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for Wallowing

6/3/2004 c1 116searchlight
Another interesting poem, I'm not quite sure I understand the last line though, could you maybe explain it for me?
11/25/2003 c1 obleuiiis
Your poem is very moving. Such a sad interpretation of love and loss.

Your poem is very persuasive and I hope you do not intend to act on your feelings.Bravo!
11/23/2003 c1 corey
Very nice poem, it was very thought over.
11/22/2003 c1 dk
First of all I want to tell you good job! I am impressed that you dared to write a poem - and even more so that you submitted it for critique.

I am not an English major (or minor) and I do not know poetry, so take what I say with a grain of salt.

On the flip side I am a terrific analyst and I always have an opinion - so here it is...

Don't like the title because I don't like the mood the word Wallowing conjures up however it seems to be appropriate considering your story.

Your poem starts out rhyming and then stops rhyming after the first passage. This may be minor but it bothers me - unless you did this on purpose to add to the mood shift. The change was distracting to me.

I like your use of metaphoric adjectives like "Glowed more than the sun" however, that combined with non-metaphorice phraseology like "eyes drooping lower" was also distracting to me.

Leaves me wondering what the hell happened? One Tiny Bend? In the road?

Swerve to miss a frog?

If you wanted to evoke sadness you succeeded. Nice choice of unique words. I want to see more poems...
11/22/2003 c1 2Keeper of Memory Pepperochu
That was sad, and very good. Grood job, Trapt!

Now if only my story got reviews...*cough*styx*cough*
11/22/2003 c1 Jen
Hey, it's SnappleCap141 from Neopets. This poem was really sad...I like sad poems! But seriously, I really liked it, it was really good. I have to go, you're poem was REALLY good, bye bye!


11/22/2003 c1 C.C
ya like i said it was touching and good. it could sell for millions and u culd be a famous sad poet! Great!
11/22/2003 c1 Linzy
Aww. It's so sad! I luff it though. Very descriptive, and.. Understandable. ^^; I bet you can write good happy poems. Heh. NICE WORK! :D [[Hope this helps any.. o.o;;]]
11/22/2003 c1 Jen
THAT WAS THE KOOLEST POEM I HAVE EVER READ! It was so sad! It nearly mad me cry! I loved it. :)
11/22/2003 c1 ssjyuffie
A beautifully written poem. It is full of emotion which I love reading. Hope you keep writing beautiful stuff, but don't keep on being depressed ^-^
11/22/2003 c1 Neo
I loved it! It was nice!

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