that I think has a lot of potential. Don't get lost in it though.

Okay, the bad stuff now. Beware run-on sentences. Your first line should be three. It would also be more powerful that way.

Third line: "...we will meat those...", I think you mean "meet".

Also, being a Dean Koontz fan, your title makes me twitch. The book "Twilight Eyes" of his is a favorite. Your title is awful close to infringing his IP rights.
10/27/2003 c2 1Mitsozuka Ayarashi
Keep it going. This story will definetely go places, and I hope mine will be able to do the same, as well as keep up with yours. More detail into the characters would be nice, but I have a feeling you will get to that soon enough. Good job so far.
10/27/2003 c1 Mitsozuka Ayarashi
Nice. I am curious to see what comes next. Be sure to take advantage of your expansive vocabulary when you are developing characters, and this story will go far. Be careful that no spelling or grammar errors slip through, and everything will be cool. Keep up the awesome work.

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