for Insight of Sickness2/14/2004 c1 
5PainkillerPie
Wow... that was breathtakingly good... I mean that. The only thing I didn't like was the 'On the count of three they fired off to the call of "choo".'
It lacked finesse, you know? Otherwise, your writing here was skilful and subtle. It's certainly the best from you, I think.
5PainkillerPieWow... that was breathtakingly good... I mean that. The only thing I didn't like was the 'On the count of three they fired off to the call of "choo".'
It lacked finesse, you know? Otherwise, your writing here was skilful and subtle. It's certainly the best from you, I think.
12/2/2003 c1 3Nevyn
I read it and then my comp froze and I couldn't review it. Which I am regretting now because I can't remember what my first thoughts of it were. But I think I had been close to understanding what was going on. But now the facts evade me. It’s annoying. I’m not very good at analyzing poems and since I don't write them, I can't really comment. But I have to say that there seems to be a mystery surrounding this one. *thinks* I don't know what it is. It's almost as if you stop thinking for a moment, everything will be come clear. I think I’m confusing myself...
So, I liked it. I really did. And I hope that you continue to write more poems. Oh, and what was happening? Were they decorating a cake with little toy soldiers?
3NevynI read it and then my comp froze and I couldn't review it. Which I am regretting now because I can't remember what my first thoughts of it were. But I think I had been close to understanding what was going on. But now the facts evade me. It’s annoying. I’m not very good at analyzing poems and since I don't write them, I can't really comment. But I have to say that there seems to be a mystery surrounding this one. *thinks* I don't know what it is. It's almost as if you stop thinking for a moment, everything will be come clear. I think I’m confusing myself...
So, I liked it. I really did. And I hope that you continue to write more poems. Oh, and what was happening? Were they decorating a cake with little toy soldiers?
12/1/2003 c1 121Seeker of the Way
Wow, I like it! Very visual and fun to read. I like the idea of connecting the poems with a narrative, it was a tad odd, so it was good that your summary warned me.
Third line, you misspelled morning "moring".
Great job!
Thanks for taking the time to read, and then review, my short story.
121Seeker of the WayWow, I like it! Very visual and fun to read. I like the idea of connecting the poems with a narrative, it was a tad odd, so it was good that your summary warned me.
Third line, you misspelled morning "moring".
Great job!
Thanks for taking the time to read, and then review, my short story.