Just In
for Sky's Tears

3/28/2004 c1 123breakdown in the waiting room
No no no this is lovely! Very. . .what's the word- it's kind of Confucious-esque and pondering thoughts. I could hear rain as I read it- very good.
What does it say about me that I like rain?
2/14/2004 c1 Love and Destroy
It's kind of confusing, but I think it's very poetic anyway. I like it! Sunrise
1/29/2004 c1 perkha
1/14/2004 c1 39Dahlia Wolffe
good job on the poem. its really smooth. but if you want a flame...
no jk, i can't talk. i don't even write poetry. please help me, if you can, with putting things in italics and such, i must try poetry format for my story becasue it just doesn't work for me.please r/r me, you will see the problem when you check out "onin"
12/7/2003 c1 64not sure yet
i do have to agree with you..the first line was just kinda odd in my opinion and didnt really fit, but the rest of it was rather fascinating and shocking, i love the image of the trees falling and then their stumps..that was fucking mind blowing, the last stanza was partically desperate, i love that as well, very interesting and despairing...and the last line sort brings it back to reality and a point in time, very much losing yourself in thought and feelings...muchly love it, awesome job
12/2/2003 c1 121Seeker of the Way
This does have promise.
My fave line: And burdens of us who carry
Tortoise shells on our backs.
It like, needs more lines or something, The theme wantas to be lonlieness and rain, but other things get in the way. Maybe put it into #'d sections. Rain, other stuff, end with rain?
There is something nice here. Good luck!
12/1/2003 c1 41InkedinSin
3d stanza is my favorite, i like the subject, like the picture is it painting...a nice change from half of the stuff that is on this site. Good job, kudos!
11/29/2003 c1 3Angerona
O_o it's hot. I LOVE the last line! i mena i worship it as my personal sex god...RIGHT!
Any way i sent you mail! cha cha i sent you mail cha cha...yeah this pome is greta and i love it alot. It's not crap you loser! I love it and thats all the matters.
~Angerona the Goddess of DEath~
11/29/2003 c1 96AutumnRhapsody
I like it, I like the phrasing and the words, etc., but yeah, it's kind of choppy. Although I kind of like that. And I don't quite get it. Not that poetry needs to be understood.
11/29/2003 c1 endless040
you even give pity to the sky
nice one
it seems like you're using the sky to talk about something else.
that last line, definitely a breaker.
yay. awesomeness.
11/28/2003 c1 9TakeItOrLeaveIt
i like it. its a little choppy and hard to understand, but its good. it seems like it has a deeper meaning but i had to read it about 3 times to get it.
11/28/2003 c1 35Krikoris
I love not understanding my work, makes me realize that there are more perspectives of words that I know. There are more ways to take things . .. ack, horrid describing emotions. Not your poem, what I was trying to explain. . . . There are many ways to take this so I cant really help you on that, but I loved the symbolisms that I was able to notice...
11/28/2003 c1 6Flat Pepsi
Hm..I can only say one thing: You said there were two meanings? I can't get it. Otherwise, it's excellent! Quite sad. I enjoyed this.
11/28/2003 c1 612simpleplan13
maybe for the first line.. I admire the lovely day maybe i dunno? it is choppy but that doesnt really bother me.. greatimagery& great meaning.. i actually like it!
11/28/2003 c1 2Hypersensitive
Wow, you outdid yourself. I mean, not understanding your own pieces? It just shows how awesome you are. Anyway, sorry for disappointing you but I haven't been able to write anything that I want to post up.
Lovely piece, I don't really get it, but I loved this stanza:
"The acidity of the lakes,
Seem like a sublime triumph,
Of the gods above.
Faraway, they can afford to be
Indifferent, to the cares
And burdens of us who carry
Tortoise shells on our backs."
And this "Can’t let go to the branch,
Or I might fall down, a long way,
Only to be greeted by,
Detached, callous objects of
Affections." Actually, everything about the poem works.
Go Pris!

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