for At The Bus Stop3/27/2004 c1 
82Linnet
I loved this poem. I totally agree with your views on society-how can people be that way and not realize how terrible it can be?
-Linnet
82LinnetI loved this poem. I totally agree with your views on society-how can people be that way and not realize how terrible it can be?
-Linnet
12/27/2003 c1 128ebonyheart
I'm speechless! I really like this poem, and it's so very true. you can sit there in silence, watch the world pass you by, and learn truly amazing (possibly disturbing) things.
128ebonyheartI'm speechless! I really like this poem, and it's so very true. you can sit there in silence, watch the world pass you by, and learn truly amazing (possibly disturbing) things.
12/24/2003 c1 37Sunflower Philosophy
I'm one of those people who sits at the bus stop and stares into my lap, thinking, "Please let everyone ignore me completely..." Because then I start to analyze everyone's lives.
But occasionally, when I'm feeling like myself and not so fearful of everyone around me, I start to seek the good. I'll notice a woman helping an old lady across the street, or two friends hugging, or a woman changing her seat because she knows that a man who just got on would feel uncomfortable sitting with women (an ultra-orthodox Jew, that is). There is still humanity in this world- maybe even more than there was two thousand years ago. I mean look at the Greeks.
(I'm in Hannukah spirits now... ;) Never mind if you don't know the story of Hannukah...)
Anyway, great job, I really felt like I was sitting there watching the world swarm and buzz all around me...
m~* Sunflower, anyone?
37Sunflower PhilosophyI'm one of those people who sits at the bus stop and stares into my lap, thinking, "Please let everyone ignore me completely..." Because then I start to analyze everyone's lives.
But occasionally, when I'm feeling like myself and not so fearful of everyone around me, I start to seek the good. I'll notice a woman helping an old lady across the street, or two friends hugging, or a woman changing her seat because she knows that a man who just got on would feel uncomfortable sitting with women (an ultra-orthodox Jew, that is). There is still humanity in this world- maybe even more than there was two thousand years ago. I mean look at the Greeks.
(I'm in Hannukah spirits now... ;) Never mind if you don't know the story of Hannukah...)
Anyway, great job, I really felt like I was sitting there watching the world swarm and buzz all around me...
m~* Sunflower, anyone?
12/23/2003 c1 25pleasecometrue
Wow, this was amazing. The few rhymes that i wouldn't have noticed unless i had read this twice (which i did, it's too good not to) really made it flow well. It's amazing what you can see if you just stop and take the time to notice everything. Great write, I love it.
25pleasecometrueWow, this was amazing. The few rhymes that i wouldn't have noticed unless i had read this twice (which i did, it's too good not to) really made it flow well. It's amazing what you can see if you just stop and take the time to notice everything. Great write, I love it.
12/14/2003 c1 47Kenishiro
that is excellent, i use the bus often too.. and i'm agree with you entirely, by waiting the bus you can see a lot of different people and their 'lifestyles', some times i wonders too, maybe i look like that too...
47Kenishirothat is excellent, i use the bus often too.. and i'm agree with you entirely, by waiting the bus you can see a lot of different people and their 'lifestyles', some times i wonders too, maybe i look like that too...
12/14/2003 c1 32The Blind Guardian
Dear CK,
That, too, was brilliant! You sound a lot like me, if I had ever been inclined to write such social comontary. Perhaps one day I shall take up that challenge, htough I think you would far surpass me in the end. The worst part of such writing is that one can get to know a lot about a person by what they write, and if that is a good thing, it is sad because we live in a world where very few people bother to meet one another. The internet is, for most, simply a passtime, and people talk online because they have little else to do. Of course, this is not always the case, and I am sure that many would disagree with me entirely.
By the way, one of your reviewers mentioned that "On the Crust of the Moon." would make a good bed-time story. To this, I must agree fully. For the young and old, that poem is, and should be, inspirational; a tribute to the beauty and wonder of this fragile world. You are still young, but already you seem wise to the true nature of the world around you. I reccomend that one day, when you have kids of your own, you save that poem and read it to them when they are young. Such stories and poetry are what children should be exposed to at a young age, in my opinion; not the synical and self-ritious bullshit that floods television and media. You have a great tallent; use it to your full advantage.
Anyway, enough of my mindless ramblings, right? On to the review. To be honest, I have no complaints about this one what-soever. I really liked it, and it reminded me of a similar piece I once wrote about MY walk to the bus. Mine was not nearly as good or personal though. Keep up the wonderful writing. You have become one of my top favorite writers.
Remy/The Blind Guardian
32The Blind GuardianDear CK,
That, too, was brilliant! You sound a lot like me, if I had ever been inclined to write such social comontary. Perhaps one day I shall take up that challenge, htough I think you would far surpass me in the end. The worst part of such writing is that one can get to know a lot about a person by what they write, and if that is a good thing, it is sad because we live in a world where very few people bother to meet one another. The internet is, for most, simply a passtime, and people talk online because they have little else to do. Of course, this is not always the case, and I am sure that many would disagree with me entirely.
By the way, one of your reviewers mentioned that "On the Crust of the Moon." would make a good bed-time story. To this, I must agree fully. For the young and old, that poem is, and should be, inspirational; a tribute to the beauty and wonder of this fragile world. You are still young, but already you seem wise to the true nature of the world around you. I reccomend that one day, when you have kids of your own, you save that poem and read it to them when they are young. Such stories and poetry are what children should be exposed to at a young age, in my opinion; not the synical and self-ritious bullshit that floods television and media. You have a great tallent; use it to your full advantage.
Anyway, enough of my mindless ramblings, right? On to the review. To be honest, I have no complaints about this one what-soever. I really liked it, and it reminded me of a similar piece I once wrote about MY walk to the bus. Mine was not nearly as good or personal though. Keep up the wonderful writing. You have become one of my top favorite writers.
Remy/The Blind Guardian
12/12/2003 c1 3Pont
wow. great rhythm, i can totally relate ^-^
good job, great sense of frusteration and annoyance covering the piece. A few spots that could use a little revision, but if you reread and revise it I'm sure you'll have it fine. My poems go through at least six revisions every time ^_-
ja ne!
*you review for me I review for you*
3Pontwow. great rhythm, i can totally relate ^-^
good job, great sense of frusteration and annoyance covering the piece. A few spots that could use a little revision, but if you reread and revise it I'm sure you'll have it fine. My poems go through at least six revisions every time ^_-
ja ne!
*you review for me I review for you*
12/9/2003 c1 292Fabian Cortez
Exceptionally well observed & written.
(I think you might enjoy my little piece entitled "Footfalls" you'll see why if you read it)
Very Well Done
Keep Writing!
F.C
292Fabian CortezExceptionally well observed & written.
(I think you might enjoy my little piece entitled "Footfalls" you'll see why if you read it)
Very Well Done
Keep Writing!
F.C
12/8/2003 c1 38BranwenEithne
a very good poem indeed! such is the monotonous flow of human exsistance. We all critize it but yet we all still live in it and do nothing about it.
38BranwenEithnea very good poem indeed! such is the monotonous flow of human exsistance. We all critize it but yet we all still live in it and do nothing about it.
12/7/2003 c1 232karmakaze
My bussrides are quite similar. The exhaust pours into the air, and everything seems so hopeless while people just talk about nothing and don't even care.
I'm glad that you care about the environment, and the world, because not a lot of people do. Great work!
232karmakazeMy bussrides are quite similar. The exhaust pours into the air, and everything seems so hopeless while people just talk about nothing and don't even care.
I'm glad that you care about the environment, and the world, because not a lot of people do. Great work!
12/4/2003 c1 11donzilla70
Well done...
You have a nice eye for your surroundings.
I hope consider writing longer works-short stories-novels?.
There's a wealth of material you can draw on in this piece alone.
Keep writing
11donzilla70Well done...
You have a nice eye for your surroundings.
I hope consider writing longer works-short stories-novels?.
There's a wealth of material you can draw on in this piece alone.
Keep writing
12/2/2003 c1 79deepdown
very very thought provoking. not to say i havent thought all of this before... god, life is pointless. i really do wonder what we are doing - to ourselves, the earth, everything. meh.
i really REALLY liked this line:
So blue is the sky that it could be the sea and we might really be living in a world turned upside-down
it was just so... hmm... observant? damnit, i cant do reviews. wonderful poem, excellent thoughts.
79deepdownvery very thought provoking. not to say i havent thought all of this before... god, life is pointless. i really do wonder what we are doing - to ourselves, the earth, everything. meh.
i really REALLY liked this line:
So blue is the sky that it could be the sea and we might really be living in a world turned upside-down
it was just so... hmm... observant? damnit, i cant do reviews. wonderful poem, excellent thoughts.