for To Sleep, Perchance to Die8/19/2006 c2 
7R.J. Miller
The idea of this story is f'n awesome. It reads as though it does need to be re-proofed-a few sentences seem to need restructuring like the first sentence of chapter 2. But I wasn't expecting the ending and I am writing this reveiw with a genuine smile. Thanks!
7R.J. MillerThe idea of this story is f'n awesome. It reads as though it does need to be re-proofed-a few sentences seem to need restructuring like the first sentence of chapter 2. But I wasn't expecting the ending and I am writing this reveiw with a genuine smile. Thanks!
8/19/2006 c1 R.J. Miller
A few misspellings in this chapter but I like the buildup of suspense with the backstory. The cigarrettes and hard candies is a nice charcter traits. They add dimension to the character. I WILL be reading the second chapter. I hope it is as good as the first!
A few misspellings in this chapter but I like the buildup of suspense with the backstory. The cigarrettes and hard candies is a nice charcter traits. They add dimension to the character. I WILL be reading the second chapter. I hope it is as good as the first!
3/7/2005 c2 1Shuyan
Whoa...This is a really great story. You've gotta continue this...Please? If you have a chance can you check out my story Shade of darkness
1ShuyanWhoa...This is a really great story. You've gotta continue this...Please? If you have a chance can you check out my story Shade of darkness
10/1/2004 c1 vampyreking
What can i say, brilliant. Adam is a believable character which people can relate to.
Love the conclusion to chapter 2, It suggests that things are about to gt more interesting and keeps the reader hooked.
Will there be a chapter 3?
What can i say, brilliant. Adam is a believable character which people can relate to.
Love the conclusion to chapter 2, It suggests that things are about to gt more interesting and keeps the reader hooked.
Will there be a chapter 3?
11/19/2003 c2 9Neon Tetra
M, surrealism.
Certainly an unusual way to end a story that starts out so ordinarily; you have less detail here than in the first half, although this seems to simulate the way that people remember dreams.
9Neon TetraM, surrealism.
Certainly an unusual way to end a story that starts out so ordinarily; you have less detail here than in the first half, although this seems to simulate the way that people remember dreams.
11/9/2003 c2 8DeeEe
I think he just wrecked a plane too. Ep...that was a weird dream. Wish I had a book about dreams to analize it with. Fascinating and like an accident...don't want to look but can't stop. Good job.
8DeeEeI think he just wrecked a plane too. Ep...that was a weird dream. Wish I had a book about dreams to analize it with. Fascinating and like an accident...don't want to look but can't stop. Good job.
11/9/2003 c1 DeeEe
Hm...a few awkward sentences (The likes of which I seem to collect in abundance in my own writing). I like the discriptions and flow of the thoughts. Next chapter...
Hm...a few awkward sentences (The likes of which I seem to collect in abundance in my own writing). I like the discriptions and flow of the thoughts. Next chapter...
11/9/2003 c2 7Lightness
heeya kid. wow. that came outta nowhere. great job. althou.. i kinda didnt really get what happened to the plane. how exactly did adam get out like that? anywayz. this was good stuff. keep writing.
ooh by the by, thanks for reviewing my story again. lol. glad you liked that second part too. not sure if i can write more with that same character... but oo well. anywayz. buh byee.
7Lightnessheeya kid. wow. that came outta nowhere. great job. althou.. i kinda didnt really get what happened to the plane. how exactly did adam get out like that? anywayz. this was good stuff. keep writing.
ooh by the by, thanks for reviewing my story again. lol. glad you liked that second part too. not sure if i can write more with that same character... but oo well. anywayz. buh byee.
10/31/2003 c1 Lightness
heeya person,
very nicely written story. i love the way you have so much detail. your character is developed very nicely. write some more soon, kid. this is great.
heeya person,
very nicely written story. i love the way you have so much detail. your character is developed very nicely. write some more soon, kid. this is great.
10/27/2003 c1 9Neon Tetra
I like your style and your attention to detail, but you tend to overuse the passive tense ("The room was lit gently by the bulb beneath a plain lampshade" as opposed to, say, "Beneath a plain lampshad, the bulb gently lit the room.") Otherwise, very nice; please update soon.
9Neon TetraI like your style and your attention to detail, but you tend to overuse the passive tense ("The room was lit gently by the bulb beneath a plain lampshade" as opposed to, say, "Beneath a plain lampshad, the bulb gently lit the room.") Otherwise, very nice; please update soon.