for For Him3/20/2004 c1 aaaaaaaaaaaaa
Oi, oi... angst... listen to some happy music, get some sun, it'll do you good. ;)
I agree with alepine, writing sans the pronouns is a very nice effect for this type of poem. It gives it a creepy, wandering feel...
The flow and rythme seems very natural... not at all rigid... really from the heart, I guess.
Oi, oi... angst... listen to some happy music, get some sun, it'll do you good. ;)
I agree with alepine, writing sans the pronouns is a very nice effect for this type of poem. It gives it a creepy, wandering feel...
The flow and rythme seems very natural... not at all rigid... really from the heart, I guess.
11/7/2003 c1 
1aleppine
I see you took my advice and wrote him into a poem.
I like the ref to corrosion. the lack of punctuation ... well, you know I like the timeless feel it creates. And I adored the way you omitted pronouns and linking words towards the end.
'you don't know
pain you caused
never will
lips sealed
forever'
I hope he never finds out ... cheer up. Come out into town with me on the Hunt and cheer up.
Or I'll bully you.
1aleppineI see you took my advice and wrote him into a poem.
I like the ref to corrosion. the lack of punctuation ... well, you know I like the timeless feel it creates. And I adored the way you omitted pronouns and linking words towards the end.
'you don't know
pain you caused
never will
lips sealed
forever'
I hope he never finds out ... cheer up. Come out into town with me on the Hunt and cheer up.
Or I'll bully you.
11/5/2003 c1 612simpleplan13
i like the format its cool.. its short & too the point & i can relate.. its very god! yay!
612simpleplan13i like the format its cool.. its short & too the point & i can relate.. its very god! yay!